


Falling for you One shot.

by Harrysbabylou



Series: Falling For you [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Kids, M/M, Narry - Freeform, Sex, Threesome - M/M/M, sixyearslater, zarry - Freeform, ziall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:00:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 71,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21631258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harrysbabylou/pseuds/Harrysbabylou
Summary: It's six years into their marriage and Harry and Niall are the happiest they have ever been.Zayn is still struggling to move on since his divorce with Matt and after a visit to Niall and Harry he finally decides its time to decide what he want to do with his life now.(If you are not into the idea of Harry/Zayn and Niall/Zayn doing the sex this might not be for you but I do suggest reading the end if you want to find out what happens with Zayn)
Relationships: Niall Horan/Harry Styles, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Harry Styles, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles, Zayn Malik/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Falling For you [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1465426
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	Falling for you One shot.

"Hey Ni, you know what we need. Cows. Let's have cows. Because apparently we live on a fucking farm. I promise I will feed them. They will be my cows. You don't have to lift a finger. Good one Niall you gullible fool. Bats his stupid pretty eyelashes and you just let him have his way every time." Niall throws a bag of feed over the fence, wellies squelching in the mud as he shifts his weight.

Annabel is stood a few feet away watching him.

"What ya looking at? You're his baby not mine. Fucking cows. Cats I said. Rabbits, a dog. Now we have a zoo. Don't even like cows. " Niall hops the fence pushing against Peter, because apparently that is what happens when you let a five year old pick the name for a cow.

Peter had a thing for Niall. Niall refused to have a thing back. Because she was a cow. A cow he did not want.

Peter sniffs at the back of Niall's neck the whole time he is dragging feed over to the barn where the chickens are shut away.

Bird flu was back in the area.  
Niall's life obviously had to get harder for it.

"Peter, for Christ sake babe." Niall pushes back and with a huff of warm breath to Niall's face Peter turns and walks slowly off.

"I'm supposed to be writing guys. But his lordship decided today he has to bake and now I'm stuck feeding you all. Moving to the countryside is not relaxing when ya do it with my husband." Niall grabs the knife he has stored in his pocket and uses it to slice open the bag before shoving his hand in to throw food across the barn floor for the chickens.

"I suppose I have to provide you with fresh water too." After hoisting the bag up onto the self with the knife, Niall turns and makes his way over to the hose, wellies making a wet slap with each step.  
He tips the old water out, using some of it to wash his shoes off a little and to shoo away some of the younger chickens that have started pecking at his feet.

"I never understand how I end up feeding you every single time. Better give me some nice fresh eggs ladies and I better get some good cake out of this. Better leave me the bowl to lick too. He didn't last time, jerk."

"Talking about me to the chickens again?" Niall turns to Harry who is leaning against the barn doors ankles crossed with Annabel standing pressed to his back.

Niall stomach does its normal flip flop feeling it does every time he looks at Harry.

Fancying Harry more then he did when he was sixteen should he impossible but since they got out the city and started a new life here Harry had changed so much.

His hair once again hanging around his shoulders, his skin tan from all the time spent outside, his strength doubled from looking after the land and animals and kids. He looks younger now then he did ten years ago, even if Harry himself insisted that he had wrinkles now. He is so happy and carefree and Niall is so fucking in love with him he could throw up.

"Well, who else am I going to be talking about?" He has chocolate on his cheek and Niall is so endeared by it he could cry. Harry pushes away from the door, hand running over Annabel's back.

"Cakes done." Niall crosses over to Harry, swiping away the chocolate with his thumb before sucking it into his mouth.

"Animals are sorted. Go us." Harry wraps his arms around Niall's waist, walking him backwards. Chickens flap around his feet but he barely notices. There is always something around his feet at the moment.

Chickens, dog, children. And if it was too big to sniff around his feet it would be breathing around his neck. Cows, horse, Harry. Not that Niall would change it for anything.

His back meets the wall, Harry smirking down at him, eyes wide and bright as he towers over Niall.

"Do you know how sexy you look in your wellies?" Niall wraps his arms around Harry's neck, looking thoughtful.

"Hmm, I'm gonna say not sexy at all but whatever floats your boat love." Harry kisses down his neck, hands sliding under his top and around to his back.

"You float my boat. You sale my boat. Captain of boat Styles."

"Oh my god, shut up." Niall tugs Harry's head back up for a kiss, Harry deepening it straight away and pushing himself against Niall.

Niall is working on the button of Harry's jeans when the sound of an engine then a horn blaring breaks them apart. Harry sighs resting his head against Niall's.

"Sometimes our kids are the biggest cock blockers." Niall laughs, smoothing down his hair and attempting to look less flustered as they both leave the barn and hop the fence.

The school bus doors open as soon as the driver sees them and Rebecca and Darcy are out in a flash running towards them, school bags slamming against their legs and artwork flapping. Niall was running out of places to hang up their masterpieces.

Jackson got off not far behind them, tripping on the last step and hitting the floor with a loud thud. Harry and Niall share a look and try to not laugh. Jackson recently turned five and was the clumsiest child Niall had ever known.

He gets up without a fuss, face determined as he tries to catch up with his sisters.

"Hey monsters!" The twins smash into Harry's legs, instantly starting to talk at once about their days. Jackson approached Niall a lot more calmly holding his arms in the air.

"Hey champ. Good day?" Niall picks him up, throwing him over his shoulder. Jackson let's out a scream legs kicking about.

"Yes! Everyday is a good day. " Niall pulls him back, holding him around his waist.

"Well that is good to hear, but what was especially good about this day?" Jackson lips pouted out as he thought.

They adopted Jackson when he was two weeks old. They had been talking about having another but had not made any solid plans yet when they received a phone call from the agency they got Darcy and Rebecca through. Jackson had been found alone in the flat his mother lived in, in a pretty bad way and they asked if Harry and Niall could take him in while they tried to find him a placement once he came out of the hospital. It only took the first twenty four hours for them to know he was going to be staying with them for good.

"Daddy put strawberries in my lunch and I loves them and it made me really happy."

"I got blueberries." Rebecca smiled up at Niall. Her white top was covered in purple stains, why Harry gave the messiest child on earth blueberries is beyond him.

"I got carrots." Niall ruffled Darcy's hair, leaning down to kiss at Rebecca's face.

"Well guess Daddy makes the best lunches then. Should we all head inside so he can make us all a snack?"

"I made cake." All three let out a cheer running towards the house.

Niall and Harry watch them until they disappear into the house, front door slamming against the wall as they go. Niall let's out a breath looking over to Harry.

"Ready for madness?" Harry grins back.

"Always."

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Harry and Niall are washing up dinner when the door quietly opens.

"We being cool or we being arseholes?" Harry shrugs, drying his hands on his jeans.

"Pretty sure she always thinks we are arseholes, but let's go for nice. She is not pass curfew."

"But she didn't tell us she wouldn't be home to eat, she is suppose to." Willow comes into the kitchen, head bent down as she texts quickly on her phone. She doesn't acknowledge either of them as she goes into the fridge to grab a can of fizzy, one hand still speeding over the phone screen.

"Well hey Harry, did you have a nice day?"

"Why thank you Niall, I actually did. How about you?"

"Oh it was great, thank you for asking." Willow pauses, letting out a huff before facing them both with a forced smile.

"Did you both have good days?"

"We did. Thanks for letting us know not to bother cooking for you. Love wasting food me." Willow gives Niall a unimpressed look, phone beeping in her hand.

"I'm seventeen." Harry gasps hands slapping to his cheeks.

"Niall she is seventeen. Now you see I was thinking that because we still house her, feed her, clean up after her, clothe her, pay for her phone bill and the car. We brought that right? I'm sure we did. Pay for her education and just generally care and love for her that she still owed us at least a small bit of respect. But she is seventeen. My Mistake." Willow huffs again. Niall is starting to think this is the only sound teenagers know how to make. He is sure when her friends come back here it's just a load of huffing noises then they leave.

"I'm sorry, I went to Cameron's and lost track of time, but we were studying OK? I forgot to let you know but I was not out being reckless I was doing something good. I am sorry you wasted food and I will defiantly make sure to tell you next time. It was sucky of me." Niall nods, content with her apology, even though he doubts she means it and will without a doubt not tell them next time she will be late.

"Thank you. Did Cameron's parents feed you."

"No, they were out." Harry goes to the fridge pulling out a plate of leftovers.

"I will reheat this for you. Go say hi to the kids they are going to bed soon and they miss you." Willow walks out the room while Harry uncovers the food and puts it in the microwave and Niall goes to the pantry for some dog food.

The sound of the bag rustling is closely followed by claws scrapping across the floor down the hallway. Seconds later Dougie, their five year old brown lab, comes flying in, slamming into the cupboard before running up to Niall.

"Alright crazy."Niall empties some dry food into his bowl, stroking over his head before putting it back.

"Cameron is a girl right?" Harry asks, bent over staring into the microwave with a frown.

"Think so, the one with the green bit in her hair. Always looks thoughtful and writing stuff down, she is a good influence for Willow. I like her."Harry looks over with a fond smile.

"Of course you do." Niall watches Dougie finish off his food in record time then go running back where he came from. Niall shakes his head picking his bowl back up and throwing it on top of the food bag. He never really knew what Dougie got up to, but he could sometimes vanish for hours.

"Why is it that every animal we get is weird?" Harry pulls Willow's food out the microwave, grabbing her some cutlery.

"It's cause you're weird init. It like transfers or something. You are to blame for all the weirdness in this house. I do really love you though. despite all that."

Xxxxxxx

Niall closes the door to the twins room. They are still whispering to each other but they always fall asleep within minutes of being left so Niall does not nag them about it.

He peaks in at Jackson a second time, smiling when he sees him sucking his thumb with his favourite teddy tucked under his chin.  
He honestly has the cutest kids and nothing will change his mind and he will slap anyone who says different.

Once he is happy they are all settled he heads to the stairs that leads up to Willow's room.

He knocks on her door once then opens it up. She is sat at her computer desk, Facebook open on the screen, head bobbing to the music playing softly in the background.

She turns on her chair when Niall walks into the room.

"Hey, I just come to get your plate." Willows grabs her empty dinner plate from her desk holding it out for Niall.

"I really am sorry about not letting you and Harry know I was not coming home."

"I know love, its fine. We just like to worry. You know us." Sometimes Niall is shocked at how grown up Willow can look. When she comes down the stairs dressed up to go out with her friends or when she is helping the twins or Jackson. Other times, like now, when she is looking at Niall with a soft smile and her makeup is off and her long brown hair is scrapped back in a bun he gets a glimpse of what she may have looked like long before she came into his life.

"Love you Wills." She rolls her eyes, cheeks going a little red.

"Yes, I know. Love you too and all that."

Niall and Harry first met Willow when they were visiting the foster home that Sam lived in with Zayn.  
Zayn has still been going every couple of weeks since him and Matt split up. Niall thinks he still sees him as one of his own. It was their first visit and neither Niall or Harry had started thinking about adopting again just yet. Until they saw Willow.  
She was the oldest and seemed so lonely, Niall had felt so sad for her.  
Neither of them had been able to stop thinking about her after they left.

He can't imagine how it must feel at that age, to still be in the system and feel like nobody wants you.  
She had no friends at the home, due to then all being a lot younger and she was having problems at her high school with bullying.

She came to live with Niall and Harry three months later. She acted like a spoilt brat for the first year but once she felt settled and safe that she would not be sent back she mostly behaved.

"How's collage?"She shrugs turning back to her computer.

"It's alright. I'm really enjoying my course, but hate that I have to retake maths. Pointless."

"Any hot boys."Niall waggles his eyebrows, expecting her to scoff and moan at him for trying to be cool. Instead her face goes stony and she turns her back to him.

"You can go now." Niall frowns, feeling a little hurt at her sudden change.

"Willow, I was joking."

"Yeah whatever. Bye." Niall sighs sadly then leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

Teenager are weird.

Xxxxxxx

Niall never regrets moving. Never feels like leaving his family and friends was not the right thing to do. But if he did, then this sight he was looking at right now would be enough to get rid of those thoughts.

He perched on the fence that separated the paddock from the barn, Peter and Annabelle close behind him. Harry was standing the opposite side leaning against Bandit.

Bandit was a beautiful, black and white Cob horse. Niall had practically had a fit when Harry turned up with him, claiming to have saved him.  
Two years later Niall is so thankful because the sight of Harry chatting away to Bandit makes him fall impossible more in love each day.

When they used to joke about all the animals they could have when they first brought the farm house he never thought they would actually do it.

Harry finally notices Niall watching him and places a kiss to Bandits nose before patting his side and making his way over to Niall.

"The little bugger ripped his hay net again. He can eat of the floor now and stop being a snob." He leans against the fence, kissing Niall.

"Kids go up OK?"

"Yep, like little angels. I pissed Willow of though." Harry sighs, climbing up the fence to swing his leg over and hop down next to Niall. His hair flops into his face and Niall pushes it back, tucking it behind his ear.

"Well, wouldn't be Willow if she was not pissed off. She has been so grumpy lately. What did you do?"

"Asked her about boys. Probably should have known better."

"You think she has a boyfriend?" They both start walking slowly back towards the house, Harry tucking his hand into Niall's.

"Don't think so, its not like we can get annoyed if she has anyway. She is seventeen. Only worries me cause she gets so closed off about it. I just want her to be safe you know? Not let anyone hurt her." Harry hums, lips pouting out as he looks up towards Willow's bedroom window, curtain closed and lamp glowing.

"We just have to stay out of it I guess. Not push her. I mean at her age I was married and a dad. You were off on your own travelling. She is a grown up, we just have to be ready for when she needs us. I am now starting to understand how scared my mum was when I told her about Rebecca and Liam." Niall laughs, slipping his shoes off as they walk into the house.

"I have no idea how my mum wanted me to go travel. She actually wanted me to leave and fly around the world. I want to keep Willow here and never have her leave my sight, like ever." Harry goes into the kitchen, grabbing them both a drink from the fridge.

"You have no idea how much I'm going to kill someone if they hurt her." Niall actually had a very big idea and already feels sorry for whatever boy is going to be walking into this house one day.

"Poor boy. Got two dads to deal with. And a couple of scary uncles. Don't get started on her grandad." Harry smiles, shaking his head.

Bobby and Willow clicked the second they met and Niall was sure Bobby knew things about her that he and Harry did not. He was jealous as hell but so thankful she had someone to chat to about things who gave good advice.

"Thank god for Jackson." Niall wraps his arms around Harry, swaying them slowing in the middle of the kitchen.

"Ah, our sweet boy. No worries or cares. Just laughter and falls." Harry noses at Niall's neck.

"Sounds like you. My other sweet boy." Niall looks up at him, hand tangling in his hair.

"I love our life. I hope you know that."

"I do baby, you tell me all the time. Impossible to not know."

Xxxxxxx

Sex with Harry had changed so much over the years.  
Not in a bad way. It was still good. Amazing. Mind blowing. They still done it most nights and it was still exciting. Something just felt different. It was hard for Niall to explain.

His enjoyment for sex grew as the years went on. He wanted Harry more and more each day. He loved feeling that close to him, he loved how it felt to have Harry push into him, to feel like Harry was completely consumed by him. He loves that in the moment he was the only person Harry could focus on.

They had gone through a rough patch when Harry turned forty and had convinced himself Niall would not want him anymore and had started trying a little to hard to keep things going for them.

Niall had experienced some peculiar stuff at that point and had made a very big mistake of trying to talk to River about it. He had hung up after listening to her laugh for twenty minutes straight. They don't talk about that. Ever.

Then something clicked and Harry finally realised that Niall will still want him this way, even when he is a wrinkled old man.

Then the sex somehow got so much better that Niall is reduced to tears most the time.

Like right now, with Harry slowly fucking into him. His legs are wrapped tightly around his waist, body shaking as he clings onto Harry. He cries into Harry's shoulder as his orgasm hits, finger dragging up his back as it washes over him.

Sex gets better with age. It's a fact. Niall is so fucking thankful.

Harry follows closely behind, spilling into Niall as he mouths at his neck with a groan.

"Fuck." Niall flops back, body relaxing as Harry pulls out and falls down next to him, breathing heavily as he tries to catch his breath.

He looks at Niall, swiping away a tear before cupping his cheek and moving closer for a kiss.

"Good?" Harry smirks as he asks, knowing full well that he just sent Niall to bloody heaven and back.

Or maybe hell.

Being fucked and made to come as hard as Niall just did does not feel like a heaven suitable thing.

"Just a little bit." Niall holds his thumbs and index finger close together.

"Oh, just a little bit? OK, I get it." Harry sighs, drumming his fingers on his bare chest.

"I guess you will be fine if we don't have sex ever again then right?" Niall shrugs, looking up at the ceiling.

"I could survive." Harry's face appears above Niall and before he can defend himself Harry is digging his fingers into his side.

Niall screeches, feet kicking out. Harry quietens him by covering his mouth with his own, sticking his tongue passed his lips. Niall laughs, biting down gently on his tongue as he carries on attacking Niall's side.

"Stop it you prick." His words are muffled, but Harry stops tickling him and instead focuses on kissing him properly.

Niall let's out a happy sigh, grabbing the back of Harry's head as he depends the kiss, lips sliding easily together.

Six years into their marriage and kissing Harry still feels like the first time.  
Love is so much more then Niall ever thought possible.

Xxxxxxxx

"Lunch?"

"Check."

"Homework?"

"Check."

"Reading book?"

"Yes."

"Willow, You got lunch sorted?" Harry leans around Niall to grab Jackson's school bag off the side, dropping it over Jackson shoulder as he rushes off to get his school shoes.

"Bus is going to pulling up soon guys. Harry don't forget your phone." Niall passes Rebecca her bag then pushes her out the kitchen to get her shoes on. Harry runs back into the room to get his phone from the table.

"Thanks love. Can't send you lunchtime nudes without this." Willow walks in sending Harry a disgusted look.

"He doesn't actually send me them. Have you got lunch sorted?"

"I should hope not considering he has lunch with a bunch of eight year olds and yes, I'm having lunch with Cameron." Harry quickly kisses Niall before leaving again, Willow trailing behind him.

Niall looks around at the mess on the kitchen with his hands on his hips.

Harry suddenly skids back into the room, work bag dragging on the floor.

"Cameron is defiantly a girl?"

"Yes. Green hair. Go make sure the kids get on the bus and go away."

"OK, love you sexy."

"Love you too, dork." Harry winks, then leaves again.

Niall laughs to himself when the front door shuts and they are all finally out the house. He starts cleaning up, making more noise then necessary to fill the silence.

By the time he has cleaned up, showered and got dressed it's only 10am and the kids and harry won't be back until 3:30pm.

Harry only worked a few of days a week and they were always the worst days for Niall.

He flops onto the sofa, phone raised above his face and he opens his face time and clicks on Liam's name.

He answer quickly, looking sleepy and ruffled.

"Hey mate." He whispers, phone moving closer to his face.

"Hey, why are we whispering?"

"Because look-" He moves through the house,turning his phone away from him to show Niall a sleeping three year old on the sofa.

"Look what I done. He is asleep. I am so amazing."

"Its like the morning. Why is he asleep already?" Liam's face comes back in view. Liam has looked permanently stressed since he became a dad and realised babies do not follow strict schedules no matter how hard he tries.

"Because he has been awake since three this morning that's why."

"Oh, ouch." Niall screws his face up in sympathy. He is so thankful his kids had always slept well. He would hate to lose so much sleep like so many other parents.

"It really is ouch mate. Like actual physical pain not be asleep at that time. Unfortunately Macy has work today so it was her turn to sleep. I should get an award for being the best husband in the world,honestly."

"The best husband?For what? Doing half the work like your suppose to." Liam gives him a blank look, obviously not in the mood for Niall to joke with him today.

"I am so going to make sure Caleb grows up calling you Grandad."

"Don't you dare. I am far too young. That's harry job. I shag the Grandad I do not become the Grandad." Liam pretends to gag, the background blurring as he walks to the kitchen.

"How is everyone? Missing me loads? Silly question, of course they do."

"We don't even notice you're gone mate. So don't be so full of yourselves. Actually I was going to ask if you had heard from Zayn. He normally comes over today but has been a no show and he is not answering his phone. Which you know, he is all 'I am Zayn and I paint and when the inspiration hits I must vanish' so he could just be doing that."

"I haven't spoken to him for a couple of days but he did send me a text message Monday night to say goodnight. Adorable." Liam bites into an apple and Niall can see the juice spray out as he chews. Being a dad is making him sloppy and Niall loves it.

"Yeah, adorable. Maybe River got to him. She is planning this big party for Nolan's seventh birthday. This boyfriend of hers is splashing the cash again." River has been dating a pretty cool bloke called Kellin for six months now. As far as Niall could tell he treated her like a queen and Nolan like a Prince and that was all Niall needed to know. He was super rich too. Like richer then all off them put together, and had a ten year old daughter called Rosie.

All in all Niall was really happy for her and Nolan.

"So he should be. Can't believe me little man is going to be seven. How old are we?"

"Too old man. Rae turning eleven fucked me up enough. We will be thirty soon Niall. That is so... old."

"I personally can't wait. Life starts at thirty. Flirty thirty and all that. Plus it's not old, I don't feel old." Liam frowns at the camera, hand running over his hair.

"That's cause you get sleep. Caleb has taken like ten years off my life already. Its not natural to not sleep." Niall bites back his laugh. He does feel sorry for Liam. Caleb is permanently hyped up and does not need much sleep at all.

Harry has suggest Caleb could maybe be Autistic once but Macy had bit his head of so nobody dared mention it again.

Niall bloody loved the kid.

"I need to go Ni, try and get a shower in before he wakes up. Love you loads."

"Love you too man. I hope you get some sleep tonight." Liam blows him a kiss which Niall pretends to catch and place to his cheek.

Once Liam has hung up Niall goes upstairs to his office to stare moodily at his laptop for the rest of the day, Dougie curled up by his feet snoring.

Xxxxx

"Harry?" Niall rubbed at his eyes as he walked down the stairs looking for Harry.

He finds him standing in the living room watching out the window with his hands on his hips.

"Harry its two in the morning what are you doing? Can't sleep without you." Harry doesn't turn away from the window but Niall can tell he is angry.

"She is not back yet." Niall sighs, tugging his top down. It was inside out and backward but he was too tired to care.

"She told us she was going to a party."

"It too late, she should be back by now." Niall crosses the room, legs still shaky as he drops down on the arm of the chair. Sometimes Niall felt like Harry was to strict on Willow but didn't really know how to tell that to Harry without it ending in a fight between them.

"She is seventeen love, just having fun with her friends."

"Seventeen is still a child. A seventeen year old has no reason to still be out at a party at this time. She is a child." Niall gets up wrapping his arms around Harry's waist.

"she is an adult. A sensible adult who has never given us a reason to doubt her. She has never come back drunk and she is not hanging out with a bad crowd. She is having fun Harry. Also you really should stop calling her a child, I was a year younger then her when you started sleeping with me." Harry relaxes back in Niall's arms, lips twitching into a small smile when Niall leans up to kiss his cheek.

"Don't remind me, just adds something else for me to worry about."

"You don't need to worry. She is a good girl." As Niall speaks, headlights comes up the driveway.

"See, she is home. It's not that late really, not for her."

Niall had pulled a lot of all nighters when he was seventeen. In places he didn't really know with people he knew even less. And he ended up sleeping with a lot of them. As far as he was conceded they had it easy with Willow.

Willow finishes saying bye to whoever drove her home and climbs out the car. The interior lights comes on and Niall knows as soon as he sees who is in the driver seat they Harry is going to be pissed.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Harry yanks Niall's arms off him marching towards the front door.

"Harry don't." Niall grabs his hand pulling him back as Willow quietly comes in.

"Why is a boy driving you home?"

"Jesus Harry." Niall leans against the wall hand rubbing over his face. Willow looks confused, edging closer to Niall.

"I needed a lift. He was the only one who had not drank alcohol tonight and the buses had stopped."

"Well who is he?"

"His name is Drew, he is in my drama group. Why do you sound angry? I found a sensible safe way to get home. Or does me being a girl and him being a boy make it all so wrong?"

"No, of course not." Willow crosses her arms over her chest and Niall can see the same look cross her face that appeared there the other night in her room.

"You are angry because a boy brought me home. Because I'm a girl. Way to be judgemental Harry. Guess we all think I sucked his dick then."

"Willow!" Niall pushes away from the wall, her words leaving a unsettling feeling in his belly. Harry recoil back face falling.

"What! It's what he is thinking."

"No it was not. I just worry, I'm allowed to worry." Willow shakes her head, kicking her shoes of her movements shaky.

"Would you have worried if it was a girl? If I got in a car late at night with a girl? Would you have rather one of my female drunk friends brought me home? Might have crashed the car and died but hey, at least I won't end up being shagged in the backseat right. You are so judgemental it's ridiculous." Willow storms up the stairs, footsteps echoing as she goes.

"Willow, don't be so over the top."

"It's like your obsessed. Boys, boys, boys. It all you go on about, it's all I hear."

"Lets just talk about it."

"Fuck off!" Harry turns to Niall in disbelief as Willow stomps up her set of stairs and slams the door.

Niall just shrugs his shoulders, walking past Harry.

"If the kids wake up now you are dealing with it. You acted like a jerk and she is right. The girl got home safely and you told her off for it, idiot"

Xxxxx

When everyone leaves the next day Niall has never felt so thankful.

Willow was still in a mood with Harry, which Niall completely understood, and her attitude had rubbed of on the twins who had started playing up during breakfast. Then Jackson refused to brush his teeth and had kicked Niall in the shin while he tried to make him do it.

Closing the front door on them all never felt so good.

After feeding the animals and taking Dougie for a walk Niall went up to his office. Harry was only working until lunch today so Niall wanted to get some emails and work done so he could spend some time with him before mayhem started again.

He spoke to Sonya on the phone for a bit about a new project he wanted to work on before trying to call Zayn. He had text him and rang a few times after speaking to Liam the day before and had still not heard from him.

"What are you doing Malik?" He sent a quick text off to Liam to let him know Zayn was still in hiding then shut down his computer and headed downstairs to put the kettle on, ready for Harry.

Harry arrives back just as Niall is stirring the milk in, Dougie running outside barking madly.

"Niall! You need to come out here!" Niall groaned, putting the milk away. Last time Harry called him out and sounded that excited they suddenly had chickens.

"I swear god. Probably a bloody camel knowing this one." Niall shoves his shoes on, preparing himself for the worse.

When he steps outside Harry seems to be animal free but is grinning from ear to ear pointing down the driveway.

Niall spins round to see what he is getting so excited about and instantly let's out a sounds that is a mix between a laugh and a yell.

He is off running across the gravel and Zayn only just has time to drop his bag before Niall is smashing into him legs wrapping around his waist.

It's been so long, so fucking long, since he last saw Zayn in person. Niall shoves his nose into his neck and smells. Because Zayn still smells the same.

"Fuck I missed you." Zayn tightens his hold on him, slapping a wet kiss to his cheek.

"Missed you too babes." Harry reaches them, long arms wrapping around them both, Dougie now clawing up Zayn's leg.

"What are you doing here? Are you staying long? Where are the kids? God I missed you!" Zayn laughs wiggling out of both Niall and Harry's grips, Niall's feet going back to the floor.

"The kids have gone on vacation with Matt, I didn't fancy sitting around the house on my own so I thought it would be a good time to come see you guys. And I was thinking I could stay a couple of weeks if that's alright with you?" Niall yells again jumping back onto Zayn.

"Yes, please do. Sucks the kids couldn't come but I'm so fucking glad you're here." Harry picks Zayn's bag up for him and starts to walk back towards the house, Zayn following with Niall still hanging off him.

"Oh my god you actually got cows. I thought you were joking. They are so cute." Zayn drops his arms from Niall's waist to go over and see Peter and Annabel with Harry. Niall would be annoyed at Zayn's attention being taken away from him so soon but Harry looks so excited he let's it happen with just a small pout.

Xxxx

Niall places a mug of coffee down in front of Zayn before dragging his chair as close as he can, knees pressing together.

"How have you been?"

"Good, I've been really good."

"Everything OK at the house?" Zayn wraps his hands around his mug dragging it closer to him.

"Yeah it's all fine. Rae loves living where her uncle Liam grew up, keeps asking him loads of questions about it"

"You been dating?" Zayn shakes his head, looking down into his mug.

"Nah. Not quite ready for that yet." It had been five years since Zayn's divorce was finalised. It was obvious that Zayn still loved Matt. Seeing Zayn go through the process of divorcing him had been heart breaking, but even after Niall had said he understood if Zayn wanted to stay with him a hundred times, Zayn still felt like it was the only thing he could do.

It felt like such a long time for someone as good as Zayn to be alone for.

"You don't have to feel guilty you know? Even if it's just casual."

"Yeah I know. I don't feel like I still have to be faithful to him or anything. I just don't want to put myself out there again. People suck."

"I don't suck. I'm people." Zayn looks up, eyes meeting Niall's.

"You're not just people. You are you. I would trust you."

"I really missed you. I don't see you enough." Zayn's face softens, his hands curling around Niall's on the table.

"You could see me every other week and you would say its not enough."

"It would be true." He wants to ask Zayn where he has been the past two days. Why he has stopped talking to everyone. Why he suddenly turned up here. He didn't want to upset him though. It was so nice to have him sat right here, to know he was staying for longer then he has before. Maybe he would tell Niall on his own. If he came here then that probably means he wants to talk to Niall.

Niall wiggles one hand out from Zayn's to brush his thumb over his cheek, hand sliding under his ear and into his hair.

"I'm just really glad you are here." Zayn leans into his hand, head turning so he can press his lips to Niall's wrist.  
"Same. I always miss you too, all the time. Not the same back home without you, I'm glad I decided to come here it feels so good already." Niall smiles, swallowing around the lump forming in his throat.

Zayn was sad. He has been sad for years and Niall just wants to make him happy again. He had two weeks. He was sure he could do it.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The kids arriving home is absolutely bedlam when they spot Zayn.

Darcy and Rebecca don't stop screaming for what feels like hours and Jackson is practically bouncing off the walls with excitement, showing Zayn all his school work and new toys he got since he last saw him.

Even Willow manages a genuine smile when she walks in the front door and greets him with a hug the she holds for a lot longer then Niall and Harry expected.

"Been missing you." Zayn smacks a kiss to her head. "Why do you look like an adult though?"

"Same reason you look like an old man." Zayn gasps ruffling her hair as he let's her go.

"This household is rude."

"I'm not rude Uncle Zayn, I only say nice talk. I like your face and your top is cool." Zayn laughs, scooping Rebecca off the floor.

"This is why I only like people under the age of seven." Rebecca laughs loudly, legs flapping about as Zayn tickles her sides before dropping her onto the sofa.

This has got to be one of Niall's favourite things, seeing Zayn interact with his kids like this, and by the look on Harry's face he feels exactly the same way.

"Don't forget you have homework guys." Darcy and Rebecca whine loudly while Jackson runs off to get his book bag.

"I don't wanna do homework. I wanna play with uncle Zayn." Zayn sits down pulling the twins onto his lap.

"How about I do homework with you, and then after we can play for a bit?" The twins cheer, jumping off Zayn lap.

"We have to draw pictures of our favourite animals. I am doing Dougie and Darcy wants to do Peter. We are so good at drawing." Zayn nods, looking over his shoulder as Jackson comes back.

"What you got little man?"

"I have to read two pages of my school book." He trips over the strap of his bag landing in a tangled heap. Harry picks him back up, unwrapping the strap from his feet before sitting him down next to Zayn.

"You are crazy mate. You left a quite house for this mad zoo." Zayn chuckles, taking the paper and pens Darcy was shoving at him.

"Honestly I can't imagine anything better."

Niall leaves Zayn to it, thankful to not be on homework duty for now and decides to get started on dinner.

"What you cooking good looking?" Niall rolls his eyes, loading himself up with vegetables from the fridge.

"Going to do vegetable lasagne cause its Z's favourite. Want to help me?"

"Always" They chop vegetables in silence, listening to Zayn talking quietly to Willow in the other room.

Their arms keep brushing and they keep sharing small smiles and Niall suddenly can't wait to get into bed tonight and just cuddle up with him.

"You look really happy." Niall nods, not taking his eyes off what he was doing as he nudged Harry's hip with his own.

"Got my two favourite boys under the same roof, what's to not be happy about."

"I'm going to tell Liam you said that." Niall throws a bit of broccoli at Harry with a glare, laughing when it bounces of his nose.

"Do you think he is alright? Nice he is here but not like him to just show up." Niall shrugs, glancing over his shoulder to the doorway.

"Not sure. Haven't spoken to him for a few days, I text him yesterday after Liam told me he hadn't heard from him either, and I text him again this morning but by then he was probably heading up here." Harry puts his knife down, grabbing the tea towel to wipe his hands.

"He didn't drive down. A taxi dropped him off at the bottom of the track so he must have got a train to the village. But strange that he didn't drive." Niall ignores the small bit of doubt that creeps up into the back of his head and instead focuses on scooping the vegetables up.

"Maybe he just fancied taking the train, driving up here can be a right bugger sometimes. He probably wanted to be able to chill out and draw or something." Harry doesn't reply and they both go back to cooking in silence. Zayn laughs loudly at something, Willow joining in after a second.

"Nice to hear him laugh." Niall nods, leaning into Harry and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Yeah it really is."

Niall gets the food into the oven, Harry setting the timer for him then they both go back in the lounge, hands swinging between them as they sit across from Zayn and the kids.

Niall curls up into Harry side, head laying on his shoulder as they both watch Zayn and the twins colour in their drawings while every now and then Willow will nudge Zayn to get his attention to something on her phone.

Jackson moves to sit with Harry and Niall, squeezing between them with his school book.

It felt peaceful and homely to have Zayn sat with them all during such a normal family situation.

Zayn looks up as Jackson starts reading along with Harry, eyes meeting Niall. Niall smiles and Zayn returns it before turning back to Willow as she whacks his shoulder again.

When the timer goes off Niall helps pack away the art stuff then herds the kids into the kitchen. There is a bit of a scuffle over who is going to sit next to Zayn and he ends up with Rebecca and Jackson perched on each of his knees while Darcy drags her chair as close as possible leaving Zayn with hardly any room to actually eat.

"You guys wanna give him room to breath?" Niall places the food down on the table, slapping at Willows hand that was still clutching onto her phone.

"Away missy." She rolls her eyes but reaches behind herself to lay her phone on the worktop.

"Zayn seriously if they are too much then shove them away. Like parasites these three."

"They are fine. Its nice." Dinner mostly consists of the kids talking too loudly over each other and food being dropped on the floor which is normal for them really.

Niall can't stop watching Zayn as he effortlessly keeps up with four separate conversations, his feet tangled with Niall's under the table. Harry takes Niall's hand, giving it a squeeze his eyes also glued across the table at Zayn.

Willow is first to finish, pushing her plate away from her, already looking towards her phone.

"Can I get up from the table please?" Everyone else was mostly done so Niall let's her go rolling his eyes when she lunges for her phone. What was it with teenagers and their phones these days?

"You OK if I go get the kids bath on while you start on this mess?" Niall asks Harry, leaning closer to give him a kiss.

"Sure."

"I can help you Harry. Off my lap kids." Jackson and Rebecca groan and pout but slide of his lap without to much fuss.

Niall gets up clapping his hands together.

"Right messy monsters bath time." They all go running off and Niall knows before it even happens that Jackson is going to trip. Niall grabs the back of his top before he hits the ground, gripping tightly as he yanks him up and holds him in the air.

Jackson laughs loudly, flapping his arms.

"Come on clumsy bird." Niall takes him up the stairs, leaving him in the girls room to play while he sets everything up for their bath.

Bath time was always pretty crazy. The kids usual used it to get the last of their energy out before crashing in bed. It got a little wet most evenings.

Niall slips his socks off walking back to the twins room to get Jackson, helping him undress.

"Did you get my scuba?"

"Is scuba not with the other bath stuff?" Jackson shakes his head throwing his pants across the room.

"No, Daddy let me take him downstairs so I don't got him right now." Niall sighs getting back up. Scuba was a plastic crocodile and had been a part of Jackson bath time since he was two. There was no way Niall was getting him into the bath without him.

"Stay right in this spot. Do not get in the water or lean over the tub, understand?"

"Yep." Niall ruffles his hair before quickly leaving the bathroom and jogging down the stairs.

He finds scuba stuffed down the side of the sofa, amongst other things that he didn't even want to think about right now. Kids are gross and weird.

He looks into the kitchen as he passes, stopping when he sees Harry stood with his arms around Zayn waist.

He thinks Zayn is upset at first and goes to move towards them and ask what's wrong but then Zayn let's out a soft laugh, head nudging against Harry's shoulder. Niall smiles to himself wondering what they were talking about. Harry and Zayn had grown a lot closer over the year Zayn was sorting out his divorce and Niall was really happy to know Zayn felt he could go to Harry to talk about important stuff and he liked seeing them be so close with each other.

Harry said something that Niall could not quite catch but it had Zayn laughing again and stepping away from him with a blush. Niall raises his eyebrows making a note to ask Harry about it later as he goes back upstairs.

Jackson is still in the same spot, rocking back and forward on his feet staring at the door.

"Good boy, poor scuba was shoved down the sofa." Jackson takes scuba holding him to his chest.

"He was napping." Niall laughed, holding his hand out for Jackson to take as he stepped into the tub.

"Lucky scuba." By the time Niall is done with helping Jackson wash he is completely soaked. bath time was definitely not one of his favourite things.

Harry comes up just as Niall is carrying Jackson to his room to get him dressed and thankfully takes over with the twins.

"Can I wear Chase?"

"Course, you know where he is?" Jackson runs over to his dresser, opening the bottom draw were his pyjamas are kept. He searches for a bit, Niall taking a moment of silence to mourn what was once a tidy and organised draw, his face lighting up when he finds his Paw patrol pyjamas. He rushes back over to Niall, stepping on the bottom of the trousers and falling in a heap on the floor.

"Really dude? You are a mess mate." Jackson giggles as he gets back up, throwing his clothes at Niall.

Niall holds his trousers out patiently waiting for Jackson to balance himself well enough to step into them, pulling them up by himself hips wiggling as he jumped around.

"Careful mister." Niall holds out his top, pushing it over his head then lifting the arms up for Jackson to slip on. Jackson grinned then yanked up the hood attached to his top that made him look like he was Wearing Chase's police hat.

He woofs loudly in Niall's face then goes running out the room, his feet pounding down the stairs probably in search of Dougie.

"Hey Ni what room do you want me in?" Niall gets up off the floor, rubbing at his knee as he went out into the hallway were Zayn was standing with his bag.

"You're across from me and Harry. That way you have your own bathroom and don't have to share with these messy gits." Zayn heads into the room across from Niall's and next to Jackson, throwing his bag onto the bed. Niall follows him in, chuckling to himself when he hears a cup of water hit the floor in the bathroom.

" You sure you're OK with me staying?" He walks over to the window, looking out at the paddock. Niall comes up behind him wrapping his arms around his waist, chin resting on his shoulder.

"Course not. You can stay whenever for however long. Miss you when I'm not with you." Zayn covers Niall's hands with his own leaning back into him.

"I know. You keep saying." Niall tuts, nipping at Zayn's sides making him squirm about in his grip.

"You love me saying it so shut up. Be nice when the kids are in bed so we can snuggle and talk properly." Zayn hums leaning his head against Niall's.

"Will be. I should probably have a shower before then. Freshen up after the journey and whatnot." He makes no move to go so Niall keeps hold of him, listening to Harry mess around with the twins in the bathroom.

"Your sure you have been OK?"

"Yeah, promise."

"And the kids have been good?" Zayn turns in Niall's arms, his own arms sliding around Niall's neck keeping him close.

"They have been fine. Rae has started to have a bit of an attitude but nothing I can't handle. You don't have to worry about me you know. I do just fine." Niall brings a hand up to brush his thumb across Zayn's cheek, stopping just above his lips.

"I know. I just want you to be as happy as possible." Zayn smiles, gently tugging at the end of Niall's hair.

"I am as happy as I can be." Which is not happy enough as far as Niall is concerned. Zayn has not really been happy for so long.

Harry must have got the twins out the bath because a completely naked Rebecca goes running past the door screaming at the top of her lungs, blonde hair flowing behind her.

"I bloody love this mad house." Niall laughs, stepping back from Zayn.

"Me too. Wouldn't mind the volume being a little but lower on the kids though. And less of an attitude on the teenager maybe."

"She is a good kid. You gotta cut her some slack on the boys stuff."

"Umm excuse you that's Harold not me. As if she has already moaned to you about that." Zayn laughs going over to his bag to grab stuff out for his shower.

"I knew before I got here. She called me up a few days ago in a right mood with you both. She called Liam too but he started going on about protecting his sisters flower and I think she died for a second." Niall laughs hand covering his mouth.

"Did he actually say flower?"

"Yep. Biggest loser ever." Zayn hooks his towel over his arm, body wash held in his hand as he comes back over to Niall.  
"Seriously though, Harry can't give her shit over every boy she hangs out with. How would you have felt if your dad gave you crap for every boy you spent time with, acting like all they wanted to do was get in your pants?" Niall sighs, following Zayn as he went into his bathroom.

"I know, and I want her to meet a boy and fall in love and all that stuff because I loved every second of doing that myself. Harry is just worried she will get hurt, or hurt someone else. We all know what can happen when feeling get hurt don't we?" Zayn puts his stuff down, facing Niall with a frown.

"Ni, most people who get hurt cry about it then move on. What... he done was because he is messed in the head. She will be fine, get Harry to chill and stop judging every boy in her life." Zayn takes off his shirt, dropping it to the floor.

"Now get out here before you see something you don't want to see." Niall looks Zayn up and down with a smirk.

"I can't think of anything I would not like to see." Zayn whips his towel towards Niall who runs out the bathroom with a yelp.

He glares at the door as Zayn slams it shut, hand rubbing at his bum.

"Arsehole."

Xxxxxxxx

Niall drops down on the sofa with a sigh, rubbing tiredly at his face. Zayn lifts his head up from Harry shoulder eyes drooping.

"They asleep?" Niall wiggles into Harry's side, relaxing into his side as he slings his arm over Niall's shoulder.

"Yeah. Just wanted me to read more of their book." Niall yawned loudly. Harry starts to rub at the back of his head with his fingers the soothing motion making Niall's eyes slowly drift close.

"Sorry if me suddenly turning up unsettled them. Should have timed it for after bedtime." Harry yawns next, head falling to the side against Zayns hand going still in Niall's hair.

"Nah its all good. Been fun, they will be better tomorrow." Zayn snuggles back down, hand sliding across Harry's stomach to find Niall's.

"If we fall asleep here we will regret it." Niall grunts lazily holding Zayn's hand back.

"Too tired to regret. Just need to sleep." Harry sighs then suddenly sits up, jolting Niall fully awake again.

"I was so close. My face hurts I am that sleepy. Its horrible." Zayn chuckles gripping onto Harry as he helps him to his feet.

"We can make it to bed. Come on." Niall groans loudly as Harry and Zayn yank him up, both keeping hold of him as they head upstairs.

"Night guys. Sorry again for messing up bedtime." Niall leans against Zayn, pressing his lip to his cheek.

"Don't be. Super glad you are here. Is this how Liam feels all the time? How is he a person still." Harry laughs saying goodnight to Zayn then pushing Niall into their room.

"Teeth."

"Oh god no. Just one night. I need bed. Eyes need close to be." Harry laughs again, helping Niall get out his clothes.

"You really don't like being sleepy do you."

"It's the worst." Harry lays Niall down on the bed, covering him on the blanket before stripping down himself and going into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Niall manages to keep himself awake until Harry slips back into bed all minty breathe and fresh.

"Night night baby."

"Night Darling. So nice having Zayn here."

"It is love. Sleep time now." Harry tucks his arm under Niall, turning his body towards him for a cuddle.

"Love you forever."

"Love you too beautiful."

Xxxxxxxx

The first time it happens Niall is not really surprised. After all they had decided to get half naked and dry hump each other on the sofa in the middle of the day. In Niall's defence, Harry is too good looking most the time and he has a certain way he kisses sometimes and a certain way that his hands move over Niall that makes it completely impossible to not start tearing his clothes off. 

Zayn was bound to walk in on them really.

"Fuck guys, I am so fucking sorry." Niall falls off Harry's lap, looking over to Zayn who is pressed to the wall with his hands covering his eyes, cheeks flushed red.

"Its fine Z, our fault." Niall grabs his top off the floor quickly pulling it back on as Harry does the same, adjusting himself as he gets up.

Zayn slowly lowers his hands, eyes flicking between them both.

"It's fine. Absolutely fine. Your house init, i will just like wear a fucking bell around my neck or something." He gives them both a hard look then walks out the room, going up the stairs loudly.

"Oops." Harry is trying to tame his hair back down, grinning across at Niall. "Bet he is going to be bashing one out after that." Niall grabs a cushion and throws it at Harry's head.

xxxxxxx

The second time is most definitely Niall's fault.

"You sure you locked the door?" Harry gasps, hand tighten in Niall's hair as he swirls his tongue around the tip of his dick.

"Yes." Niall slides his mouth as far down as he can take Harry, palming at his own hard dick as Harry moans legs falling apart a little more as he leans back into the counter.

"Your mouth is going to be the death of me." Niall hums, Harry's thigh twitching under his hand with the vibration.

He guesses maybe it was not the most sensible decision to give Harry a quick blowjob in the main bathroom when they do have their own, very privet bathroom but that would have taken a few seconds longer and Niall had been quite keen to get his mouth around Harry's cock.

It a decision he does not regret as Harry starts to come down his throat. It is however one he regrets as the bathroom door opens and Zayn steps in.

"Really again! Fuck." Harry jumps back, a streak of come hitting Niall's cheek. Zayn's eyes widen, a small whimper leaving his lips before he stumbles back slamming the door shut.

"I don't think I actually locked the door." Harry scowls down at Niall, handing him a tissue to wipe his face.

"Really, do you think?" Niall cleans his face up, almost laughing at the look on Harry face as he tucks himself back into his jeans. The look on Zayn's face had been a little funny, and it's not like it was super embarrassing for him to walk in on them. It was just Zayn.

They should probable be more careful from now on though. Just stick to the bedroom, like normal people when they have guests.

"Have you been eating more fruit?" Niall asks, smacking his lips together. Harry beams as he cups Niall's face in his hands.

"I have. You are so sweet for noticing, love you babe."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Whenever Zayn comes to visit he always gets really stuck in with the Bandit. Which really suits Niall because it means he has to do half the stuff he normally does when Harry is at work.

Dougie is running around Zayn's feet as he works on fixing Bandits hay net. Niall had always seen Zayn as a proper city boy so the first time he came to visit them properly after their wedding he had been shocked how natural Zayn seemed around Bandit.

Turns out he had been forced into horse riding lessons when he was six by his mum and had ended up taking quite the shine to the horses and had kept it up until he turned fifteen and his parents no longer wanted to spend the money on it.

"You think Willow will be up for going out for a ride later?"

"If she is has not got plans then definitely. You know she loves going out with you. Me and Harry just annoy her by worrying. We annoy her in generally really." Zayn looks up, wincing in the sun a little.

"That's just cause you're her dads. She is supposed to be annoyed by you. You know she loves you." Half the time Niall thinks Willow would be happy if he vanished actually.

"She loves us, don't think she likes us though. She has been so moody lately, crazy mood swings." Zayn hangs the hay net back up, Bandit pushing against his shoulder as he tries to get to his food.

"How long has she been like that for?" Zayn comes over to where Niall is sitting on the fence, hopping up to sit with him.

"A couple of months maybe? Actually about the time she started collage. She has this really nice group of friends. They come over sometimes and me and Harry really like them, so i'm not that worried about who she is spending time with. I don't know, maybe we done something to piss her off and just did not realise."

"I doubt it. Your are both good with her. You give her space and privacy, Harry could chill on the boy subject though. I really can't imagine its a thing you done. Maybe collage is hard and she just takes it out on the people around her. Want me to try and talk to her about stuff?" Willow would probably talk to Zayn. She trusts him and she thinks he is cool,but he would hate for Willow to think Zayn was using that to his advantage to be able to come and tell him and Harry stuff about her.

"No best not. Just, if she does happen to tell you something and you don't think she is safe let me know OK? But other then that just be there for her if she lets you and be her secret keeper yeah?" Zayn smirks, hitting his shoulder against Niall's.

"Already am. And hey.." He jumps down on the fence, brushing his jeans down as he backs away from Niall. "Just so you can go tell Harry and make him chill out, your girl is totally a virgin still."

"What! You talked to her about sex?" Zayn holds his hands up, shaking his head.

"I'm not saying anything else. You got a good teenager, just be happy about it. She could have been like me or you."

"What was wrong with me?"

"What do you mean what was wrong with you? You where having sex with a man in his thirties. Can you even imagine what Harold would do if Willow was doing that, like there would be dead people Niall. Now come help me with these cows, i'm not actually your slave." Niall grumbles, but gets down from the fence to help Zayn finish off feeding the rest of the animals.

By the time they are done they have enough time to play on the Xbox for a bit, and its just really nice to do something so normal and relaxed with Zayn, just the two of them.

Harry get's home just before the kids school bus arrives, all three letting out yells of excitement when they see Zayn is still here, piling off the bus to start climbing all over him.

Niall and Harry follow them back into the house, the twins hanging off Zayn's arms and Jackson wrapped around his legs, letting out a squeal every time Zayn's leg lifts up.

"You two have a good day?" Harry asks, pressing a kiss to the side of Niall's neck. Niall sighs, titling his head a little as Harry kisses down to his shoulder.

"Yeah, was work good?"

"Yep. Missed you." Niall wraps his arms around Harry neck, noses at the side of his face until he lifts his face back up to connect their lips. Niall deepens it, pressing himself to Harry more, hands tangling in his hair and tugging slightly as Harry slowly licks into his mouth. Niall pushes him back until Harry is pressed to the wall, leg slipping between Harry's groaning into his mouth.

This is what Niall wishes he could do all day. Life and responsibility really get in the way of the good stuff. The tips of Harry's fingers are just teasing along the waistband of Niall's jeans when Zayn clears his throat.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there are children going on about bored games and snacks." Niall breaks away from the kiss, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Harry look's flustered, lips puffy and wet as he gives Zayn a dazed look.

"Games are in the cupboard under the TV, it's Darcy's turn to pick one. I will sort a snack out." Zayn nods then goes back into the living room. Niall takes Harry's hand tugging him towards the kitchen.

"Come on stud, lets do some of them peanut butter apple slices. I bloody love them." Harry wraps himself around Niall's back as they got to the kitchen, giggling when Niall stumbles over his feet.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The third time it happens its Zayn's fault because this time Niall and Harry did make it to the bedroom. Yet somehow Zayn still managed to walk in as Niall is riding Harry.

"Holy crap. Fuck! Shit sorry." Niall stops with a groan, hands pressed against Harry chest as he looks over his shoulder to glare at Zayn.

Zayn is still stood in the doorway with the house phone in his hand, eyes wide as he stares at Niall's back.

"I had to...um...don't worry. Enjoy." He scrambles out the room, door slamming loudly behind him.

Niall turns back to Harry, who is looking sinfully delicious underneath him. Zayn was missing out by not catching a glimpse of him that's for sure.

"We need to get better at doing this." Harry flips him over, pinning his hand above his head as he starts fucking into him again.

Niall wraps his legs around his waist, pushing down with the heel of his foot to get him to go in deeper, white flashing across his eyes as Harry hits his prostate. Harry kisses him to keep him quite as he twists and jolts under him, hands straining in his grip as the pressure in his stomach grows. Harry moves his lips to Niall's ear, biting gently.

"It's kinda hot that he knows i'm fucking you right now. Do you think it makes him hard? Knowing how I am making you feel, that i'm going to make you come on my cock? Maybe he will come too. Hand wrapped around himself as he thinks about you, taking me so well. Being a good boy for me." Niall gasps, legs tightening around Harry as he starts to come, mouth open in a silent moan as he spills over both their stomachs. Harry's grip on his wrist tightens, pushing him down into the bed more as he give a couple of hard deep thrust before Niall feels the warmth of his come as he pushes into him once more with a loud groan, lips parting, eyes blown.

"Fuck." He falls down on top of Niall, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. Niall brushes his hair out of his face, mattered with sweat.

"I love you." Harry kisses him, open mouthed and sloppy. Perfect.

"Love you too." Harry slowly pulls out of him rolling onto his back. Niall turns onto his side, flinging his leg over Harry's grimacing a little when he feels Harry's come start to leak out.

"Is that a thing then?" Harry doesn't reply, he just tips Niall's chin up pulling him in for another kiss.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The next time Zayn grabs a book and throws it towards Niall's head.

"You know what fuck you two. You have a fucking farm outside and four kids how do you even still have sex all the time!" Niall attempts to look as innocent as possible but he is currently hanging off the bed, legs over Harry's shoulders so he is not sure he pulls it off.

"We have very good planning Zayn. Never been caught until you came along." Zayn glares at him reaching for another book. Niall yells, trying to hide under Harry more as he throws it.

xxxxxxxxxxx

"We are going into town!"

"Are we going to paint it red?" Niall gives Zayn a blank look, grabbing the keys to his truck from the side.

"We are going to the market actually." Zayn laughs bounding over to Niall to get his shoes.

"No shit really? Like a proper countryside market. This is so exciting." Niall rolls his eyes, opening the front door patting his pockets to make sure he has his wallet.

"It's the same as any other market Z, but smaller."

"Are you driving? I have never been in the truck with you before. Should I be worried? What music do you play? Cause some of your music taste is like spot on but then some is like backstreet boys and I will throw myself out the truck." Zayn practically dances around Niall as they walk toward the truck.

"At this rate i'm going to throw you out." Zayn runs ahead of him, middle finger in the air as he yanks open the passenger door and hops in.

Niall's blue pick up truck was a gift from his Dad when he passed his test. Niall totally had a sweet sixteen moment when his Dad and Lisa turned up with it. Never had he felt like such a spoiled princess and loved it.

Niall starts the engine up, Twenty One Pilots playing. Zayn claps his hand as he starts singing along. Niall feels like he has brought one of the kids out with him. Maybe Zayn was starting to get cabin fever not being surrounded by buildings and noise all day.

The Village centre is always busy on market day so it takes Niall a while to find a spot, but as soon as he does Zayn is out the truck like a shot yelling at Niall to hurry up.

Niall takes a moment to watch him. Big grin on his face as he starts to look around. How beautiful he looks kind of slaps Niall in the face.

He looks down at his lap, taking a shaky breath before unbuckling and getting out the truck.

"You alright?" Niall nods at Zayn, motioning at him to start walking.

"So what first? What do we need?"

"Not much, just a few food bits Harry likes me to pick up on market day cause its like fresher or some shit. Jams, fruit and veg. But we can take our time, just walk and browse." Zayn looks happy with this, grabbing Niall's hand and yanking him towards the crowd.

It ends up being the best trip to the market Niall has had for a while. Zayn's face lighting up each time he spots something he likes, always pointing things out to Niall like he has not been here a hundred times already. Niall introduces Zayn to most of the stall owners, and he seems to be charming everyone quite well. He fits and it makes a lump form in Niall's throat when he thinks about going back to doing this without him.

They stop in at the art supply shop for way too long, Zayn loading Niall's arms up with things he apparently must buy. But the grin on his face when he walks out the shop with his bags is enough to make Niall not care about the waiting around.

"You sure are bubbly today." Niall comments, as Zayn stops to look at some pink flowers.

"Why would I not be. These are nice, do you think Harry would like them?" He holds them up to his face, breathing the scent in. Niall struggles to swallow, his belly doing a weird little flip.

"Beautiful." Zayn's eyes flick up to Niall's, the noise around them seeming to dull down to a soft mummer.

"You think?" Niall nods, the grip on the bags in his hand getting tighter.

"Yeah, really beautiful." Zayn lowers the flowers with a smile, turning back to pay for them. He chats happily to the lady as she wraps them then thanks her before grabbing Niall again and pulling him away.

"She said they are a symbol of love. Fits don't it? Cause I love you and Harry like a million." Niall laughs, Zayn yanking him in to walk closer to his side.

"It's really nice here init. I can see why you and Harry are so relaxed and happy. Everyone is just so nice, and there is no rush. I like it, a lot. It's like, its busy and stuff but I feel really calm and not rushed. Am i talking shit?" Niall stares at the side of Zayn face as he talks, the feeling in his belly still there.

"No. I get what you mean." Zayn turns to smile at him before getting distracted again and scuttling off to no doubt spend more money.

Niall ends up spending three more hours out then he normally does which is nice, even though his feet now hurt and Zayn is refusing to rub them now that they are curled up on the sofa resting.

"Go on please." Zayn scowls swatting Niall's foot away from his face.

"No, they smell." Niall gasps, holding his hand to his chest.

"Excuse the shit out of you, my feet do not smell. See." Niall shoves his foot in Zayn face, laughing loudly when his toe hits his nose.

"Niall! Don't be gross. I'm not touching them, get them out of my face you fucking dickhead."

"That is mean." Niall pushes his foot into Zayn's cheek, giggling at the angry look on his face.

"I will snap your toes."

"I can't believe you would even think to do such a thing. You are suppose to love my feet. They belong to me, you love them really." Zayn turns his head suddenly, snapping his teeth. Niall yelps yanking his foot back.

"Oh so you wont touch them but you will bite them you freak."

"You're a freak."

"Nah uh, that is you. Freaky mcfreak pants Malik. Smell my feet." Zayn grabs Niall's ankle, shoving his foot back down on the sofa.

"Stop it."

"Stop it." Zayn scoffs, Niall copying the sound.

"Oh my god Niall, stop."

"Oh my god Niall, stop." Zayn lunges across the sofa, Niall screams curling his legs up to stop Zayn from getting to him.

"No! Get off!" Niall tries to lift him off with his knees but Zayn keep pushing down, laughing at Niall's attempt.

"You are freakishly strong for a skinny bloke."

"Uh I have muscles idiot."

"No you don't." Zayn slaps the side of Niall's head laughing when Niall finally gives up.

"No fair."

"It's called exercise Niall, it makes you strong. You should try it." Zayn's laughter dies down, hand moving down to brush across Niall's hair.

"I miss this. Having fun with you." Niall moves his head into Zayn's hand more, a shiver going down his back when Zayn scrapes his fingers over his scalp.

"Miss you too." Their eyes meet and Niall gets that feeling back in his stomach. He can't work out if he likes it or not. If it's even a good feeling.

Zayn's hand moves from his hair, ghosting over the side of his face, thumb brushing over his bottom lip before sliding down to his neck.

"There is something about you being here. You and Harry." He moves the neck of Niall's top down a little. Niall's breath catches in his throat, hand gripping the side of the sofa as Zayn moves his fingers in circles on his skin.

"Your skin always looks so nice." Niall arches up a little, his legs parting. Zayn slides down, pressing to Niall. They both let out a breath, the weight of Zayn's body on his making his head go a little fuzzy.

Zayn leans down more, hand leaving Niall chest to tug at the bottom of his top lifting it up a little. He spreads his hand over his skin, goosebumps trailing behind his touch. Niall's breath stutters as he leans into the touch more.

"So responsive. Bet I could make you lose it." Niall moves his head back, nose brushing against Zayn's.

He feel hot. So hot all over, his legs shaking by Zayn's waist like they want to move. To wrap around Zayn and bring him closer.

"Sometimes it can be so hard to resist you. When it's been so long." He closes his eyes, hands clenching by Niall's head.

Niall let's go of the sofa, running his hand down Zayn's back until his fingers touch the band of his jeans. He looks down, nose brushing over Zayn's lips as he moves. Niall pushes his hand down, pressing Zayn down into him more. Zayn moves his hand to Niall waist, his name whispered into his hair.

He wants to tell him he does not have to. Don't resist. He would be so willing. So would Harry. He could have them both if he really wanted to.

Niall pops the button on Zayn's jeans and slips his hand under the material, eyes closing as his hand moves over the swell of Zayn's arse.

"Niall, wha-" Zayn cuts off with a small groan when Niall's finger teases around his rim.

Niall is shaking all over, ears ringing loudly as he opens his eyes to look up at Zayn.

He is hard. So hard thinking about what it would be life to push his finger into Zayn, to feel the warm heat around his finger and hear the sounds he could pull from him. He can feel him too, pressed to his leg. He can feel how hard Zayn is.

Their noses brush again. Niall turns his head a little letting out a shaky breath as he pushes his finger down.

The front door bangs open. Niall whips his hand out of Zayn's jeans, Zayn rolling off him and falling to the floor.

Niall sits up grabbing a pillow and shoving it over his lap as Rebecca comes bursting into the room.

"Daddy! You did not hear the bus!" She throws her stuff down, racing out the room again.

Niall can't bring himself to look at Zayn, eyes still on the doorway were Rebecca had been standing.

"Shit." He can hear Zayn moving around, getting to his feet.

"Niall-"

"Don't." Niall closes his eyes, dropping his head into his hands.

They had come so close. He dreads to think what he would have done if the kids had not come home.

Zayn sighs, walking around the sofa.

"Its OK." Niall shakes his head, feeling sick as he looks up at Zayn.

"I was about too... I wanted too. God Zayn. Fuck." Zayn stare burns into the side of his head but he doesn't say anything and after a few seconds he leaves the room.

Niall falls back onto the sofa, digging his palms in his eyes.

"Fucking idiot."

Xxxxxxxxx

"Hey Harry, can I talk to you for a second please?" Harry puts down his pen, pushing his work to the side as Niall sits across from him at the table.

Zayn is upstairs getting the kids ready for bed so Niall figures now is the best time.

"What up babe?" Niall pulls his sleeves down over his hands, twisting the material with his fingers.

"You're probably going to be really angry with me so I'm just going to get this over and done with." Harry looks concerned, nipping his bottom lip between his fingers.

"Today me and Zayn, um we we sort of... I think that we maybe." Niall sighs, curling his hands into fists.  
"I touched Zayn today, like I mean. I had my hands down his trousers and I'm pretty sure I was about to maybe like, finger him. I was going to finger Zayn. It sounds so fucking seedy. Fuck. I am so sorry." When he gets himself to look back up the expression on Harry's face has not changed. He doesn't look angry. Just confused.

"OK." Niall gawps at him, fish mouthing,. Because really? That's all he has to say. Niall has been terrified at the thought of telling Harry and been feeling sick with guilt and Harry just says OK.

"What do you mean OK?" Harry pulls his work back towards him, picking his pen back up.

"I mean OK."

"Harry, why are you not angry?"

"Would you like me to be angry? Want me to shout? Scream in your face? break stuff? Make you leave?"

"No!" Harry shrugs, flicking his pen in his hand.

"Then yeah, OK." Niall is completely baffled. He just told his husband he was about to shove his fingers inside another man and he just says OK?

"Harry. I'm pretty sure I practically cheated on you." Harry laughs, looking done at his papers.

"Its Zayn."

"What?" Harry sighs, dropping his pen.

"Niall, you and Zayn have so much sexual tension that I feel like you both fuck the second you are in a room together. I'm used to it. It's fine. You're my husband not his and I'm pretty confidante that's not going to change. I trust you not to do something you know I really don't want you to do."

"Oh." This really was not what he expected at all.

"Well, I don't plan to do anything. Just so you know."

"OK, cool. Did you remember to get that blackberry jam from Mrs baker?" Niall looks around the kitchen, fully expecting to find he is in the middle of a practical joke.

"Yeah. Yes I got it."

"Thanks. Those flower Zayn brought for me are really pretty." Harry looks up, eyes meeting Niall. There was a heat his state that Niall felt prickle over his skin.

"I must remember to thank him for them." Harry suddenly smiles, eye softening as he goes back to work.

Xxxxxx

It happens again. Of course it happens again. This time Harry just glances at zayn before continuing to fuck into Niall, hand on his throat the other hooked under his leg keeping it in the air. Zayn huffs, arm crossing over his chest. He leans on the wall shaking his head.

"Your in a bloody barn." Harry grunts, head falling down.

"He looks hot feeding animals." Niall moans, head flopping to the side as he looks over at Zayn.

"I'd say he looks hot most the time. Hold him tighter." Harry looks over to him, movement slowing a little making Niall whimper. Zayn raises one hand on the air, fingers curling like he is gripping something. Harry tightens his hand around Niall's neck making him gasp for air, hands clawing at the hard surface beneath him, pushing up against Harry's hand for more. Zayn bites down on his lips, eyes travelling over them once more then turns and leaves.

Harry looks down at Niall, thrusting into him hard enough to send his body jolting up.

"You thinking about him?" Niall closes his eyes, red spots dancing around behind his lids as he gives one short nod. Harry squeezes his neck harder and if Niall was capable he was sure he would have screamed as his orgasm suddenly washed over him.

Xxxxx

"Are you coming to our music concert uncle Zayn?" Jackson puts his foot on Zayn's knee for him to help tie his laces, lunchbox clutched in his hand.

"I certainly am buddy. Wouldn't miss you and your sisters singing for anything." Niall smiles to himself as he listens to Zayn and Jackson talk to each other. Willow is rushing around behind him, a slice of toast hanging between her teeth.

"You coming home for dinner?"

"Yeah, should be." Niall rolls his eyes, why can't teenagers just answer properly.

"I need a yes or a no not a should be. I don't put food on the table for a should be." Willow takes her bag off the table shooting him an annoyed look.

"Yes. That was a yes. I'm not coming straight home because I've got this thing but i will be back for dinner."

"What's this thing?" Niall turns to face her, arms crossing over his chest.

She is wearing her hair up today and it makes her look so much younger. Sometimes he can understand why the thought of Willow with boys can make Harry lose it.

"Its just a thing." Niall misses when Willow used to actually enjoy telling him what she was doing with her friends. He misses being cool to her and not just a lame dad.

"OK, be all mysterious."

"I'm not being mysterious Niall, I don't have to tell you everything. Jeez you wanna just head up to my room and read my diary."

"Might do now I know you have one. Probably be boring though. Omg, today I broke a nail." Willow throws the last of her toast at his head.

"More exciting then yours I bet." Niall laughs.

"Trust me love, that is not true."

"You are disgusting and annoying and I need to go."

"Love you."

"Yeah love you too. Bye Zayn, bye small person." Willow swoops down to kiss Jackson head and Zayn's cheek before rushing out the kitchen, shouting another bye to the twins before leaving the house.

"Jackson, bus is going to be here soon. Daddy is outside waiting for you." Jackson hops up giving Zayn a hug before going over to Niall to kiss him goodbye.

Zayn stands up ruffling Jackson hair as he runs off.

"That kid is great man."

"Hes alright I guess. You hear from Rae and Elliott?" Zayn pulls a box of cigarettes out of his hoodie pocket, leaning on the worktop next to Niall.

"Yeah, they seem to be having a good time so that's good. Rae was really exited that she got to go on a plane. Said the hotel is nice and Elliott is just happy he gets to swim all day." Zayn's face lights up at he talks about them.

"You must miss them. You doing OK?" Zayn pulls a cigarette out of the box, tapping it on the lid.

"Miss them loads, I just feel shitty that they are off making these memories and I'm not a part of it. Thought I would be used to it by now, it's not the first time Matt has taken them away. Still feels really strange though." Niall can't imagine how he would feel if his kids went away for so long without him. To not be there for them everyday.

"Has he taken them on his own?"

"No, his parents went too. Which is nice for the kids."

"So he hasn't like, been dating anyone?" Zayn pushes away from the worktop, snatching Niall's lighter off the side.

"How would I know? Not exactly going to ask him where he is sticking his dick am I?" Niall watches him closely as he zips up his hoodie and slips into Harry's shoes that had been left by the back door. Obviously mentioning Matt dating had hit a nerve.

"How would you feel?If he had been dating." Zayn yanks the back door open, pulling his hood over his head.

"Nothing. I would feel nothing. He can do what he wants and so can I. We ain't anything to each other anymore are we. Just fucking pass the kids back and forward and that's it. Barely had a conversation with him for the past five bloody years. Why are you even asking me that?"

"Sorry, didn't mean to hit a nerve."

"You didn't. I don't care what he does, there is no nerve to hit. He can date and fuck who he wants. So could I"

"Then why won't you?" Zayn puts his cigarette between his lips, waving his hand in Niall direction.

"Let's just stop this conversation now. I'm going to smoke then shower and then I'm just gonna chill outside with my paints. You OK with me doing that? Give you and Harry some time."

"Course I'm fine with that, you can do whatever you want."

Harry comes back inside while Zayn is in the shower. He is happily humming to himself as he put the kettle on and start making himself a drink.

"He is not anywhere close to being over him." Harry stops humming, turning to face Niall, eyebrows furrowed.

"Who is not close to being over who?" Niall places his hand down on the table, looking at his wedding ring.

"Zayn, with Matt. He still loves him just like he did the day they got married. Can you imagine that? Cause I can't.. The pain I would feel if I went years without you while loving you like I do now. He must be so sad Harry. It must hurt all the time." Niall throat goes tight, tears welling up in his eyes. Harry drops the spoon he was holding, rushing over to kneel by Niall, hands pushing trough his hair.

"Baby, oh love don't cry. He won't be like this forever, it will get better." Niall wipes at his face, trying to blink away the tears before the fall but failing miserably.

"We always say that though. That it will get easier for him but it's not and he just never moves on. I want to help him Harry and I don't know how. I just want to make him really happy again. I don't want him to be heartbroken anymore. I want him to have what we have, he deserve it so much." Harry pulls Niall into his chest for a hug, holding him tightly.

"We will find a way love. We can help him." Harry lifts Niall's face up to look at him, brushing away his tears with his thumb. The shower switches off upstairs, Zayn soft footsteps moving across the hall. Harry looks up at the ceiling letting out a breath.

"We will do whatever we need to do to give him everything." Harry presses a kiss to Niall's lips, keeping them there as he speaks.  
"Whatever it is. Whatever you want to give him we will give him. I want him to be happy too. I love him just like you do."

Xxxxxxxx

Niall looks down at Zayn from his bedroom window. He had been sat outside for hours, hunched over a canvas, cigarette between his lips painting away.

Harry kept going outside, silently replacing his empty mugs with full steaming ones, emptying the ashtray. Sometimes leaving without a sound, other time stopping to place a kiss to his head.

Niall was worried. The more time spent with Zayn the more he worried.

He was glad he had more then a few days with him this time. Maybe he could work out what to do for him.

Harry comes into the bedroom, slipping off his jumper and throwing it on the bed before going into the bathroom.

Niall looks back down at Zayn, watching as he switches his canvas over for a new one. How long was he going to be out there?  
Niall steps back, thinking about going out to check on Zayn, he backs into Harry jumping a little.

"Sorry, didn't know you where there sneaky." Harry laugh quietly, nosing as the side of Niall's neck, hands spreading over his stomach.

Niall relaxes back into Harry's chest, enjoying the tickle of his breath over his neck and the feel of his lips brushing over his skin as he kisses just below his ear sending goosebumps down his arms.

"S'nice." Niall tilts his head, eyes fluttering closed as Harry kisses at his neck harder, tongue licking over the sensitive skin, teeth nibbling slightly.

Niall tangles his hand in the back of Harry's hair, pushing his face into his neck more, moaning quietly as Harry's kiss grows more frantic, his dick starting to thicken up in his jogging bottoms.

Him and Harry had been fucking a lot more since Zayn arrived. It had always been like that when he came to visit. Harry turning a little more possessive over Niall then normal. It was different this time. Harry seemed to be feeding off the tension between Niall and Zayn. Enjoying the attraction that Niall has admitted to having towards Zayn.  
Niall even thinks Harry has enjoyed Zayn walking in on them having sex a bit too much. That he wants Niall to want Zayn.

Harry's hand slips into Niall's trousers, gripping his hard dick, already dripping with pre-cum. He nudges Niall forward suddenly, Niall gasps, hand releasing Harry and slamming against the window the steady himself.

He looks down at Zayn to see if he had been disturbed by the noise but he was still bent over his canvas completely oblivious. Harry wiggles Niall's bottom down just enough to release his dick, taking it back into into his fist, slowly moving up and down. Niall judders, head falling forward the sight of Harry's hand wrapped around him making him moan. He loved Harry's hands. Even more so when they were around his dick.

Harry puts his free hand into the back of Niall's hair, yanking his head back a little.

"Want you to look at him." Niall whimpers, eyes going back to Zayn. Harry swipes his thumb across Niall's slit, gathering more pre-cum before suddenly speeding up his movements, jerking Niall hard and fast.

Niall turns to kiss him but Harry shakes his head.

"I want you to look at him." Niall hesitates, but Harry looks serious so he turns back to Zayn.  
"I want you to think about him. Think about him-" Harry groans, pushing his face into Niall's shoulder before lifting it back up moving his lips to Niall's ear.  
"Think about him kissing you, touching you. How he would feel pushing into you, fucking you." Niall pants loudly, chest heaving as Harry keeps moving over his dick so quickly Niall can barely catch his breath.

"You think about it don't you? Think about him fucking you. I think about it. I would let him you know. I would let him take you, do what he wants with you. Then when he was done I would take him." Niall moans, hips starting to rock into Harry fist.

Zayn stands up suddenly, stretching his arms above his head before rubbing at his neck.

"I'd fuck his mouth. Come down his throat, then fuck him until he was begging for me to let him come too." Niall's eyes flutter close, his head falling back onto Harry's shoulder.

He was so wet and so hard, Harry hand felt almost too good working over him, spreading the wetness down his dick making Niall feel messy and hot. He felt heavy, pushing back into Harry more, his head buzzing with how good it felt and the pictures Harry was putting into his mind.

He could see it so clearly. Zayn spread out for Harry. How good he would look on all fours, the curve of his back and the swell of his arse as Harry fucked onto him. Or Zayn straddling Harry, sinking himself down onto his cock, face flushed as he worked for it.

"Maybe I would make him wait. Have him wait as I opened you up, then he could use you, come inside you. Would you like that? Feeling yourself stretched around him. Feel his come fill you up?" Niall cries out Harry's name as he comes long and hard into Harry's hand, dripping down onto his trousers. Harry steps back, taking Niall with him and carefully lays him on the bed.

He removes Niall's trousers, throwing them to the side before tugging down his own jeans.

He wanks himself quickly, moaning Niall's name as he spills over him, come hitting his softening dick and stomach.

Harry slows his hand, lips parted as he looks down at Niall.

He bends down kissing Niall deep and dirty. His had still moving slowly over himself.

"Can I fuck you?" The question has Niall cock twitching against his stomach.  
"Please." Harry flips him into his front, come smearing between Niall and the sheets.  
"You are my dream you know. My dream Niall." He kisses the words into a Niall's back. Niall searches for his hand, suddenly feeling emotional as their fingers link.  
"I know. You aremine too."

Xxxxxxxx

One of the best things about living where they do is being closer to Harry's family.

Niall loves his kids. They are the best part of his life, but he bloody loves waving them off to go spend the weekend with Gemma.

"Why do we look so happy? Man I'm missing out on two days with the little spuds." Niall pats Zayn on the shoulder.

"You will be happy for it when you're not being woken up at five am by three kids diving on your nuts."

Niall is scooped up by Harry as soon as he steps back into the house, laughing as he carries him up the stairs.

"Hey, we can't just abandon Zayn." Harry kicks the bedroom door open, playfully biting down on Niall chin before throwing him down onto the bed. Niall laughs as he bounces on the mattress Harry bending down to pull off his socks.

"We have forty eight hours of child free time. Zayn will understand."

"Harry! He is our guest." Harry ignored him, wiggling out of his jeans and boxers before yanking his shirt off.

"Well he can my guest and come enjoy the show if he gets bored." Harry raises his voice, Niall laughing and shushing him.

"Oi, less shushing me and more getting naked." Niall quickly strips down, pulling Harry down once he is completely naked.

He opens Niall up slowly, licking around his fingers as he stretches him.

"I'm ready, I'm ready. Please." Harry sits up on his knees, wiping at his mouth before flipping Niall onto his stomach and pushing into him.

Niall pushes his hips up, pushing Harry deeper into him both of them moaning at the feeling.

Harry waits for Niall to adjust a bit more, gripping onto his hips as he starts to move.

Zayn comes into the room quietly, pushing the door closed. He moves a pile of clothes of the wicker chair in the corner of the room then sits down, crossing one leg over the other.

Harry falters for a second, before reaching for Niall's hair, pulling hard. Niall moans, hands gripping onto the bed sheets, eyes looking straight into Zayns.

They keep eye contact the whole time Harry is slamming into him, quick hard movements that shake through Niall punching small little moans from him.

Zayn's eyes on him, his attention fully focused on him adds another layer of pleasure to the moment. It's so intense and sexy, Niall can now understand why Zayn liked being watched so much.

Zayn sits so still, the only signs that watching them is having an effect on him is the whiteness to his knuckles as he grips the arm of the chair.

Harry's movements start to get sloppy, his grip on Niall's hip tightening as he get closer to coming.

"Fuck Niall." He feels Harry coming in him and it topples him over the edge, sobbing as he shots over the bed, eyes never leaving Zayn's.

Harry pulls out, kissing over Niall's back as he runs his finger around Niall's sensitive hole.

Zayn gets up, erection pushing at his trousers as he leaves the room.

Niall and Harry stay quite, wrapped around each other as they come down.

A few moments later Zayn's moan fills the silence. Harry runs his hand up Niall side, kissing his temple.

"Fuck."

"Yeah. Fuck."

Xxxxxxxxxx

Niall is aimlessly flicking through the TV channels, eyes drooping as Harry run his fingertips over his arm.

Not having the kids at home always makes Niall feel a little brain dead. Which in some ways is nice because it means he can fully switch off and relax but also its boring.

He gives up on finding something to watch and presses the Netflix button. They had been really into Orange is the new black at the moment so maybe that would wake them up a little.

He could hear Zayn in the kitchen, talking on the phone to Rae and Elliott. Judging from the small snippets he had heard they where still having a good time.

Niall clicks on the episode they had to watch next then throws the control back on the table wiggling around to get more comfortable on Harry's lap.

Its about fifteen minutes into the episode that Niall notices Zayn's voice getting a little tense. He lifts his head up straining his ears to listen more.

"No... I don't want to just-will you let me talk." Niall rolls of Harry's lap, walking over to the doorway to peak down the hall towards the kitchen. He can see Zayn pacing, hand pushing through his hair.

"Its not really any to do with you- no that's not fair and you know it-oh come on Matt, that's not even true." Niall frowns, hating how worked up Zayn was getting after having such a nice talk with the kids.

"Listen, I'm not talking about this now. Not when the kids can hear you-I know and it's the same for me, it's like that for me to- it's not my fault, I can't fucking change it- just, fuck you OK. You fucking done this." Zayn hangs up, slamming his phone down on the side.

Niall jumps as Harry wraps his arms around his waist, chin resting on his shoulder as he looks towards the kitchen.

Zayn rubs at his face, signing loudly before taking his cigarettes off the side, going out the back door.

Niall turns, Harry giving him a sad look before pulling him in for a hug.

Xxxxxx

The next time they have sex Zayn doesn't make an appearance. Niall is disappointed and if the small frown on Harry's face and the way he keeps looking at the door, and the way he man handles Niall to pull noise out of him is anything to go by, then he is disappointed too.

Xxxxxxxx

"Daddy can you help me with my maths please?" Rebecca holds out her maths textbooks, can of coke in her other hand.

"Yeah sure. You wanna swap the can for some water first?" She huffs but scurry's off to do as she is told.

Niall spends the next hour helping Rebecca and Darcy with homework while Zayn lounges in the corner of the room with a book.

His phone beeps a couple of times and he checks it before frowning and putting it back down.

"Everything OK?" Zayn nods, turning the page of his book.

"Yeah. Liam just set me up this dating website and I keep getting messages. Not interested though."

"Why not?"

"M'not ready. You know that." Niall just gives him a look that says they will talk about it later away from small ears.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

"You really against dating then?" Niall and Zayn are outside, leaning against the fence watching the cows munch on grass while they both smoke.

"Yeah. Just can't be arsed. I'm happy to just focus on the kids."

"You don't get lonely? I don't want you to be lonely Z, I worry about you."

"I'm not lonely. Liam is over a lot, and Lou and Cass. My parents are about a bit too."

"You don't even want to like, hook up with people?" Zayn looks straight ahead, cigarettes held loosely between his fingers.

"Nope."

"So you really haven't been with anyone for six years?"

"Nope."

"Not even a kiss?"

"Nope."

"Jesus. You miss it?" Zayn looks like he is thinking about it before he answers.

"Kinda. I mean it's not like I'm not getting my rocks off. I'm pretty well acquainted with my right hand, I know how to use my fingers and I got my toys." Niall swallows, let's out a breath and rocks back on his feet. That was a lot to suddenly visualise.  
"But... I think I miss being watched. Like when we used to go out and pick someone. I needed that sometimes. To just be looked at."

"Is that why, with me and Harry? Is that why you came in and watched?" It's the first time they have really acknowledged that it's something that happened. Zayn looks at Niall flicking his cigarettes to the floor.

"Thought maybe watching would give me the same feeling."

"Did it?"

"No. Just made me feel jittery. Itchy. Ended up needing it more. Still enjoyed it. You look really good together. "

"Yeah? I'm sorry it didn't help"

"Maybe I should be like a fucking camboy or something."

"Maybe. Or maybe next time you watch me and Harry you could like... touch yourself during. I will watch you."

"You would?"

"Yep." Niall stubs out his cigarette, throwing it down next to Zayn's.

"Something to think about anyway" Niall goes back inside. Zayn doesn't join them in the lounge for another hour.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"What this concert even to do with?" Zayn looks around the schools main hall, frowning when one of the mums waggles her finger at him.

"They just do one every couple of months. It's cute. Jackson bloody loves them, he is going to be a entertainer that one." Harry comes rushing in, sitting next to Zayn.

"Sorry. I was here on time I promise but I got talking to Mrs Taylor and that woman does not shut up." Niall leans around Zayn to pass Harry a programme.

"Jackson has a solo, the twins are singing together with this other girl. Just to warn you Z, the girls can't sing. It's awful and they will be looking right at you so don't laugh."

"Great, now I'm going to laugh." The lights start to dim, Harry excitedly patting Zayn's leg. Harry was probably the only parent who still got excited by these things.

The first song is sung by the whole school and Niall can tell Zayn is bored straight away. He is terrible at sitting through his own kids school stuff let alone other people's.

"That mum keeps smiling at me. She is undressing me with her eyes." Zayn leans his head close to Niall's so he can hear the whisper. His breath skims over Niall's neck, making him shift in his seat.

"Everyone undresses you with their eyes." Zayn laughs quietly, sitting back up straight.

The twins are up next, the girl who steps forward with them looks tiny and timid, there is no chance she is going to be heard over Rebecca and Darcy. The music starts and Niall trains his face into his well practised proud Dad look. Which he is of course.

They start singing and Zayn snorts so loudly people in the rows in front of them turn to look. Zayn slides down his chair, pulling his top up over his mouth. Niall has to bite his lip to keep from laughing with him.

"Oh god, they are definitely adopted." Harry hand smacks Zayn across the shoulder making him cower into Niall.

"Ouch arsehole." Someone shushes them, Zayn glares around him rubbing at his shoulder waiting until the attention is gone before quickly moving to nip Harry's leg. Harry yelps jumping in his seat. Niall splutter out a laugh, hand slapping over his mouth to try and stay quite.

"Mr Styles." Niall jumps as Jackson's teacher leans down by his side. "Could your party please keep it down." Niall gives her an apologetic smile.

Zayn nudges him, waggling his eyebrows.

Jackson's solo goes a lot better then the twins, Harry clapping loudly when he finish with an over the top bow. If that child didn't become a clown Niall will honestly be shocked.

"This is boring."

"You didn't have to come." Zayn screws his face up mocking Harry.

"Do they have snacks? "

"No Zayn, you five year old, they do not have snacks."

"God you're such a Grandad." Harry huffs, smoothing down his top.

"I actually am a grandad so I am not even slightly offended by that." Zayn's head whips round to Niall.

"You have sex with a Grandad." Niall shrugs, fanning his face with the programme in his hand.

"Don't even pretend like you don't wanna have sex with that Grandad."

"It sounds really bad when you say it like that"

"Like what? Sex with a Grandad. You want to have sex with a Grandad. You want a grandad penis. You want-"

"Mr Styles! Please." Zayn tunes to Jackson's teacher with a scowl.

"Shh. There are children singing have some respect woman." Harry covers his face with a groan.

Niall and Zayn settle down after that, Niall avoiding looking at Zayn knowing it will set him off laughing again.

At some point Zayn's hand slips into Niall's and really it's all quite nice. Niall once again feels the weight of Zayn eventually leaving twisting his insides.

Once all the kids have sang something they all trail out of the hall to go wait in the corridor for them to come out of their classrooms.

"I need a wee." Niall slips away from Harry and Zayn, going into the staff bathroom to do his business.

He steps out, wiping his hand on his jeans and smiling at one of the Dads as they go past. Harry and Zayn are waiting a little way up the corridor, Zayn leaning into Harry finger playing with the collar of Harry's shirt as he talks. Niall smirks to himself, knowing exactly what Zayn was doing and holds back for a bit to give him a little more time.

He had no idea if Harry would actually be alright with what Niall suggested to Zayn last night. He had been fine with Zayn watching them the other day, and was getting off on talking about Zayn to Niall.

He couldn't see a reason why Harry would not want to take it a little step further.  
Even if what Harry had been saying to Niall was just fantasy talk, Zayn wasn't asking to actually touch Niall. He wanted to touch himself knowing he was being looked at.

Zayn tugged at Harry's shirt, cheeks going red as he looks down. A few of the parents around them were casting them funny looks so Niall walked towards then, hand placed on Harry's back as he steps between them.

"Kids shouldn't be much longer. I'm starving."

Jackson comes out of his classroom first, beaming as some of the adults congratulate him on his solo. The twins are close behind, bags trailing on the floor

"Uncle Zayn did you hear us sing?"

"I did and it was beautiful, like two angles. Enjoyed every second, was not terrible at all" Harry shakes his head, helping the girls get their bags on properly.

"What about me uncle Zayn?" Zayn bends down, tucking his arm around Jackson.

"You my little man are something special. You going to be a rock star?" Jackson giggles as Zayn stands up with him, resting him on his hip.

"That sounds fun! Do I need to go to school for that?"

"No way. School is for loser like your big brother."

"Zayn!" Harry shouts as loud as he is willing to in public teeth gritted as he glares at Zayn.

"You know Jackson, I have a nickname for your brother and I think it's time to teach you."

"I swear to god Zayn, I will kick you so hard."

Xxxxxxx

Harry follows the sound of music, finding Zayn sitting out on the porch, his guitar in Zayn's lap as he quietly sang to himself. Harry steps out, slowly walking over to him.

"Dinner's ready." Zayn stops playing, looking up at Harry.  
"OK, now coming." Harry goes to walk off but Zayn reaches out wrapping his arms around his wrist to stop him.

"Hey um, me and Niall talked about something last night. Did he mention it to you?"

"No." Zayn looks nervous. Releasing Harry's wrist as he looks down at lap, finger tapping against the guitar.

"You can tell me love. If you want to." Zayn looks back up at him and there is a look in his eyes that let's Harry know that this is important. If its important to Zayn then it's important to Niall, obviously that makes it important to Harry.

"Well, we were talking about like... I don't really know how to say it. We started talking about me not dating and if I missed being with someone and I said that I miss being watched." Harry nods to let him know he was with him.  
"OK. And?" Zayn clears his throat, shuffling in the chair.

"He said, he suggested that I could be there again when you and him have sex. That he could watch me... You could both watch me while i-" he cuts off, flushing red as he looks away from Harry.

Harry crouches done, cupping Zayn's cheek to turn his face back towards him.

"This is something you need?"

"Being watched is something that I need yes. I wouldn't touch him, I promise. Just myself. I just need you to watch. If you are OK with it." Zayn turns his face into Harry's hand more, letting out a shaky breath.

"Tonight?" Zayn relaxes, lips pressed to Harry palm.  
"Please."  
"OK. Now come on, lets go eat." Zayn let's Harry pull him up, carefully placing his guitar down.

"You won't touch him." Zayn links his fingers with Harry stepping closer to him.  
"Not without your permission no."  
"Good. That's good."

Xxxxxxxx

Its takes Niall a little bit of time to relax. Harry slowly undressing him and kissing across his skin. Niall tired to focus on that, Harry's red lips against his pale skin, and not on Zayn who was walking slowly around the room.

When he told them to act like he was not there to begin with it sounded a lot easier then it actual was.

Zayn's presence was like a blanket over Niall. Thick, suffocating.

It was different then when he just walked in on them before. Niall had too much time to think this time. To much time to let the feeling settle in his stomach, to overthink.

He was going to see Zayn.

"He's not relaxing." A flash of annoyance crosses Harry's face at Zayn telling him what he already knows.

"Can you sit down Maybe Z? All I can focus on is you moving around." Zayn moves over to the chair, sitting down slowly.

Harry goes back to kissing Niall, working down his body fingers hooking into his boxers.

He suddenly panics that this is not going to work. That he won't be able to relax enough to be able to do this and he won't be able to help Zayn.

Harry pulls his boxers down, sitting up and moving back to drag them down his legs.

Zayn's breath hitches and when Niall looks over he is looking at Niall, hand pushing down into his lap.

Harry takes Niall in his hand, pumping him a few times before bending down, wrapping his lips around him. Niall's eyes flutter closed, hand tangling in Harry's hair and pulling slightly as he takes him into his mouth more, tongue licking and tasting as he bobs his head. Niall lifts his knees up, feet dragging against Harry's side as he gentle pushes his head down more. Harry takes him easily, gripping harder at his hips as he opens his mouth more. He gags a little and the sound is followed by a soft moan from Zayn.

Niall turns his head towards him. He is still slowly rubbing at himself over his trousers, legs parted wide as his hips ever so slightly rock into his hand.

Harry pulls off with a wet snack, kissing the top of Niall's dick before crawling up his body to kiss him.

Niall moans into the kiss, Harry's lips puffy and wet with his taste. Harry shifts a little, not braking the kiss as he leans over for the bottle of lube in Niall's draws.

Zayn stands and pulls his trousers down as Niall is being opened up, hands pulling at Harry as he gasps and moans into his mouth eyes stuck on Zayn as he moves about. Niall can see the outline of his dick in his boxers, his breathing picking up at the thought of Zayn wrapping his hand around it. Getting off because of him.

Harry removes his fingers, wiping them on the bed before grabbing the lube again to coat himself.

"Hey, you OK?" Niall focuses back on Harry, lips parted as his breath comes out in puffs.

"Yeah, I'm good. You good?" Harry strokes a hand across Niall's face, the other reaching down to position himself.

"I'm good baby." Niall gasps, finger clawing at Harry's back as he slowly pushes into him. Niall's breath get stuck in his throat as he stretches around him, his body adjusting to taking him in.

He can still see Zayn out the corner of his eye, boxers now down around his knees as he slowly fists at his cock. He can't look yet, has to take a moment to settle his breathing until he no longer feels like he is drowning.

Ones his mind feels a little clearer he nods to Harry then turns to face Zayn.

They both moan at the same time, Harry rocking into Niall quickly.

It's not hard to watch Zayn. He looks so beautiful, so caught up in the moment.  
The way he eyes flutter closed before he forces them open again.  
His lips parting in small gasps before clenching shut to quite himself down.  
The muscles in his arms tensing and straining as he quickens his pace, grips himself tighter. His eyes flicker about a lot. Over Harry then over Niall, taking them both in but always ending up directly on Niall's face.  
The want to kiss him is so strong Niall has to dig his feet into the bed, grip Harry a little tighter.

Zayn is the first to come and Niall watches as he spills over his hand, creamy white liquid hitting his stomach and dripping down over his cock. He doesn't stop his movements, just slumps back into the chair hand lazily moving.

He looks the most relaxed Niall has seen him since he arrived and it sends a burst of pride through him that he helped give Zayn what he needed.

Niall turns back to Harry, lips captured in a kiss as soon as he faces him. Niall holds on to him, the knot in his stomach getting tighter and tighter as Harry sloppily fucks into him.

They come together, moans muffled by kisses as Niall shots over their stomach and Harry fills him up.

Harry gently keeps fucking Niall until his body goes limp onto the bed, arms and legs dropping from around him.

His ears a ringing, his legs shaking and Harry is cleaning him up and slipping a clean pair of boxers up his legs for him.

Zayn is getting up, stumbling slightly as he makes his way towards the door. Niall let's out a whine, reaching out for him. Harry wraps an arm around Zayn's waist whispering something Niall can't hear. Zayn whispers back then is walking towards the bed climbing in next to Niall.

Harry joins them shortly after, wiggling against Niall's back and Zayn tucks into his front.

"Love you." Niall smiles as Harry kisses the back of his neck, hand resting on his hip.

"Love you too." He falls asleep, tangled up in Harry with Zayn's fingers softly moving through his hair and quite 'thank you' whispered in the dark.

Xxxxxx

When Niall wakes up he can no longer feel Harry pressed to his back. Zayn is already awake, propped up on his elbows watching Niall as he slowly blinks his eyes open and stretches his body out with a groan.

"Morning." Niall makes a muffled sound in reply, sighing when Zayn's hand comes down to rub at his back.

Niall has that pleasant ache to his bum that he really enjoys, Zayn's hand running in smooth circles just above it making his dick start to thicken up.

"Thank you for last night, hope you don't feel weird about it." Niall turns onto his front, Zayn's hand dragging over his hips and across his stomach as he rolls. The blanket slips down to the top of his boxers, is he gets any harder it will be pretty obvious.

"Course I don't. You looked beautiful." Zayn blushes, hand pressing down harder on his stomach.

"You think?" Niall scoffed, rubbing at his eyes.  
"Always think you're beautiful don't I, do you feel better?" Zayn hand skims lower, just a quick movement that had Niall's breath hitching and his dick twitching.

"I do. Loved having your eyes on me." Niall hums in reply rubbing at his eyes again. Waking up was the worst. Zayn always looks unfairly attractive first thing in the morning. Bad breath didn't seem to be a thing for him, other then the slight smell of stale cigarettes but even then that was so Zayn is was good, messy hair obviously suited him and he just always looked like he had already been awake from hours.

Niall was all dried drool and pillow creases and bird nest hair and croaky voiced and just generally a mess.

Zayn was an alien. It answered most of Niall questions about him. A cute little alien from a cute little planet that he gets to keep.

"Do you know how good you look while being fucked?" Niall laughs, trying to ignore the flutter in his stomach that was following Zayn's hand around like a magnet.

"I have actually seen myself a few times so yes, I do know. Fucking majestic me." Zayn rolls his eyes, falling down onto his back. Niall tries not to pout at the lose of his touch but fails.

"I want to kiss you." Niall heart slams, a hot shiver tickles up his body.

"It's really hard sometime to not do it. Like fuck the consequences." Niall doesn't say anything, just lays still, the heat from Zayn's body rolling over him.

"Maybe he won't actually mind. He knows you are his. Maybe he won't mind." Niall closes his eyes and shakes his head, fist curling up at his sides.

"He said-" Niall swallows, shaking his head again. "He said no touching." Zayn leans back up, the top half of his body looming over Niall.  
Niall takes a deep breath, trying to steady his thoughts but it just makes his head go more cloudy.

"But he might not mind. Not if he is there. I just want to kiss you." The air around them feels charged. Hot with what they both want. What Zayn can't take and Niall can't give him.

Zayn kicks the blanket down. Niall's legs fall apart, erection pushing against his boxers tenting the loose fabric.

Zayn;s hand hovers near him, close enough that Niall can almost feel his touch. He pushes his hips down into the bed, eyes flashing white for a second.

"You want me to touch you. He doesn't but you do." Niall gulps on a breath, trying to focus on not bucking his hips up so he can brush against Zayn's hand.

"I can't."

"It's your body."

"Its his too." Niall groans rolling onto his side, Zayn's hand brushing across his hips.

"I love you." Niall gets off the bed, adjusting himself in his boxers as he puts some space between them.

This is not good. Its getting so hard to not give in. Zayn still had a little over a week left here and Niall is already feeling weak around him. Has already come so close once to letting himself do what he wants.

He was lucky that he had Harry. Someone so understanding they they didn't mind the tension between him and Zayn. Didn't mind that the line had nearly been crossed before. But if Niall actually took that step, let himself have it just once, just a little, well then he had no idea what that would do to him and Harry.

What he had with Harry was so much more then the sexual attraction he had to Zayn. He didn't even compare.

Zayn watched him silently as he gets dressed. Grabbing whatever he can find from the floor, which ends up being a perfect mix of himself, Harry and Zayn. Of course.

He's waiting for his head to clear, for something other then Zayn to be his focus before he speaks next. He needs to find a way to put Zayn back into his place without looking like a dick.

"Is that Harry?"

"Huh?" Zayn puts his hands to his lips to shush Niall, sitting upright in bed.

Niall opens the bedroom door, sighing when he hears Willow and Harry arguing.

"Jesus Christ. What time is it?"

"Four?"

"Why the hell are they arguing at four in the bloody morning." Niall goes down the stairs, following the raised voices into the living room.

Dougie is sat in the hallway tail tucked in and ears down. Niall tuts bending down to nuzzle into his neck, hand smoothing down his back.

"We got ourselves a grumpy teen again boy?" Niall kisses his furry head before standing back up to go into the room.

Willow is standing away from Harry, arms crossed over her chest face screwed up in anger.

"What is going on? You're going to wake the kids." Willow unfolds her arms to jab her finger towards Harry.

"He is treating me like I'm a baby. I'm fed up with him questioning everything I do." Harry turns to Niall, face red.

"I came down to get a glass of water and caught her sneaking back in." Niall takes a deep breath. Admittedly, he wants to yell, but that is not going to help the situation at all. Willow and Harry clashed too much at the moment and Niall stepping in and getting angry too will just make it all explode more.

"You are supposed to tell us what time you are staying out till Wills. We thought you were in your room."

"I am an adult." Niall shrugs, holding his hands up.

"You are love, but part of being an adult is knowing the right thing to do. You should know that if you are going to to be out all night you have to let us know. Otherwise we will worry. We need to know you are safe."

"I don't have to tell you everything I do." Harry rubs at his face, he looks tired and they should still be in bed. The thought makes Niall's shoulder feel heavy.

"We don't need to know everything, but if we don't know where you are or how long you plan to be there how can we know when you need help. If something happens we need to know if we have to get to you. Plus Willow-" Niall walks over to her, standing right in front of her so he can catch her eye.

"You are under our care, if something happens and it's bad then you we could lose you. You're not eighteen yet, they will take you away. You understand that right? If they don't think we are taking proper care of you. Slip ups are OK, some stuff could be too big." Willow sighs, looking up at the ceiling.

"I don't know what you think I'm off doing but its pretty normal teenager stuff OK. And sometimes teenage stuff really sucks and we like to just have some fun."

"I get that. But even when I was halfway across the world to my dad I let him know were I was and how long for. Because I didn't need him tuning the TV on to the news about some attack or some type of disaster and not know if I was right in the middle of it. And if I was having a crap time and wanted to not talk I made sure he knew my schedule ahead of time so he didn't worry when I vanished for a bit. He always knew Willow. We don't need to know about what you are doing but please let us know where you are and when you are coming home. We're not asking for much. Also, you can talk to us about the sucky stuff. We have been through the sucky teenager stuff too." Willow lowers her head back down, she still looks angry and Niall knows his words have gone in one ear and right out the other. He steps back motioning towards the stairs.

"Just go get some sleep. You are not leaving this house until collage tomorrow."

"What like I'm grounded? You can't ground me." Niall levels her with a hard stare.

"I just did. Learn the lesson Willow, now go. And be quite I don't want the others up." Niall waits until her footsteps fade before turning to Harry.

"I didn't have all this with Liam you know." Niall laughs walking over to him to give him a hug.

"No, you had it with me instead." Harry chuckles into Niall's hair.

"That's true. Never knew if I should parent you or fuck you. Was a confusing time."

"You are a idiot. Obviously fuck me, should have been that every time. Now what are the chances of us actually going to sleep now?" Harry drops his head onto Niall's shoulder.

"None. Is Zayn awake?"

"Yep. Wanna make some food and go eat in bed. Enjoy the peace before the hurricanes wake up?"

They cut up some fruit and toast some bread before quietly going back to the bedroom.

Zayn is sitting up when they go back in, playing around on his phone.  
His eyes flick up when he hears the door open.

"Everything OK?" Niall places the plates on the bed, carefully climbing on after Harry to settle between his legs.

"Yeah, maybe? I don't know what's been going on with her lately. Something is obvious bugging her and she does not want to talk to us about it. Which makes me worry that its a really bad thing." Zayn slides the plate of fruit closer to himself picking up a piece of apple.

"I doubt it's that bad. She would come to you if it is. Maybe it's girl stuff. Girls don't like talking to Dad's about girl stuff. Why don't you get River to talk to her, just to check in." Zayn bites into the apple slice, a bit of juice dripping onto his bare chest. Niall stares at it, thinks about cleaning it up with his mouth then flops back into Harry's chest with a pout.

"Maybe. Seventeen just seems so young suddenly. It didn't when we were seventeen. She is a baby still." Harry runs his hands over Niall's shoulder, kissing his cheek.

"Was I an idiot for thinking having another teenager was going to be as easy as Liam?" Zayn snorts, throwing a grape towards Niall's mouth, hitting his eye instead. Harry picks it up from where it rolls onto the bed and eats it.

"Yes, defiantly. One she is a girl, girls are harder it's a fact. Two she had a more troubled start then Liam, she was in care from the age of four feeling like nobody wanted her and god knows what she went through before she got out there and three, Liam is Liam. He has probably been like a sensible old man since him mum popped him out." Niall laughs, turning his head to kiss Harry's chest.

"You know, when I first met Liam he was really into scrap booking. And he would file stuff away all the time. Which I guess was odd because he was three." Zayn splutters, dropping his face into the pillow.

"Tell me more. Bet you caught him wanking to Pinterest." Harry face screws up.

"That's disgusting." Niall grab a slice of toast holding it up for Harry to bite.

"Actually Liam used to wank to lesbians all the time."

"I don't need to know this." Zayn shushed Harry,waving his hand by his face.

"He did watch gay porn with me once, when I was trying to work out if I would actually enjoy having a dick up me arse. Scary stuff. Pretty sure he got hard. Went to the loo for quite a while after." Zayn wiggled down under the covers giggling like a child.

"I'm going to repeat that I don't need to know this." Niall reaches behind him to pat Harry's head.

"Don't worry love. Turned out I love dick up my arse. Thank god."

Xxxxxx

The next time Zayn watches them together he fingers himself and Niall has to twist his hands in the bed sheet so tightly it hurts, just to stop himself from reaching out to do it for him. He has no idea who's name is cries out as he comes but judging from the way Harry suddenly pushes his face into the bed and starts fucking him harder he thinks it may have been Zayn's.

The time after that Harry lifts Niall's head up and let's Zayn come all over his face.

It feels a little different after that.

Xxxxxx

"Zayn, can I show you something?" Zayn has spent most the morning in the living room, drawing is his sketchbook. He seemed down today, after talking to the kids on the phone early this morning and Niall wanted to put the smile back on his face.

Zayn lays his notebook down, placing his pencils carefully back into his case before getting up and following Niall up the stairs and into his office.

"I wasn't going to show you this yet, but it seems like a good time." Niall sits Zayn down on his desk chair while they waiting for his laptop to load up.

"Is this going to he some weird shit?" Niall elbows him.

Once it's loaded he clicks on the document he needs then steps back. Zayn gives him a funny look before sliding forward on the chair to read. Niall watches nervously as Zayn's eyes skim across the screen. He leans closer, finger pulling at his lip as he scrolls down.

"This- it's for kids?" Niall nods, leaning against the back of the chair.

"Yes. It's a draft, well a draft of a draft really, of a children's book. I have been thinking about writing children books for a while." Zayn scrolls back to the top, reading over it again before turning on the chair to face Niall.

"I think that's a great idea. I know Rae and Elliott would love to be able to read something you wrote."

About two years ago Niall was doing a lot of stuff on social media as part of him promoting his newest book and he started to noticed how young some of his reader were. He also noticed how him being a openly gay man and writing about it was helping them.

He experience with grief was helping people.

He spoke out about his sexual assault and he was helping people.

He is not really famous but he realised he can do something.

He was already helping people above a certain age, he wanted to help younger kids too. Writing children's books that were bright and colourful and fun but also covering serious subjects seemed like the perfect project.  
Sexuality. Mental health. The environment. Bullying. Different areas of safety. All the things he taught he own kids about he could make into stories.

"I want you to work on this project with me. A series of books." Zayn looked shocked, turning to the screen again.

"I can't write. I mean I guess this is a little easier then your normal stuff but I don't know how to write books." Niall spins his chair back round, keeling down with his arms resting on each of Zayn's legs.

"I want you to illustrate. I want pictures to be a massive part of the books. Help the kids really get what I'm trying to say. I mean, I want you to have an input on the writing too but I really want you to make these book come alive. Books by us. I have enough ideas to keep us going for a while. Work with me, please." Zayn cups Niall's face pulling him up slightly.

"You being serious? You actually want me to work on a book with you? You trust me not to mess it up and tarnish your prefect record."

"I don't have a perfect record. And of course I trust you, pretty sure you are just going to make them better. It will be fun working with you. We will get to see each other more and we will get to talk all the time and if there is a book tour it will be together. And it will be our names, on a cover of a book. Niall and Zayn. Side by side. Our little project. Me and you. Styles and Malik. The dream team. Partners in crime. Ziall. I'm going to keep going until you say yes. The two amigos. Micky and Minnie. Pooh and Piglet. Buzz and Woody. Mary Kate and Ashley." Zayn stand up yanking Niall to his feet pushing against his chest. Niall stumbles back, grabbing hold of Zayn's shoulder to keep himself upright.

Niall's back slams into his filing cabinet, a pot of pens toppling over and rolling off with a clatter.

Zayn presses himself to Niall, the breath rushing out of his chest as he presses there foreheads together, noses squashed.

"Yes. Yes I will work with you." He bunches Niall's top up in his hand, letting our a frustrated groan.

"I really want to fucking kiss you. God Niall, I want to kiss you." He releases Niall's top, hands sliding up to cup behind his ears. Niall breath comes out in pants, eyes half lidded, arousing pooling in the bottom of his stomach.

"I can't remember, I try to remember what you taste like but it was so long ago that I got to have you. I can't remember Ni, how you taste, How you feel. I want it again. I want you." Niall gasps, Zayn's hand sliding over his skin before moving down to the bottom of his top, fingers teasing.

" I-I-" Niall licks his lips, words jumbling together. He tries focus on one thing but Zayn's fingers are ghosting over him and his face is so close and he can smell him and feel his breath and he is so turned on, cock hard in his trousers.  
"I want to kiss you too. Want that." Zayn closes his eyes, leaning more onto Niall, the cabinet creaking as Niall's back pushes into it more. He wonders if he was heavy enough to dent it. If he would come up here everyday and see where Zayn had pushed him into it, remember how he felt, how thick the air in the room had been.

"I can look. I can't touch."His eyes open again looking straight into Niall's. He had such beautiful eyes, and they were sad so often. All Niall wanted for Zayn was happiness. He should have happy eyes all the time.

"Look then." Niall slides his hand into his trousers, past the waistband of his boxers rubbing his hands over his dick, throbbing and painfully curved up to push into his jeans. Zayn moves his hips back a little to give him more room, head dropping to look where Niall's hand disappeared.

"Just watch me. Watch me and I will watch you and its OK. Just looking. You can look." Zayn drops to his knees, hands shaking as he pops the button off Niall's jeans then pulls the zip down. He hooks his fingers into the band, looking at up Niall before yanking his trousers and boxers down to his feet in one motion.

Niall moans, glad to be free of the tight material, hand now able to pump at himself a lot easier.

Zayn is fumbling with his own trousers, eyes focused on Niall's cock as he releases himself quickly wrapping his hand around his length.

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes, so fucking good, fuck." Zayn moves forward a little on his knees. Close enough that the tip of Niall's cock nearly touches him, Niall fist nearly brushing over his cheek as he wanks himself.

"Look so hard, so fucking--wish I could put my mouth on you. Want you to fuck my mouth." Niall squeezes himself harder fighting back the urge to move just a little to the right, to have his cock brush over Zayn's lips. He imagines it, making his lips wet with his pre-cum. Pushing past the puffy softness and into the wet, soft warmth. Making him gag around him, eyes watering as he took him down his throat.

"Zayn... Oh god, close. Getting close."

"Come on me?" Niall drops to his knees, head spinning with how fast he moves. He leans up, one hand on Zayn's shoulder as he positions himself in an way that he can aim over Zayn's dick without touching him.

"That's it baby, good boy." Niall moans loudly, body jolting forward as he starts to come, long hot spurts spilling over Zayn's cock and hand.

"Oh fuck Zayn, ah." Niall squeezes the last few drops out, watching them land on Zayn's hand. Zayn keeps pumping himself, Niall's come spreading over his dick and spilling between his fingers as he fucks his fist. Its making a obscene sound, Niall's come as Zayn rubs it over himself. It makes Niall cock give a feeble twitch.

Zayn's eyes are blown. Completely black as he looks up at Niall, cheek rosy and lips parted in a quite moan.

"Want to kiss you so badly right now." Niall thumbs over Zayn's lips before pushing his thumb into his mouth Zayn closes his lips around it and sucks, moaning. Niall pulls his thumb back out replacing it with two of his fingers, pushing them down on Zayn's tongue. Zayn moans Niall's name, muffled around his fingers, then let out a longer, more strained moan as he starts coming. Niall looks down, watching Zayn's creamy come mix with his own, soaking his cock and trousers. 

He slowly drags his finger from his mouth, biting down on his lip when Zayn purposefully drags his teeth over his skin.

Niall slumps back against the wall, softening cock still out as he watches Zayn come down.

"Fuck." Zayn gives himself another slow tug, body jerking, before he let's go messy hand falling to his side.

"Hmm, fuck indeed. God that was hot."

"Yep. Now I just want to kiss you even more." Niall laughed, looking around for something for Zayn to clean himself up with.

"Sorry about that." Zayn shrugs, grimacing down at his hand before wiping it on his trousers.

"Nah, not your fault. Well it kind of is because it's your face but.. Yeah. I should go change."

"Good plan." Zayn gets up, nodding towards the computer.

"When I come back we should talk more about that. Partner." He puts on a cowboy voice, pretending to tilt a hat on his head. Niall giggles, rolling onto his side to watch him go.

"Oh and Ziall? You really got a name for us?"

"Yes! I have names for us all.. Narry. Nouis. Niam. Its like my friendship badge. Niver. Nacy."

"Yeah but Ziall. I feel like there is more Niall than there is Zayn." Zayn leans on the doorway, pouting.

"Well, I decide who gets what name so deal with it. We are Ziall, it's fucking amazing. Now go clean up that dirty hand so we can talk business." Zayn waggles his eyebrows then slips out the room.

Niall drops his head back on the floor with a sigh.

"I am fucked."

Xxxxxxx

"Hey Mr Styles."Niall looks up from his book as Cameron walks into the room, Willow close behind.

"Hey sweetheart, you alright? "

"Yes thank you sir, how are you?" Zayn raises his eyebrow looking impressed.

"I'm great ta love. You here for dinner?"

"Actually Niall-" Willow steps onto the room more, resting her chin on Cameron's shoulder. "We are going to order Chinese so don't worry about us." Chinese sounded so good to Niall right now.

"I will order some for all of us. Just write down what you girls want and I will add it on. My treat."

"Thanks Mr styles!"

"Thanks Ni." Willows smiles at him, taking Cameron's hand and dragging her out the room.

"Bye Mr styles. Mr styles's friend." Niall picks his book back up, propping his legs up on the coffee table.

"She seems like a good kid." Darcy looks up from the floor, where her and Jackson are building a Lego tower.

"I like her cause she does my hair and paints my nails and makes my dolls hair all soft again. And she make Willow laugh lots." Zayn tickles her with his feet, smiling at her laugh.

"What do you want from the Chinese Z? I will go order it soon, it gets pretty busy." Niall makes note of Zayn and the kids order on his phone before heading outside to find Harry.

"Hey you." Harry was in with the cows, resting against Peter as he watched the sun set.

"Hey beautiful." Niall hops the fence patting Annabel's back as he made his way to Harry.

"You know, I still find it so weird we have cows." Harry laughs tugging at him as soon as he is close enough.

"They are the best. I saw Cameron arrive with Wills, is she staying?"

"Yeah, going to get Chinese. Just wanted to check what you wanted."

"Hmm, Chow Mein for sure. Don't go yet though. Want to just hug you for a bit, it's nice and quite out here." Niall turns so his back is to Harry's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, his hands tucked into the warmth between his chest and Harry's arms.

Niall leans his head back enjoying the sound of Harry breathing against his ear, his smell, a mixture of sweat and his deodorant he sprayed on this morning before work.

"Would you rather only be able to smell bad smells for the rest of your life or only eat bad food?" A smile creeps up on Niall's face.

"That's a hard one. I'm going to say bad food cause bad smells are the worse. Would you rather only have bad music or bad company?"

"Bad company because then I can drown them out with good music. Would you rather have to be naked all the time or only he able to wear cloths two sizes too small" Annabel lets out a quite moo, moving to stand in front of Niall.

"Be naked. I wanked with Zayn today and came all over his dick." Harry hold on him loosened slightly, Niall panics gripping onto him and pulling them back.

"Please don't be angry. I'm really sorry and we didn't touch I swear and I know we're probably not suppose to do this thing when you are not about I'm so sorry. Please don't like divorce me or anything. I love you so much and he just like gets in my face with his 'I want to kiss you' and we didn't touch honestly. I'm a fucking arsehole I know. I love you." Harry shoulders are shaking and Niall spins round horrified that he hurt Harry.

"Oh god ha-wait what the fuck?" Harry flings his head back, laugh echoing around the paddock. Niall hits at his chest.

"Harry! Why are you laughing?" Harry grabs Niall's wrist pinning them at his side.

"Babe, you were so worried about me being angry it was cute. I'm kinda glad you were worried actually. Seriously though, I let him watch you get fucked and I let him come all over your face, you think I care if he watches you get yourself off. I mean I must admit I don't see the need to come on his dick, you dirty boy, but thank you for telling me." Niall relaxes, slumping into Harry, face smooshed into his chest.

"Can't believe you laughed at me. You keep being so cool with everything. I keep expecting you to suddenly snap and smack him one for getting to close to me."

"Normally I would. Not with Zayn though. If was any other bloke I would rip their throat out and shove it up their arse." Niall snorts into Harry chest. Harry was a gentle thing but Niall could very well see him do just that.  
"Like i said before, it's Zayn. I'm comfortable with him being apart of our sexual relationship. Plus he has been super flirty with me anyway. Out here helping me with the these girls." Harry reaches behind him to pat Peter.  
"He has made my dick hard so many times I don't know how its still attached to my body. Think he is after both of us babe. So don't go getting a big head about it." Niall pouts, looking towards the barn that he had seen Zayn follow Harry into countless times this week..  
"Excuse you Mr, I had my finger up his arse and I came on his dick. Stop looking jealous."

"My finger was not up his arse. The kids came home so I didn't get a chance. Shame really. Bet it's a nice arsehole." Niall let's out a scream of laughter as Harry starts running towards him.

Xxxxxx

Niall trailed behind Harry, heart constricting at the sight of him cradling Darcy to his chest. She looked so small in his long arms.

He leaned against the twins doorway, watching as Harry carefully laid her down in her bed, tucking the blankets in around her little body. He switched the nightlight on that sat between the two beds then left a small kiss on Rebecca's forehead before leaving the room, smiling tiredly at Niall as he shut the door.

"Bed?" Niall was yawning before Harry had even got the word out.

"Yes. I will go tell Willow to keep it down, you go switch stuff off." The part, Niall going up to Willow's room while Harry slumps down the stairs looking like he was going to fall asleep any second.

Niall done three quick knocks on Willows door before pushing it open. Music was playing, a little louder then Niall would like for such a late hour.

"Hey girls, time to quite down." Niall came to a stop, smiling to himself.

He switched the music off, turning back to face the bed.

Willow and Cameron were both fast asleep on top of the bed, Cameron's arm around Willow's waist.

Niall felt a little guilty as he gently shook Cameron awake. She groaned, pulling Willow closer to her before opening her eyes looking over at Niall.

"Mr Styles?"  
"Sorry to wake you sweetheart, just wanted to check if you let your parents know if your sleeping." Cameron yawned, shaking her head while lifting her arm from Willow's waist to grab her phone.

"Thanks, I will text them now. You don't mind if I stay?"

"Course not, always welcome. Here." Niall lifts her phone up for her, waiting while she sends the text quickly.

"I won't wake you again, promise. You need anything?"

"No thank you, night Mr Styles." Her eyes are already closing again, arms going back around Willows waist as she tucks her face into her shoulder.

"Goodnight love."

It makes him feel nostalgic for his nights with Liam, cuddled up in bed feeling safe and loved with his best friends arm around him.

He was glad Willow had a Liam in her life and he just hoped that whatever was stressing her out was something she spoke to Cameron about. If Niall didn't have Liam a lot of his life problems would have been a lot worse.

He takes the blanket Willow keeps at the end of her bed, knitted by Lisa when Willow first came to live with them like she had done for all the kids, and spreads its out over the two girls.

He leaves them, switching the light off and closing the door.

When he slips into the bedroom Harry and Zayn are already in bed just the glow of the bedside lamp lighting the room.

They have both rolled into the middle faces close as they talk quietly.

Niall passes the bed and goes into the bathroom to wash his face and teeth.

He was exhausted, they had been having more sex lately then sleep so he was looking forward to just curling up in bed a dozing.

Harry and Zayn wiggle apart a little when Niall comes back out tugging his top and trousers off as he goes over to his draws to grab a clean pair of boxes.

He can feel both their eyes on him as he stands naked in the room and playfully shakes his bum before pulling the boxers up.

"I'm so tired so you both better cuddle the shit out of me." Harry lifts the blanket as Niall crawls up the bed arms already tugging at him as he lays down.

"Night beautiful." Harry presses a kiss to his lips hand spread out on his side. Zayn presses up against his back arm draped over Niall, hand resting on Harry.

"Night love." Zayn kisses the back of his head, before nuzzling it with his nose.

Niall looks down at their arms, his looking paler then normal amongst all the tattoos, his heart doing a little flutter.

"Love you both." Niall's eyes are closed and he is asleep before either can reply.

Xxxxxxx

"So why cows?" Niall wipes his hand over his forehead where sweat was starting to gather.

He had been spending the past hour mucking out Bandits stable and was considering slapping Harry for once again getting out of doing it.

Zayn was leaning against the fence, back to Niall as he watched Peter and Annabelle, sipping on his coffee. When Niall had first spotted him making his way towards the stable, Dougie leaping after him, he thought he was getting help. Zayn had made it quite clear he was in fact not helping but lighting up a fag and turning away from him before he could ask.

So Niall was sweating like a gross pig and Zayn was posing like some model enjoying the sun.

"Because I married an idiot that's why cows." Zayn chuckled, placing his mug down on the fence beside him.

"We had a load of protesters here about a year ago. Your kind." Zayn looks offended for about a second before he realise Niall means vegetarians . He rolls his eyes pulling another cigarette out of thin air.  
"And?"  
"And, they released loads of animals from the slaughter farms. It was hilarious. We had chicken, cows, lambs and pigs all over the village. Turns out they made it worse cause once they have escaped the farmers can't sell them for meat so they shot them instead." Zayn spins round looking horrified.  
"Yeah I know. Harry went on a rampage when he found out they had been killing them once they were caught. Found this woman who had been hiding some and that's how we got them two. Surprised he didn't bring back more."

"I just can't believe they kill perfectly fine healthy animals."

"Yeah well, they don't think like that. They want money for them, once they are no good for that they don't need them no more. They are just taking up space. Once they are out they can pick up diseases to easy, so they can't be turned into meat. They are useless to them." Zayn makes a sound of disgust, looking worked up as he takes a drag, blowing it towards the sky.

"You meat eaters I swear." Niall smiles to himself. He did love when Zayn got passionate about stuff.

"I know. I fucking love animals mate. Unfortunately I also really love juicy steak and big burgers and sizzling bacon." He turns his head towards Zayn who is scowling at him.  
"Yum."

"Fuck you. Disgusting. Fry you up and see how you like it."

"Should ask Harry to help. He loves eating me." Zayn scoffs, but Niall can see the corner of his cheeks puff out a little as he tries not to smile.

"You know it was the same with Bandit. Harry heard his old owner was about to shot him. Injured his leg and the man didn't want to pay the vet bills cause he wouldn't be good for show jumping after. These people don't even think about re-homing, but that's how it is I guess. Harry and his heart of gold will no doubt keep adding to our little collection." Zayn turns his back to Niall again, leaning his elbows on the fence.

"People are fucked up." Niall hums and let's the subject end there stomping back into the stable to start scattering some fresh shavings down on Bandits bed as he stamped around behind him.

"What about the chickens?" Niall chuckles to himself, parting Bandits side after he bumped into him.

"Those we got to eat. Just waiting for them to get nice and fat then it's chicken for days." Zayn doesn't reply so Niall guesses he didn't hear him.  
He finishes up Bandits stable then with a kiss to his nose leaves him to roll in it and make it a mess again.

"Think we should take the kids to the park-Zayn?" Niall puts his hand on his hips watching with an amused expression as Zayn runs towards the barn.

"Oi Idiot! I was fucking joking!"

Xxxxxxx

Later, when they are all at the park and Zayn is running around with the kids and Willow is slouched on the bench with her phone and Cameron, Harry comes up behind him arms running up his back as his lips press to his ear.

"Gemma is having the kids tomorrow, until bedtime."

"Why? She had them last weekend."

"I want to try something. With you and Zayn. Best the house is empty I'm not sure you will be able to stay quite." Harry says no more about it and Niall spends the rest of the day in a dazed state of arousal wondering what will be happening tomorrow.

Xxxxxxxxx

"Lay on the bed baby." Niall falls ungracefully to the bed, wiggling up to the pillows. He was already panting, had been on edge all day waiting for this moment. To finally find out what the hell Harry had planned. If he thought Niall was going to struggle to stay quite then it was something they didn't do much. Which, he can't even think want that would be. He could not wait.

Zayn comes into the room, fingers tapping away at his phone as he perched on the edge of the bed. Niall wants to kick him for not looking more interested.

Harry climbs on the bed, crawling until he is above Niall and starts kissing him, keeping it slow and sweet.

Its on purpose, the innocence to the kiss making Niall even more turned on, cock pushing against his jeans and head spinning.

Harry is moving his hands over his side in smooth motions that have Niall arching up desperate for more. Just a little more.

He was promised something so good he wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut, he was not expecting making out like teenagers.

Harry pulls back suddenly, practically jumping off the bed. Zayn looks up from his phone, frowning like he is annoyed at the sudden movement for disturbing him. Niall is left laying on the bed, legs parted and flushed all over.

"Zayn do you mind?" Zayn looks shocked for a second but then he gets up with a shrug.

"Yeah, sure. Couple time is important, I will go chill with Bandit." Niall tries to hide his disappointment. He thought whatever Harry had planned would involve Zayn being in the room. He had said it involved Zayn. Had he changed his mind? Was this the end of whatever they had been doing?  
He was disappointed but it would be fine. He thought he had longer, that this would keep going until Zayn left, but he was fine.

"Oh no, sorry Zayn I don't want you to go. Niall love, could you stand by the bed for me please." Niall falters a little, head trying to to catch up. Zayn was staying. OK. Good.

Niall slides back off the bed standing to the side like Harry had asked.

Harry smiles at him, a silent good boy that has Niall's legs shaking.

"Zayn." Harry brushes his hand over Zayn cheek, Zayn pushing into the touch as Harry moves his hang away again. "Undress him for me." Niall tenses, hot arousal washing over him at Harry's words.

Zayn's eyes widen, searching Harry's face for any sign that he is joking before he slowly walks over to Niall.

"I want him completely naked." Zayn curses, hand digging into his thighs.

"I um.... I'm going to... When I touch him I'm going to get turned on from it." Harry raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he leans against the wall.

"I should hope so. Let hurry it up a little yeah. Strip him." Zayn look distressed, Niall watching the bob of his throat as he swallows.

"You said no touching."

"I did. Now I'm saying to undress him."

"Harry." Zayn shakes his head, tugging at his top. Niall gets it. He knows what's going trough Zayn's head.

It has been so hard to resist him. He thinks about kissing Zayn for most of the day. Sometimes he feels a small feeling, like a ghost of how he thinks he remembers him tasting. Cigarettes and home.

Keeping their touches strictly friendly, avoiding any touch they could be mistaken for sexual is what was keeping them from crossing the line.

This was sexual.

This was Niall, hard, ready to be laid out and fucked. This was Zayn undressing him, hands on his body as he got him ready for Harry to take.

"Undress him." Niall flinched at the tone to Harry voice. It was one he was used to, but he had never heard it used on Zayn.

Zayn breaths out, eyelids fluttering. He looked so pretty. Beautiful. Flustered. Niall couldn't kiss him.

The tugging on the bottom of his top brings him out of his thoughts a little, but then Zayn is pulling it up, fingers dragging over his skin as it goes, leaving a trail of goosebumps and scorching heat.

Niall can't take his eyes off Zayn's face as he lifts his arms above his head, the material brushing over his face as Zayn removes it.

His eyes roam over Niall;s chest, lip pulled between his teeth as he reaches for the button of Niall's jeans.

Niall's lips part in a breathy moan as Zayn drags the zip down. His boxers are damp. Sticky with pre-cum, the black material glistening wetly where Niall's cock is pushed against it.

Zayn goes to his knees, grip tightening on Niall's jeans as he wiggles them down.

Niall sways back a little, vision going black when he feels Zayn breath tickle over his thighs , his nose brushing against his stomach as he helped Niall step out of his jeans and socks.

Time seems to stop when his fingers curl into the waist band of Niall's boxers and it's too much. So much when it's like this.

"Harry, I want-just a little." Zayn's voice is shaking and he rests his forehead against Niall's stomach, chin almost brushing over his bulge.

"No love. Just undress him please." Harry voice sounds far away. The sound of his blood rushing around his body drowning him out. Niall can't remember the last time he was this turned on. Can't breath. Can't focus on anything but Zayn's hands and Zayn's shallow breathing . Harry just watching.

Zayn slowly peels down his boxers. Niall's cock almost drags across Zayn's cheek once it's release and the sight of it has Niall throwing his head back and gripping onto Zayn's hair roughly to stop himself from thrusting his hips forward.

Zayn moans, hands flying up to gently wrap around Niall's, mouth dropping open, like he is inviting Niall to use him.

"Thanks." Harry yanks Niall's hand away from Zayn's head and shoves him onto the bed.

Zayn stays kneeling on the floor, dazed and panting as Harry quickly undressed himself and hooks his arms under Niall's legs.

Niall doesn't even realise he has lube until he hears the pop of the cap. Harry is quick to get his finger into him, moving it fast and hard as he opens him up. He looks focused. It's not about pleasuring Niall this time, it's about getting him ready. Somehow that's so much hotter.

Niall is on the edge of coming when Harry suddenly yanks his fingers out and stand back up.

"Up you get love." He helps Zayn stand up, looking lovingly at him as he cups his face.

"You still with us?" Zayn nods, a small jerk of his head. He is with them, but barely.

"You OK with me undressing you now" Zayn gives another barely there nods and stand completely still as Harry strips him down to his boxers.

They look so good standing together. Harry completely naked, Zayn almost there.  
Zayn darker skin complements Harry's so well and Niall wonders if he looks that good next to him.

His eyes roam across tr many tattoos and he think he probably looks a little plain.

Niall goes to grab his dick but Harry sees the movement out the corner of his eye and the look he gives Niall is enough to stop him.

He let's out a whine, bending his knees and lifting his hips up a little.

"Getting desperate there Ni?" Niall practically growls in response. He is so hard it almost hurts, cock red and curving towards his stomach pre-cum dribbling out and smearing over his skin.

"Sorry baby. Let's get started should we?" Niall is about to snap that it's about time, he has been waiting for this all day. His words get stuck in his throat his head bursting with static as Harry leans down and crashes his lips to Zayn's.

Zayn's eyes widen, hands flying up to press against Harry chest. Then he is kissing back.

It starts of slow, both of them working out how to move their lips. Zayn looks confused then his face relaxes, his tongue swiping out across Harry's lip. Niall leans up on his elbows, feeling a little shocked as he watches them.

That's his husband. His husband and his friend. His husband naked kissing his friend.

He has kissed him before of course, but Niall had felt like a kid experimenting then. This, well this felt like the real thing.

Zayn whimpers into the kiss, hand sliding around Harry's back and down to grab at his arse.

Niall considered the chances of him coming untouched to be pretty high if this carried on.

Does this mean he gets to kiss Zayn? He had been wanting it all week.

Harry stops suddenly, pulling away from Zayn, who groans and tries to chase Harry's lips with his own. Niall feels a tug of possessiveness at the sight. Harry tuns to his bedside table opening the draw and searching through it. He makes a displeased sound before turning back to Zayn, a thoughtful look on his face as he looks him up and down.

Niall wants to know what he is going to do next but is not sure if he can talk or not. Normally Harry is a little clearer with his intentions when he is in this kind of mood, slightly dominate, but his focus was more on Zayn.

"You are clean right?" Zayn nose scrunches up in confusion and if Niall was not as equally confused he would find it adorable.  
"Of course you are." Harry grips Zayn's shoulder, turning him to face the bed, pushing down gently until Zayn was kneeling on the mattress.

"Now I want you to fuck him." Niall gasps loudly, wide eyes meeting Zayn's.

"What? We can't." Zayn looks torn. What he wants right there in front of him, but surely Harry doesn't actually want this. They have talked about it, while getting off. Harry had made it more then obvious the idea of Niall and Zayn fucking was a turn on but he never imagined Harry would actually be asking Zayn to do it. That he would let it go this far.

"Yes you can. I just said you can. I am giving you my permission to fuck him. If he wants you to, do you want him to Niall? Do you want Zayn to fuck you?" Niall looks to Harry, nodding as soon as he can see he is being serious, that he is fine with this.

"Yes. Yes please." Harry releases Zayn's shoulders and steps back until the back of his knees bump into the chair, then he just sits down and smiles and waits.

Zayn still looks unsure, so Niall reaches out for him hand wrapping around his arms and pulling him towards him.

Zayn settles between Niall's legs, keeping his hips raises.

"Hey." Zayn laughs nervously, hands pushing into the pillow either side of his head.  
"Hi." Niall reaches up to tuck the long strands of Zayn's fringe behind his ear.

"Kiss me." Zayn licks his lips, arms shaking as he leans down. He stops a breath away from Niall's lips and it takes everything in Niall to not lean up and close the gap, to rush him when he still looks so unsure.

"It's OK. It's just me. We have done this before." He can almost feel Zayn's lips as he talks, an almost electric sensation that has his toes curling.

"Its different this time. You know, and it's so much. You are so much." Niall tangles his fingers in the back of Zayn's hair, gripping it gently.

"I know. Its going to be special right? Your are so much to me too, I really want to kiss you." Zayn let's put a shaky breath that tickles across Niall's face and down his neck.

Then he closes the gap. Niall opens his mouth instantly, moan muffled by Zayn tongue as he licks eagerly into Niall's mouth, hips dropping down. Niall gasps, hand tightening in Zayn's hair as he arches up into him.

He taste like he remembers. The cigarette he smoked before coming up, warmth and home.

He kisses softly with a bit of a bite, Niall's lips already swollen from it. It makes Niall's whole body buzz. It's still nothing like what Harry does to him but it's pretty close and it's sends his head spinning.

"Need you. I'm ready, I'm all ready, just need you in me. Please, need you." He's frantic, lips never leaving Zayn;s as he talks, hand moving to the back of Zayn's ears, finger tips digging in.

Zayn reaches down lifting his hips up enough to pull the front of his boxers down, gripping his cock in his hand as he positions himself, the head pushing against Niall.

Niall gasps head falling back into the pillow.

"Oh god, oh god." Zayn is pushing into him slowly, Niall clawing at his back, the drag almost too much for him.  
"Yes, yes, oh god please, fuck me, fucking fuck me." Zayn reaches up to wrap his hand around the post of the bed, neck strained as he holds back his own sounds. His face is twisted into a look of complete bliss, the feeling of Niall tightly around his cock almost enough to make him come already. He won't last long, he knows he won't last.

"Niall." He gasps, head falling forward. "Feels-feels so much better then I remember." He kisses up Niall's neck, stopping to suck at the skin for a moment before moving up his jaw and to his lips.  
"Gonna fucking kill me." Niall giggles into the kiss, raising his legs up. Zayn reaches for them, arms hook under each knee as he pushes them forward, bending Niall almost he half.

He waits for the dizziness to pass, Niall impossibly tighter around him.

"Jesus. "He takes a deep breath, looking into Niall's eyes before snapping his hips forward.

Harry was right in thinking Niall would be loud. He can't help it.  
Not with the weight of Zayn pushing him down into the bed, his cock slamming into him, the slight burn as he fucks him hard and fast.

He turns his head to look at Harry. He had been expecting him to be touching himself but instead he is just watching, teeth working over his finger. He is hard. Red and wet, but he doesn't move to touch himself. He just watches.

Its so fucking hot.

He turns back to Zayn, catching his lips in another wet, sloppy heated kiss.  
This is Zayn. Zayn. Fucking him.

There has always been so much tension between them. Building and building. And they were good at dealing with it, ignoring it, not letting it effect their friendship or Niall's marriage. Because those things were more important.

Now they were doing this, and it wasn't just to please themselves but to please Harry too.  
Which is what makes Niall lose it. That he was pleasing Harry by doing this.  
He keeps scratching and grabbing at Zayn. Wanting him closer, closer, closer.  
His smell and touch invading all his senses.  
Moans and mumbled nonsense is spilling from his lips, only stopping when Zayn closes their mouths together in another searing kiss.

Niall feels himself about to come. He lifts his legs up more, arms reaching down so he can slip his hands under Zayn boxers and grip his arse cheeks, push him in deeper and make him fuck harder.

Zayn pushes down on the back of Niall's legs, nearly bending him in half.

The bed is squeaking, headboard slamming onto the wall and Niall is so thankful Harry thought to make the house empty.

Niall doesn't think he has been fucked his hard in months. He will feel Zayn for hours after this. He wants to.

"Harder, harder. Fuck." Niall sees Harry move out the corner of his eye as Zayn moves onto his knees, pressing as close to Niall as he can his hips slapping against Niall's arse as he fucks him with short hard thrusts.

Niall faces Harry again and then with a cry of Zayn's name starts coming.

Everything goes white, Niall's body tensing as he shots all the way up to his neck, can feel it hit the pillow right by his ear. It seems never ending, wave after wave as he soaks himself.

Zayn falls forward, arms realising Niall's legs letting them drop back down. He buries his face into Niall's neck, body juddering as he starts coming inside him, chanting Niall's name as he slows down. He gives one last jolt with a small grunt then goes still, fingers dragging down Niall's side.

"Holy, Jesus , Christ, God." Niall laughs, then moans when Zayn starts moving his way down Niall with his lips, lapping up his come with his tongue.

He slowly pulls out, come instantly starting to trickle out of Niall. He thinks about asking Harry to come and lick it out of him but then Zayn is clumsily getting off the bed, stumbling towards Harry on shaky legs dropping to his knees.

It only takes four pumps of Zayn's hand around Harry's cock before he comes, head flung back, teeth biting down on his lips.

Zayn's head flops down on Harry's knees. He looks happy and sleepy. Eyes fluttering as he smiles over at Niall.

Harry lifts Zayn's hand, cleaning his own come of his fingers with his mouth. Niall groans into the pillow.

Harry stands carefully, arms hoisting Zayn up and carrying him back to the bed. He lays him next to Niall, stroking over the side of his face before bending down to kiss Niall.

"You both nap. I will wake you before the kids are due home. You did so good baby. Made me so happy. Such a good boy." Niall falls asleep with Zayn tucked against him and Harry's praise in his ear.

Xxxxxxxxx

When Niall wakes up next there is a dull throb in his lower back but the rest of him feels relaxed and loose. He can't remember the last time he woke up feeling so refreshed and rested.

He rubs the sleep from his eyes, stretching his legs out across the bed, bumping into what he guess to be Zayn's legs.

He is facing the clock on his bed when he opens his eyes and he is surprised to see its 5am. Harry must not have woken him when the kids got home. No wonder he is so refreshed. He has been asleep for hours.

Yesterday come back to him in flashes.  
Zayns soft touch as he undressed him.  
Harry kissing Zayn.  
Zayn kissing him, being inside him.  
The look on his face just before he pressed their lips together, the sounds as he pushed into Niall.

He smiles, the urge to giggle like a little girl strong as he rolls to his other side to face Zayn and Harry, expecting them to still be asleep.

His heart slams onto his throat, his stomach doing a swoop and his dick already filling up.

Harry has his head resting on one hand, smirking over at Niall.

"Finally. You have been shuffling around for ages, been getting impatient haven't we love?" His eyes drift down to Zayn who is lying on his stomach, face pushed into the pillow. He lets out a muffled sound, hand waving about before dropping to the bed again. Harry has three fingers moving slowly into him, wrist tensing as he stretches them out then drags them back until the tips are just in, before pushing down again.

"What?" Harry chuckles at the confused look on Niall's face pulling his fingers out of Zayn. Zayn whines, bum raising in the air.

"On your back again Niall please." Niall does as he is asked, blanket twisting around his hips slightly as he rolls.

Harry lifts Zayn up, arms around his hips as he shifts him over Niall.

Niall blinks up at Zayn, who looks so far away Niall is not sure he is even taking in that he is now caging Niall to the bed with his arms and legs.

Niall looks down at the gap between him and Zayn, its enough to get his hand down to touch himself but the bloody blanket is tight around his waist.

"Everyone comfy?" Zayn makes an garbled sound which Harry must take as a yes, and judging from the next sounds that leaves Zayns lips harry has started to fuck him.

Niall has never seen Zayn like this before. Someone else in control, being fucked. He looks completely out of it, body jerking forward with each hard thrust Harry gives him.

Niall grabs at his face, stroking his thumb over the soft skin under his eye, over his hair, before bringing him down so he can reach his lips. He doesn't kiss him properly, just holds his lips against Zayn's and swollows the moans. Anything to distract him from his erection trapped in the bedsheets that he can do nothing about just yet.

He can tell when Harry starts to get close, the way he breaths and how his moans turn higher and it's so sexy that its Zayn about to make Harry come.  
His husband fucking another man should not be this sexy but Niall is struggling to remember anything more hot then this.

Harry speeds up, hips snapping forward harder sending Zayn falling down onto Niall, arms too weak to keep him up.

Niall wraps his arms around Zayn and he can see Harry now. His eyes are closed, head flung back as he really starts fucking into Zayn.

Niall is finally getting the friction he needs, Zayns body dragging over his cock as the force of Harry juts him forward.

Niall turns his face into Zayns damp neck, eyes still on Harry as he gets closer to coming. It won't take him long. Body still sensitive and responsive from being asleep, the sight he woke up to was enough to send him to the edge on its own. Seeing Harry and feeling Zayn was all he needed to finish himself off.

Harry drops his head, looking at Niall as he starts to come, cursing and pulling at Zayn's hips.

Niall is next to go, spilling into the sheets and over his legs.

With Harry's help he lifts Zayn back up giving Harry space to reach under him and take his cock in his hand.

Niall kisses him properly this time, lips sloppy as Zayn starts to come, spilling over Harry's hand and Niall's stomach.

Harry gently moves zayn to lay next to Niall, bending down to kiss him once before leaning back on his knees.

"Good morning loves." Niall laughs, slinging an arm over his eyes. Zayn makes another garbled sound, rolling into Niall.

Xxxxxx

Niall and Zayn move around the kitchen with soft touches and small blushes as they tidy away the kids breakfast mess.

Its peaceful, the three kids upstairs getting dressed and Willow in the living room watching the news with some cereal.

He doesn't really know how to act around Zayn. If what they done is strictly for the bedroom or not. It's hard to be normal though. What with the ache in his butt, at the memories of Zayns face twisted up in pleasure.

Zayn puts the kettle on ready for them to have an actual warm cup of tea when the kids are gone before slipping outside to smoke.

Niall puts the kids lunches together, which they will be disappointed by as he doesn't have the same patients as Harry to sit and cut up everything how they like. He is more of a grab and throw in kind of lunch packer. He keeps glancing out the window, Zayn standing with his back to Niall, smoke drifting around him.

He hopes it was not a one off.  
He is not sure how he could have him just the once.

"I'm off." Niall jumps, knee slamming into the cupboard and knife falling from his hand with a clatter. Willow gives him a funny look, leaning against the doorframe.

"Oh ok. You got everything you need?"

"Yeah, I need to go to the library after collage so I will text you if I don't think i will be home till late. Love ya."

"Thanks love, have a good day and love you too." Willow gives him another look then leaves shouting a goodbye to anyone else that can hear her.

Niall piles the kids on to the bus ten minutes later with kisses and hair ruffles then heads back in to sit and drink his tea.

Zayn is already at the table, rocking back in his chair as he looks down at his phone.

"You heard from the kids yet?"

"No. But got some pictures from Matt." Niall makes grabby hands for Zayn's phone. He missed Rae and Elliott so much.

Harry comes into the kitchen, wrapping a bandana into his hair as Niall is flicking through the photos

"Harry come look at these. They look so grown up." Harry leans against the back of his chair chuckling at some of the poses Rae was doing in the picture. She was convinced she was going to be a pop star someday and all photos of her now involved some kind of pose she had been practicing. Niall was pretty sure she would be famous for something when she was older.

"I'm just going to sort out Bandit and the girls, then I need to go to work. There is a staff meeting so I'm home late don't forget." Niall tilts his head back, pouting up at Harry. He hates when he is not home for dinner. It never feels right without him bouncing around being an idiot.

Harry leans down to kiss his pout away, which works a little. Then he rounds the table and cups Zayn's chin to lift his head up kissing him too.

"Oh" Zayn watches Harry leave, mouth parted. Niall just shrugs handing him his phone back.

Guess it's a thing then. Good.

Xxxxxx

Niall stops Harry as he is leaving for work. Zayn is upstairs singing loudly in the shower.

"How should me and Zayn be around each other while you are at work?"

"How do you want to be?"

"I don't know. I just don't want to upset you, this thing, whatever it is can't come between us." Harry let's go off the door, hand wrapping around the strap of his bag.

"I think that for the time Zayn has left here we should maybe have no rules? Just go with whatever feels right at the time. I think he needs this and to be honest Niall, I think you need it too. I'm secure enough with our relationship, and I trust Zayn."

"OK sure. What feels right." Harry kisses his cheek, pulling the door open.

"What if..." Harry pauses waiting for Niall to continue. "What if." Niall stops again rubbing at his face. How can he even say this without sounded like a massive jerk. Harry clears his throat.

"Stop overthinking Niall. Go with the flow on this one babe. Neither of us expected to get into this. Its been fun so far. No rules OK. Whatever you and Zayn decide to do while I am gone, or whatever just happens to happen we will stay good I promise." Harry steps outside, Niall moving forward to give him a kiss.

This was something he never thought him and Harry would get in to. Harry letting Zayn watch them was a surprise enough, but last night and this morning and now Harry being fine with the idea of him and Zayn doing stuff while he was not even home, it was something Niall felt a little nervous about.

What if he and Zayn did do something? Have sex? What if Harry decides he can't actually deal with it and it's too late and it ruins things between them.

"Harry are you sure?" Harry smiles, moving closer and bending down a little until their faces were level.

"Look at me Ni, you know when I am lying. You and Zayn as far as I am concerned have a free pass for the rest of his time here. Kiss him, fuck him, I don't mind. Me too, we all have a free pass. It will not change anything between us. All it is doing is giving us some fun and putting the spark back in his eyes. He looks really happy today. This is a good thing. Enjoy it babe. I will be." Niall rolls his eyes at the cocky look on Harry's face, giving him another quick kiss before he walks off towards his car.

"I will save you some dinner!"

"Thank you, love you!"

"Love you too!" Niall waits until he can't see the car anymore then goes back inside, heading upstairs to shower.

Once he is washed and dressed, and stripped their frankly quite disgusting bed sheets, Niall goes back down to look for Zayn.

He finds him in the living room, face pressed to the window.

"Who is that?" Niall leans over him to look out where Zayn is pointing over to the barn.

A man is in the field standing between Peter and Annabelle.

"That is Tom."

"Tom? Who the fuck is Tom and why is he with the girls?"

"He milks them." Zayn presses his face furture into the window, nose squashing against the glass.

"Why does he milk them?" His breath fogs up the window and he quickly wipes it away with his sleeve.

"Cause I don't want to. He works at the farm down the road, the one with the massive yellow barn. He milks the girls for us and takes some eggs from the chickens, leaves us some and then takes the rest to sell."

"He just takes it. For free?"

"If it means I don't have to touch cow tits then yes. My hands do not touch tits Zayn." Zayn tuts leaning back to look at Niall.

"Udders. Idiot. Plus Harry told me when he was drunk about Bora Bora. Your hands have so touched tits." Niall was going to kill Harry.

"Who else knows!" Zayn laughs turning back to the window.

"Fucking everyone. Don't be ashamed Ni, we all do things when we are drunk. I mean I personally could not bring myself but whatever floats your boat man. At least it was not a disaster, you made her come right?"

"Yes!" Niall bristled, crossing his arms. "Of course I did. Magic hands and mouth me. Worked wonders. Took her to another universe mate." Zayn snorted, breath fogging up the window again.

"Can't remember can you?" Niall gives him the finger. "So anyway stud, this Tom bloke. I watched him walk pass the house. He is well fit."

"Is he? I have not noticed." Niall speaks in a way that gives away he had very much noticed. He just so happens to rather enjoy Tom's visits. They can sometimes break up a day of writing quite nicely.

"He is like a proper farmer right? Must be good with his hands. Do you think they are all rough and manly. I bet his body is banging. Oh man he probably has like abs and shit. Oh my god he is actually milking the cows, like no hesitation Niall he is straight in there. Why is that sexy? Wait does he kill his animals? Am I drolling over a murderer." Niall rolls his eyes and leans agiast the wall knowing Zayn is about to lose it.

"Actually he runs quite the animal friendly farm. Once they get to old for what he needs he gives them to this shelter place. He is all for animal rights and doesn't even eat meat. It's why he milks the cows like that and does not hook them up to them machines. said it scares them and might hurt them." Zayn slaps his hands against the window excitedly.

"Oh my god!" He jumps down from the window, tripping over Niall's foot and falling into the sofa.

"My fags! Where are my fags? Does he like smokers? Wait, that don't matter cause I am not giving that up for nobody. No matter how manly their hands are. Fags Niall!" Niall points to Zayn's pocket, were he always keeps them.

"Oh right. Of course. Right. I'm just gonna smoke." Niall watches out the window as Zayn goes across the driveway, lighting his cigarette.

It takes two cigarette before he even gets himself to go over to the barn and it provides Niall with an hour of entertainment when Tom gets Zayn to take a seat and milk Peter. He gets a weird mixture of happiness and annoyance every time Zayn throws his head back in laughter.

Once he realises he is not coming back inside anytime soon he goes back upstairs and does some work in his office then makes himself busy around the house. When a couple more hours have passed he takes another peak outside. Zayn and Tom are now standing by his truck and Zayn is still laughing. Niall narrows his eyes. Zayn never laughs that much. What on earth could he be saying. Is this some kind of vegetarian thing? Inside hilarious jokes? Well, Niall thinks he is funny too thank you very much farmer Tom.

Niall is being ridiculous. He knows he is. Tom is not even gay. He had a fiance for christ sake. Then again Zayn was ridiculously pretty. Niall was sure straight men fell for him. He was more then convinced that Louis would drop his pants for Zayn.

"He is wearing a stupid hat. And his truck makes stupid sounds. Nothing funny about that." Niall steps away from the window with a huff. He feels very much like his friend had run off on the playground and found a new best buddy.

He distracts himself with getting things ready for dinner later. Banging around the kitchen loudly enough that he did not hear the front door open and close. The knife he is using to cut carrots slams against the counter with each chop, Niall's face set in a deep frown.

They had sex last night. Zayn should be in here with him, not out there flirting. As if a farmer would even be his type. City boys are his type. Niall was a city boy. At heart. Not that it mattered. He didn't care. Not at all. He can stick it where he wants.

A body presses up against his back, making him jump and throw his knife across the counter.

"The fuck?" He puts his hand to his chest, Zayn's face coming into view as he rest it on Niall's shoulder.

"That is some aggressive carrot chopping right there Niall. Something bothering you?"

"No. Why would it be? How is cow titty boy?" Zayn laughs, nuzzling into the side of Niall's face.

"They are udders Niall, and he is good. Very nice. Turns out his hands are rough." Niall spins round, Zayns hands slamming agaist the counter as he blocks him in.

"Well aren't you a tart." Zayn laughs again, bumping his forehead with Niall's.

"Not that tarty to shake a mans hand is it? He is a lovely bloke, very chatty about his fiance."

"Oh well." Niall will not admit how much relief he feels about that. "Shame. Sorry if that ruined your plan to have a dirty roll in the hay with him." Zayn raised his eyebrow, Niall blushing because he knows he is being snappy for no good reason. He should want Zayn to like other people. The more people he liked the more chance of him getting over Matt.

"There is only one person I want a dirty roll in the hay with, well two really. Tom is not one of them. You sure are cute when you are jealous though. Didn't like seeing me with him did you? Want to keep me to yourself don't you? Greedy boy." Niall surges forward, lips smashing into Zayn's. Zayn bites his lip and their teeth clash and its all a bit messy. But Zayn gets control of the kiss, hands pulling at Niall's top as they stumble back. Zayn slams into the fridge, magnets and pictures falling to the floor. Niall pulls at his hair, lips parting to let his tongue in, moaning as he licks into his mouth. Zayn pushes them forward again, Niall stumbling a little as Zayn tries to steer them toward the door.

Niall smacks his hip on the door frame, then smacks his head into the wall once they have succesfully got into the hallway. Their lips don't part once, both would rather the bumps and brusies then actually pulling apart for a second.

Niall unzips Zayns jeans, shoving his hand into them as soon as there is room, rubbing and grabbing at his dick. It makes moving into the living room a lot harder but judging by the sounds Zayn is making into his mouth he cares as little as Niall does. He loves the feeling of Zayn growing hard in his hand, barely noticing when they bump into the small table knocking a lamp and a picture frame to the floor.

Niall slids his hand back out of Zayn jeans as he falls backward onto the sofa, grabbing his top to drag him down with him.

Zayn pulls away from the kiss, Niall making the most pathetic noise ever at the loss. Zayn quickly pulls his jeans down a little, shaky hands working on Niall's.

He looks so beautiful like this. Flustered, kiss swollen lips, focused and turned on. Niall always knew Zayn would look good doing stuff like this, but he had no idea. He felt pretty lucky to get to experience it to be honest.

Zayn pulls Niall's jeans down just enough for his still clothed cock to be free then lowers himself back down, positioning his own cock directly over Niall. He hooks Niall legs over his waist then leans back down to start kissing him again, rolling his crotch down.

Niall grabs hold of Zayn's back fingers digging in as he rolls his own hips up to meet Zayn's feet digging into his arse.

"Happy now?" Zayn kisses down to his ear, biting down gently before moving to his neck. "Got my full attention baby." Niall moves his head to the side, moaning quietly as Zayn kissed over his neck. Fuck, he loves neck kisses so much.

"You don't need to be jealous. Want you all the time. Got me fucking rutting against you like some fucking teenager. Fells so good too baby," He grinds down faster, his cock so hard against Niall's it makes his head spin.

"You get so wet."Zayn looks down between them, Niall's precome soaking through his boxers." You always get this wet or is that just for me? " He sounds breathless as he talks sexy, worked up. Niall wants to record it. Wants to be able to play it back once Zayn is gone and this is not a thing anymore.

"You, just you." Zayn curses, head falling back into Nialls neck.

"Jesus babe, drive me fucking crazy." He grinds down harder, Nialls grip on his back tighting as he meets each of Zayns thrust with his own, can feel the skin of his cock drag back with each move.  
"Your arse was like heaven, can't wait to fuck you again, could be balls deep in you all day and never get bored. So fucking perfect for me." Niall throws his head back with a groan, Zayn taking advantage and kissing down the collum of his throat, teeth dragging against the skin as he sucks gently.

Niall hooks his leg over the back of the sofa, spreading himself more for Zayn. It makes the friction on his cock between Zayns and his stomach so much more. Zayn's cock pushing against his feels so fucking good Niall was barely able to take in what he was saying. Voice floating around his ears, dreamy and ghost like.

Everything feel so wet and hot and hard.

"Zayn." Zayn kisses back up to his mouth , sucking his bottom lip between his, biting down and pulling before releasing it again.

"Can't wait to see you come again. Look so fucking pretty when you come."

Niall looks down at the outline of their cocks rubbing together, both soaked through their boxers, Zayn stomach glistening with sweat. Niall runs a hand down Zayns chest and over his stomach, feeling the muscles working under his fingertips. His other hand starts tracing the tattoos littered over his arms, sweat gathering under the tips of his fingers.

"I'm close Ni, oh fuck." Zayn leans up a little more, hand gripping the sofa as his thrusts turn to short hard ones, mouth falling open as he pants into his arm.

"Come with me, come with me. So close, come with me." Zayn drops his hand back beside Nialls shoulders, head hovering over his, eyes looking directly down into his.

Niall can feel him start to shake, trying to hold back until Niall was ready.

Niall drops his legs off the sofa, spread as far as he can for Zayn. He slides his hand down the back of his boxers, thinks back to just a few days ago when he nearly fingered Zayn right here and had felt terrible for it. Now he had him desperately fucking against him. He got to kiss and touch and feel and taste.

Niall body's vibrates with how good he feels how desperate he is to come, back arching off the sofa, chest pushing against Zayns. He moans loudly the sound filthy to his ears. He pushes the tip of his finger into Zayns hole.

"Niall, Niall I'm gonna come. Baby, oh fuck baby." Zayns speeds up, hips losing their rhythm as he starts to come. Niall feels the warmth and wetness of his come leak thought his boxers and over his cock. With a cry of Zayns name he starts coming too, finger pushing in deeper as he pushed Zayns arse closer to him, making him run against him as hard as he can as he soakes his boxers.

"Bloody hell." Niall sags into the sofa, Zayn collasping on top of him, back heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

"I just came so much, I'm yucky." Niall giggles, arm wrapping loosely around Zayn neck.

"Dry humping is the best." Zayn lifts his head up, wiping his forehead on his arm before kissing Niall.

"Can't belive I get to do this with you. So surreal. You're so beautiful." Zayn pressed his head to Niall's chest, kissing around his nipple before sucking the small bud into his mouth and releasing it.

"I love you Niall." Niall sighs pushing fingers into Zayn's hair as he kisses down his stomach.

"I know." He wonders if he will ever not feel bad for not being able to say it back.

"Want to come shower with me?" Zayns head pops back up again, big smile on his face as he looks up at Niall.

"That would nice. I feel gross." Zayn gets off Niall, grimacing at the sticky mess in his boxers.

Niall holds his hands out for Zayn to help him up but Zayn swoops down and picks him straight up off the sofa.

Niall giggles as Zayn carrys him up the stairs, carefully putting him down on the bathroom counter.

Niall watches him, legs swinging as he turns the shower and peels his boxers off with a disgusted sound as they wait for the water to heat up.

"I feel proper worn out now by the way so don't be surprised if I nap after this shower." Niall rolls his eyes, kicking his foot out towards Zayn.

"Where is your stamina?" Zayn flips him off.

"Not all of us can be like you and Harry. I'm sure you two could fuck all day and still keep going. Plus I just worked hard for you man. That was like a full gym work out." Niall laughs, sliding off off the counter when steam starts spilling out the side of the shower curtain.

He takes his boxers off throwing them at Zayn who yelps and wacks them away.

"Fucking gross Niall."

Niall steps into the shower, hand reaching out for Zayn as he climbs in after, both cuddling up to get under the water together.

Niall rest his head on Zayn's chest, water hitting the back of his head and running down his back. 

Zayn reaches up to adjust the head a little then brings his hands down to rest on Nialls lower back, kissing the top of his head before resting his cheek there.

"What is this?"

"This is what is regular humans call a hug. Or a cuddle, maybe a snuggle. It's a show of affection." Niall feels Zayn cheeks lift up into a smile and can't help his own.

"Idiot. What we are doing, us three. What is it?" Niall turns his head, pressing his lips to the wet skin on Zayn's shoulder.

"I don't know. Just us having fun? What do you think it is?" Zayn sighs, shoulders raising and falling.

"Years of pent up sexualt frustration finally being let out and enjoyed by all three of us."

"That's a long title. Whatever it is I like it. Do you?" Zayn tightens his arms around Niall, pressing him flush against him. Niall tries not to react to their dicks being pressed together, the moment seems to tender for that.

"Last night was the first time I have kissed anyone since...for years. I forgot how nice it was. And I forgot how nice it is to fall asleep with someone else there and how close you can feel to a person. I like being reminded of it. That it is still something I can feel. Even if it's not quite the same as it was before, cause I love you Niall, but god what I had was real fucking love you know." Niall closes his eyes, sadness swelling in his chest.  
"But what this is, I can have this so I guess that's nice to know. That I might not ever have what was there before but I can get close. So like, whatever this is I'm glad its happening. I'm glad its with you and Harry. And just thanks and stuff."

"I'm glad we can make you feel that way. I like making you happy." Zayn nudges Niall's head with his nose until he looks up at him.

"You always make me happy." He looks so sincere, noting but trust staring back at Niall and it makes Nialls toes tingle when he thinks how lucky he is to have this man in his life.

Niall steps back, pulling Zayn under the shower spray a little more, hair going flat to his forehead. Niall follows the droplets of water with his eyes, dripping from Zayn's eyelashes, dropping down his nose and soaking his lips.

"You're so beautiful." He tips his head back a little to kiss Zayn, water rushing over his face.

Zayn breaks the kiss to pick up the shampoo by Nialls shoulder squirting some on his hand before rubbing it into Nialls hair.

Niall closes his eyes enjoying Zayn fingers smoothing over his scalp as he rinses the shampoo off.

"Do you not date because you are scared of getting hurt again, or is it just because you still love Matt?" Niall reaches for the body wash, purposefully keep his eyes away from Zayn. He always looked so sad when Matt was mentioned, he didn't want to see that look right now. Not when he felt so happy.

"Both I think? Doesn't everyone worry about being hurt though?"

"Maybe." Niall washes Zayns skin slowly, taking in every lump and bump, every muscles, every tattoo as he moves his hands over him.

"Why does this feel so normal?" Zayn talks quietly, Niall only just hearing him over the sound of the water hitting the bath. His fingers run over the slight raised skin of the scars on Zayns arms. Nialls stomach swoops his thumb digging in slightly, Zayn sighs moving his arm away from Nialls touch.

"Because its us." Niall grins up at Zayn who just rolls his eyes.

Niall turns his back to Zayn as he washes himself, ignoring the slight ache in his dick when Zayn pressed into his back, hands running up his side and mouth trailing over the back of his neck.

He misses Harry suddenly. Overwhelmingly so. He wants him here to kiss and touch.

Niall turns the shower off, pulling back the curtain to reach for a towel passing one to Zayn before getting out the shower and drying himself.

"You OK? Went from smiling to serious pretty quick there." Niall left the bathroom, Zayn following at his heel.

"Yeah sorry, just missed Harry suddenly." They came to a stop outside their bedroom doors, Zayn pushing his door open with the hand that was not gripping his towel.

"OK. You don't feel bad for want we done do you? Sorry I should have stopped and checked it was alright."

"No, it's not because of that. I always miss him when he is at work, and it feels worse when I know he is not going to be back until a little later. I'm pathetic." Zayn laughed,shoulder raising.

"Sweet I would say." Niall used to worry about how much he missed Harry when he was at work. It got worse when all the kids were at school. He would pace the house eyes constantly looking at the time, fidgeting whenever he sat down to write, to stressed to do any proper work.

He loved him so much, he hated any second they were apart.  
He was a little better now. More productive with work and doing stuff around the house but he sometimes got such a heavy feeling in his stomach, a ball of anxiety because he just wanted harry back home. He didn't need to be right at Niall's side, just knowing he was in the house somewhere or outside keeping busy was enough to settle Niall back down.

Being madly in love did come with a odd mixtire of feelings.

Book tours were where the real torture happened.

"Well I'm going to go get dressed. Kids are home soon." Niall goes into his bedroom, pushing the door closed behind him.

Zayn goes straight for his phone that he had left on his bed unlocking the screen when he saw he had messages.

A couple more photos of the kids that made him feel like someone had punched him in the heart with how much he missed them. How much he wished they were all on a proper family holiday. Elliott didn't even remember the one holiday he got as the four of them. Doesn't remember a single moment from when he had his two dads together. Zayn probably let's himself feel to guilty over that but he can't help it.

There was a message from Liam.

Worried m8. Just text or call back. Love you Z x

Zayn pulled at his lower lip, glancing towards his door. He wondered if Niall had spoken to Liam or the others since he arrived.

He had a message from River and Louis.

Love are you OK? Been trying to get in contact. About Nolans bday. Also he misses you.

Dude! I know u at Hazzas. What going on? Why did you just vanish? Cass is super worried man.

He sighs, shaking his head. He knew leaving without a word to any of them was a little mean, but it had been last minute and he just grabbed his shit and left too desperate to get here to think of anything else.

He had a couple from Matt. He closes his eyes, grip on his phone tightening as he takes a few steadying breaths before opening up their chat.

Kids had another good day. Missing you. This whole holiday is making me miss you. I love you so much baby just want you back so badly.

Zayn sits down on the bed, adjusting the towel to cover himself before reading the next one.

Still feels like just yesterday you left me baby. I just want to hold you, show you how sorry I am. You know don't you? That I am so sorry for hurting you. You are the only one for me. You are my husband still. You always will be. I love you. Forgive me?

He scrolls down, eyes skimming over the hundreds of messages asking the same thing.

Forgive me.

He throws his phone to the side, falling onto his back.

Forgive me.

Its been six years.  
He still loves Matt just the same as the day he married him. Maybe more.  
It still hurt and he was still so sad. But could he forgive?  
After what happened to Niall. Could he really forgive Matt for that?

He picks his phone back up, quickly typing out an apology to Liam, River and Louis promising River that he will be on full party planning duty when he comes back home.

Home.

Was it home?

The kids loved it but to Zayn it was still Harry and Niall's house. Their love screaming at him from ever corner while he sat alone and heartbroken.

He keeps getting told that it will heal over my time, his shattered and torn heart. How much times does it need? Or will this be how he feels until he takes his last breath. Then will he finally get relief?

He goes back onto Matt's messages, only replying that he is glad the kids are having fun.

Matt does not need to know how devastated he still is.

Nobody does.  
They can know he is sad but they can't know what it's really like. Especially Niall and Harry. It would just upset them too much and that is something he can't put on their shoulders.

Zayn dresses quickly, ignoring his phone when it starts to buzz again. He didn't want to see what Matt had replied and the others knew were he was now, he could ignore them if he wants to.

He hears Niall come out of his room, footsteps pausing outside his door like he is thinking about coming into Zayn's room before he goes down the stairs.

Niall. Niall.

Zayn falls back onto the bed again, body bouncing as he laughs into his hands.

He had never expecting something like this to happen when he was sitting on the train on the way up here.

And for Harry and Niall to be the ones practically offering it all to him on a plate.

Jesus.

The first time he walked in on them having sex he nearly had a heart attack. Niall had looked so good on top of Harry. All sex hair and flushed cheeks.

Not to mention on his knees in the bathroom with come on his face.

How he didn't die he does not know.

Niall had always been so sexy to Zayn.  
Harry too.

But together, God, together they were something else.

Last night and this morning was everything. Getting to feel Niall around him. Tight and warm and so wet. Always so wet. The way his body reacts to Zayn's touch, the noises, the look on his face as Zayn pushed into him.

"Shit." He lifts his head up to peak down at the bulge in his jeans.

It had been ages since he has come so much. Been turned on so much. He felt like a teenager again.

His arse still burnt slightly from Harry fucking him. He had missed feeling that full and hoped the feeling would stay there. He liked the reminder, and he had no idea if it would happen again.

He brought his hands up to his mouth, tracing his lips with his fingers.

Harry kissing him this morning at the table had felt so intimate. The kind of kiss he would give Niall without a second thought. Out of habit. He kissed Zayn the same way.

He goes back to his phone, bringing Matts messages up again.

I miss you too....

I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss your eyes meeting mine and knowing you knew what I was thinking. I miss your kiss. I miss your touch. I miss your company in the evening. I miss your arms around me. I miss you with our children playing and tucking them into bed. I miss making love to you. I miss your love. I miss our life.

I love you too....

From your head to your toes.

His fingers hover over the send button. He shakes his head, cursing to himself as he deletes his words and locks the screen.

"Fuck." This was suppose to be easy by now. Why was it not easy?

Would he be able to forgive him? If he really tried.

Would it matter?

How could he be comfortable around him? Believe that he was fine with his friendship with Niall?  
How could Niall ever be comfortable around him at all?

The doubt would eat away at him. It would be toxic from the start surely.

Zayn gets up from the bed moving to stand by the window.

He loved the view from this room.

The paddock and the fields around the house. It was such a beautiful relaxing place to live. Zayn wished he could shut himself away here forever.

Being with Harry and Niall felt good. That means it could be good with someone else too.

But it would be missing that one thing.  
The thing that would make him miss the person when they were at work. The way Niall missed Harry when he left.  
He can't imagine he will ever find love like that again.  
Never be paired it with Niall and Harry again like he was with Matt. The couples that everyone envied because they were so perfect and so in love.

Now he was the one that envied them all.

The school bus caught his attention coming down the drive. Niall walking out the house seconds later hands waving in the air.

He could see Darcy and Rebecca pressed up against the glass as the bus parked, waving manically back.  
They were crazy and he bloody loved them.

He laughed to himself when Jackson fell off the bus, Niall scooping him back up and placing him on his feet as the girls bounced around him.

He loved seeing Niall being a dad. It suites him so well.  
His favourite moments were between Niall and Willow. There was a softness to them that he loves. Even if she was being a bit of a cow at the moment.

Zayn worried about her. It was clear something was unsettling her and she was keeping it to herself.

Zayn knew first hand what keeping things to yourself could do to you and he didn't want that for Willow.

Zayn left his room to join everyone downstairs, eager to hear about the kids day and help with homework or play. Anything to distract his mind. It was easy to appear happy when he was surrounded by this lot.

Niall brings out some snacks for the kids, hand resting on the back of Zayn neck as he places a plate of fruit down. His thumb rubs a small circle under his ear as he turns to kiss the side of his head before he goes back into the kitchen.

Zayn's chest warms, his heart doing a small stutter. He swallows the words he wants to say.

I love you, I love you almost as much as I love him. I don't want to leave you. I never want to leave. I never wanted you to leave.

"Uncle Zayn, your turn." Zayn turns back to Darcy who is passing him a dice.

"Sorry princess."

It does cheer him up in the end. Being around the kids, having to put a smile on his face. By the time Niall has put veggie burgers and sweet potato wedges on the table, doing jazz hands over his creation, Zayn's smile is real and his laugh loud.

Willow joins then for a bit, pretending not to find Niall and Zayn funny while Darcy, Rebecca and Jackson howl with laughter at the pair. Niall plays footsie with him under the table the whole time and while they are cleaning up and the kids are amusing themselves he crowds Zayn into the counter and kisses him quick and hard.

Its nice. Its a real family feeling. Noise and mayhem while the kids bath and Willow finishes the washing up in the kitchen before shouting out a goodbye and leaving again.

Then its quite and calm while the kids have a warm cup of milk and Niall reads a book.

"Soon it could be our book." Niall's eyes are gleaming when he says it, looking across at Zayn with excitements all over his face.

Our book

Niall wants to work with him, to bring Zayn in on such an important part of his life.

There are things to look forward to.

He just needs to keep reminding himself of that.

The kids go to bed with little fuss, Zayn popping into their room to kiss them goodnight and tuck them in that little tighter before leaving them to sleep.

Niall is tidying the living room, throwing cars and dolls and books into toy boxes, yawning and rubbing his eyes as he goes.

When Harry comes back Zayn watches Niall's eyes light up. He meets Harry at the door, helps him with his coat and bag, hands rubbing at his shoulder as he asks about his day and Harry asks about the kids.

He places an arm around Zayn when he passes drawing him in for a kiss.

They make him feel a part of them.

When Zayn pushes Harry down on the sofa. As Niall kisses over Harry's face and neck, hand running over his chest. As Zayn wiggles Harry's trousers down, releases his half hard cock from his boxers. As he takes Harry into his mouth, all the way down until he brushes the back of his throat, his nose pressing into the softness of Harry's belly. As Harry grabs and pulls at his hair, fucking his mouth. As he comes down his throat, shaking and moaning into Niall's mouth.  
He feels like he is a part of them. He doesn't want to leave.

Xxxxxxxxx

"I'm going to fucking kill her." Zayn looks up with a frown, the sound of the house phone slamming down and Niall storming through the hallway making him drop his pencil and stand up.

Niall rips the door open, Zayn winching when it slams into the wall.

"Niall what's going on?" He shoves a pair of Harry's old shoes on before rushing out after Niall who is making his way across the driveway towards the paddock where Willow is brushing Bandit.

She has been in a good mood today. Eating breakfast with Zayn and making plans to go out on a ride together. She had been chatty and laughing.

"Niall!" Willow looked up, looking confused. Bandit stamped his feet, moving to the side a little. Niall lifted up the gate lock letting it swing open with a bang. Zayn watched Bandit nervously as he jumped slightly, nose hitting into Willows shoulder.

"Shit." Zayn rushed forward, running past Niall to stand by Bandits head to help sooth him.

"You stupid, stupid girl!" Zayn's eyes widen at the anger on Niall's face.

Willow steps back, face paling. Whatever she done she knew Niall had found out.

"Do you know how lucky you are that Mrs Godfry is not pressing charges. What the hell were you thinking!"

"It was just some fun." Willow seemed to shrink under Niall's glare, hiding behind Bandit as much as she could. Zayn grips onto his mane ready to pull him away.

"Fun? Fun! Joyriding Willow. You stole a fucking car!" Zayn curses, stomach dropping. He tugs Bandit and starts pushing him towards the stable, making smoothing sounds by his ear.  
He has never seen Niall look as furious as he does right now.

Stealing a car. Joyriding. These are not things Willow would do.

"It wasn't just me, and it was Mrs Godfrys son who was driving."

"That don't matter! You keep telling me you're an adult then you get in a stolen car and speed around the village in it. Because everyone else was? It's dangerous you stupid child! You could have crashed or been arrested. That's a serious crime!" Willow looks down at the ground, chin wobbling. Zayn can't imagine Niall shouts at any of them too often.

"I can't even understand what made you want to get in that car. Why didn't you walk away?"

"Because it sounded fun. I wanted to just have some fun." Niall clenched his fist in front of his face, shaking with anger.

"You wanna ring up your aunt River and tell her it was fun? Then maybe she can let you know how fun it is finding out her brother got killed by idiot kids like you!" Zayn closes his eyes, feeling sick at the thought.

"Because it's not just your own life you could have ruined. I can't believe you could be so selfish and reckless. I am so disappointed in you."Willow scoffs head snapping back up.

"Well what a shocker. You and Harry are always disappointed. Always looking for something to moan at me about. Maybe I was just doing you both a favour, making it more easy."

"Hey-" Niall jabs his finger at her face "We don't do that. I think you will find we are pretty understanding. Asking you to let us know where you are is nothing. We give you so much freedom and privacy. Maybe that is what we have been doing wrong." Zayn steps forward, happy enough with how calm Bandit seems, now more worried about how worked up Niall was getting.

"I don't think all this shouting is helping. Why don't you go take a breather Ni?"

"Give me you car keys. And don't say you don't have them cause you always have them. And your phone. Now!" Niall ignored Zayn holding his hand out towards Willow.

"No way. I'm not a child I don't have to give anything to you."

"You live under my roof and you will do as you are told. Keys and phone now." Willow holds his stare, both glaring.

"No."

"Willow I swear to god I will take them from you myself if I have to." Willow shoves her hand into her pocket pulling out both her phone and her keys throwing them on the floor next to Niall's feet.

"You go to collage on the bus and you come straight home. No social media no car and no phone." Niall picks the keys and phone up clutching them tightly in his fist.

"That is not fair"

"Life is not fair so deal with it. You will ring Mrs Godfrey back and apologise to her and explain why you thought it was a good idea."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will!"

"No, fuck you Niall."

Niall surges forward, Zayn jumping between them and pushing him back.

"Oi, that is enough! Niall go inside." Niall turns to Zayn, face screwing up.

"This is noth-"

"Inside now! She done wrong but I am not standing here and watching you scare her. Go, now." Niall let's out a angry huff before spinning on his heel and storming off, slamming the gate behind him.

Zayn waited until he was back in the house nearly slamming the door off it hinges, then turns to face Willow hands on her shoulders.

"You OK?"

"He is a freak." Her voice wobbles when she talks, cheeks slightly red either from getting upset or being embarrassed that Zayn saw her get in trouble.

"He is a dad. It was really irresponsible Wills. Not what I expect from you at all.".

"I know. I'm sorry." she wipes at her face, sniffing.

"Then why did you do it? Talk to me please so I can help. It can stay between us. Just talk and I was listen, no judgement or opinions. Just open ears, maybe some good advice." Willow scuffs her shoe onto the ground, mouth twisting as she thought.

"Come on sweetheart. You're making me worried." She takes a deep breath then nods, walking away from Zayn's hand and over to Bandit. Zayn follows, keeping some distance as she nuzzled into the side of Bandit, arms going around his belly in a hug. She looked so small and Zayn was a little terrified about what she was about my say.

She keeps stroking over Bandit as she talks, words flowing freely once she starts. Zayn closes the gap between then, cradling her against his chest as she let's it all out. He cries with her and he understands. He understand why she feels lost and alone and scared. So scared.

"Oh darling. You should tell them. They will understand, you know they will."

"I'm scared. Its really scary, and when I tell them it will be so much more real." Zayn rubs at her back, his other hand moving through her hair.

"I know, but it will get better too. I promise. Its your choice to make, everything you decide is your choice but my advice on this one is to tell them. They won't be angry with you if they know where your head it at. Its something we have all been through, we know." Willow steps back, wiping at her face.

" OK. Yeah maybe. Yes, I will tell him. You sure he won't be angry? I know I have been hard work lately but I do love them, they are my dad's. I don't want to keep disappointing them." Zayn wonders how they all got it so wrong that she had to hide this. Or had he just be naive to think this was something none of their kids would have to deal with.

No matter what they taught them, the world was scary and evil enough to make it not matter.

Zayn takes her hand tugging her gently towards the house.

"Thank you for telling me. I think you are really brave." Willow gives him a small smile, eyes brightening up a little.

Niall is sitting in the living room, arms crossed over his chest face still stony and cold.

He glares at Zayn when they come into the room, his anger shifted to him for stepping in.

Zayn sits across from Niall hands still held tightly in Willows as she sits next to him.

"Willow wants to tell you something and it's hard for her to say." Niall's face softens as he nods motioning for Willow to talk.

"Um.. Well, the thing is, and I know this doesn't excuse my behaviour but it's the reason I have felt the way I have lately. Like a angry and stuff. Um-" She looks to Zayn and he give her a gentle nudge with his side.

"It's OK love." Niall looks nervous, shifting forward in his seat as Willow fish mouths for a couple of seconds, looking terrified.

"I'm.. Well I think, no I'm sure that I am Um... I'm gay." Zayn smiles, he can see the relief leave her as she finally says it to Niall, her shoulder relaxing. She still looks nervous, eyes wide at the words she finally let herself say. Zayn is so proud he feels like his chest is going to burst with it.

"Oh." Niall blinks back at her hand dropping to his lap. "Oh love is that-Willow." Niall gets up from his chair, moving around the coffee table to sit by Willow. He cups her face in his hands, tears in his eyes.

"Thank you for telling me. I am so, so proud of you darling and I love you so much no matter what. I love you." Willow let's out a sob, falling into Niall more, hands gripping at his shirt.

"I love you too Dad." Niall face crumbles as he tucked it into her neck.

Zayn gets up and quietly leaves the room.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Later, when it's dark and Zayn is enjoying the peacefulness of outside, the stars and his cigarette smoke, the soft sound of Bandit moving around his stable and the quite chewing of Peter and Annabelle, Dougie snuffing around nearby, Harry comes out eyes red to match the top of his nose and face blotchy from crying.

Him and Niall had been in Willows from for three hours. Zayn doing the younger kids dinner and putting them to bed, shushing them when they kept asking what was wrong and distracting then by making up stories as he got them dressed and into bed.

Harry takes Zayn's face in his hands, leaning down to kiss him. He holds his lips there breathing through his nose before pulling back.

"Thank you." Zayn coughs to clear his throat.

"No worries. Just doing my Uncle duties. She OK?"

"She is good. Confused but good. It's Cameron, the girl she likes. She told her and I don't think it went well, it's why she was acting out. She is a little heartbroken." Zayn nods, looking out into the dark.

"I get that. I hope she feels more herself soon."

She's young, he thinks, she will get over it.

Xxxxx

Zayn grips on to Niall's sides, feels the way his hips roll as he fucks down on him, his legs tightening around his waist as he pushes himself up then the tensing and the roll as he comes back down.

It's so tight and warm and sweet. His head spins and his breath catches in his throat and he thinks this could end him.

Niall's head is dipped forward, his hair tickling Zayn's forehead as his stares straight into Zayn's eyes.

He can see the pleasure there. Black and wide but somehow also bright.

Its so much. Its too much. Its everything.

"I love you. Oh god Niall I love you. I love you." His head is yanked back, Harry's mouth covering his, keeping him quite.

He can taste the warning in his kiss.

The slight hint of he belongs to me.

The loneliness creeps back in as he empties into Niall, teeth clamping down on Harry's lips.

I know. He could never belong to anyone else. I know

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Zayn can see the shift in Willows relationship with Niall and Harry.  
The tension is gone, and Zayn has heard her call them both dad more then once today.  
He also may have caught Harry crying into his arm in the bathroom after he heard it for the first time.

He was glad he had been here to witness it. It's a moment he will never forget.

Its evening now and Harry and Niall have been quite for a while. The TV is playing quietly in the background some soap with two woman screaming at each other. Zayn was to busy scribbling in his sketchbook to pay it any attention.

He had managed to fill more then half the pages since he had been here. Inspiration hitting him every time he stepped outside and breathed in the fresh air.

He glanced up at Harry and Niall over the top of his book. They where both staring at each other, no doubt talking with just small looks. They were that kind of couple. Zayn's eyes trailed over Harry's face. The swoop to his nose the curve to his chin, the small dimple, ear poking out from his curly hair, the love all over his face. His looks back down at the paper, his hand already tracing what his eyes had been seeing.

An hour later Harry yawned and stretched, attention turning to Zayn.

"What are you drawing?" Zayn doesn't answer him, putting the finishing touch a to Niall hair before turning the page around to show Harry.

His face brightens at the drawing of him and Niall on the sofa.

"That's amazing. Let me have a closer look." Zayn gets up, the heat of Niall's stare making him blush and squirm slightly as he passes Harry his book.

Harry runs his finger over Niall's face gently, careful not to smudge the markings.

"You made him look so beautiful. Its so realistic." Niall leans over to look.

"He got your love sick face pretty spot on too. Make me wanna barf the way you look at me." Zayn laughs as Harry crossed his eyes and sticks his tongue out at Niall.

"You can keep it. I will cut it out later, maybe find a frame for it." Harry puts the book down, taking Zayn's hand and pulling him down onto his lap.

"You beautiful talented man." Zayn shifts on Harry lap to kiss him, sketch book falling to the floor.

Niall watches them, loves seeing them kiss.

Harry deepens the kiss, groaning low in his throat when Zayn hips grind down slightly. Harry hand spreads over his back, lips parting to let his tongue in.

Niall leans down to pick the sketchbook up, knowing Zayn will get annoyed if his new books get crumpled.

The page has changed and Niall found himself staring right into the eyes off Matt.

He startled slightly. It was so real, just like he remembered his eyes being. He hadn't seen Matt for years. Hardly thought of him anymore. This was like looking right into this eyes, like the real Matt was in the room.

Niall flicked through the other pages, careful to not make any noise.

It was page after page of the same thing. Matts face looking back at him.

Smiling. Laughing. With Rae and Elliott, laying in bed. A close up of his mouth, eyes, even one of his hands. Memories.

Niall closed the book feeling like he had invaded a moment that was to personal.

He suddenly wanted to cry. Throat sore with the effort not too.

He still loves him so much and it broke Niall's heart, because there was nothing he could do.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Zayn looks round the inside of the pub, eyebrows raised high.

It was packed, music playing loudly from the jukebox by the bar.

Too many heads for Zayn's liking lifted up to look at them as they stepped in, a few he recognised from the market.

"Hello lads!" Niall nudges Zayn forward leaning over the bar to pull who Zayn presumes is the landlord into a hug.

He was a massive man, red in the face and completely bald, but he looked friendly and in a weird way made Zayn think of Santa clause.

"Has that boy of mine given you two a night out finally!" He shouts to be heard over the music, some country song Zayn did not know but has his hand slapping against his side slightly.

"He sure has! About time too. Jimmy this is me best mate Zayn." Niall yanks Zayn closer to the bar, slinging an arm around his neck.

"Zaynie, this is Jimmy Malcolms. The fine man who gave the world the lovely Tommy Malcolms."

"Tommy?" Niall turns to Zayn, waggling his eyebrows.

"Mr rough hands Tom. Handler of the cow titties. Babysitter from heaven. Jimmy give Zayn your sluttiest drink!" Niall slaps his hand down on the counter. "He was a right tart for Tom the other day. He even considered not smoking for half a second."Jimmy laughs as Zayn blushed and nipped at Niall sides. Jimmy makes Zayn's drink, a vibrant green in a cocktail glass.

"What is it?" he spin the glass looking nervous at its contents.

"Well I have always called it, that green drink that no one orders."Jimmy drops a little umbrella into the glass winking at Zayn.  
"Now I will call it the slutty Zayn!" Niall cackles, head thrown back, body bumping into Zayn's side.

"Its funny cause its true. Harry! Stop flirting and get over here." Zayn looks behind them where Harry was leaning down talking in the ear of a lady that looked to be about eighty.

"Vic, get your claws of me husband. Or I shall order you a slutty Zayn woman." The lady, Vic, laughed hand patting at Harry's cheek before he came over to the bar. Jimmy placed a three pints down on the table then levelled Zayn with a look.

"Go on the lad. Give your slutty Zayn a whirl."

"God, is that name actually going to stick." Zayn lifted the glass to his lips, umbrella bumping against his cheek as he took a small sip. He instantly started coughing, the taste of alcohol so strong his eyes water.

Niall and Jimmy laugh, Niall leaning over the bar again to slap Jimmy on the back.

Harry takes the drink away from Zayn, taking a small sip for himself face screwing up.  
Niall snatches the glass.

"Whimps!" Niall down the rest of the drink in one go. "The lot of ya are Whimps."

"Its only for the Irish boy!" Someone calls from the other side of the bar Irish accent thick. Niall raises the empty glass in the air with a cheer.

Zayn laughs along with everyone, the feeling in the pub contagious.

"A slutty Zayn is very good for the Irish." Zayn snorts, grabbing his pint glass following Harry over to a small booth in the corner.

"I have to admit when you asked if I wanted to go to the pub I was not expecting this at all! It's so fun here." Niall's hand runs along Zayn back as he shimmy past him, finger slipping under his top for a second. Zayn shivers, leaning into the touch as he sits down.

"We got some surprisingly wild folk here Zaynie, wait until its hit about ten. That's when the real fun starts." Harry and Niall share a look, smiling wide. Zayn can't wait to see what ten will bring.

The song on the jukebox changes to a slower one but its still loud enough that Harry and Niall both need to lean into him to be heard. He likes it, having an excuse to be so close to them in public, boxed in between them.

"You know Willows gone to Cameron's tonight?"

"No, what's the about?" Niall shrugs, hand wrapping around his pint glass.

"Cameron text her, asked her to come over to talk. Willow dressed up for it so she better not break her heart. I'm not above slapping a bitch." Harry nods in agreement. Poor Willow, she was never going to escape the overprotect parent mode these to switch into at a drop of a hat.

Niall and Harry talk over Zayn for a while, Zayn happily sipping at his beer as he looks around the bar. It was quite similar to Cassie's, or any other bar back home, but there was something different about it

An added warm and friendliness. When his eyes met someone he received a kind smile or a small head nod in greeting, instead of the glare and the occasional middle finger he was used to when you met someone's eyes in a bar in London.

Everything was just that little bit better here.  
Even the wind was more pleasant. A beautiful rustle sound as it blew through the trees that were everywhere Zayn turned.

He feel more in love with it with every fresh, unclogged breath.

"Hey Z, how did you discover you like being watched?"

"Huh?" Niall rolls his eye fondly, edging a little closer to Zayn.

"How did you find out that you liked being watched when you have sex and stuff. like how does someone discover that about themselves?" Zayn takes a sip from his drink, chuckling to himself when Harry also moves closer, keen look on his face.

"Um, well I guess it started about a year into mine and Matt relationship."He pauses, a slight sting in his chest as he thought back to the first year of his relationship with Matt. It had been so good and fun and sexy. He never thought then that it would end how it did. He never thought it would end.

"We used to go to this club a lot, and I would quite often have people come chat me up when it was my turn to go to the bar to get our drinks. Obviously I would turn them all down, drop Matt into the conversation as soon as I could so they would leave me alone. Then after it had happened a few times he admitted that he found it quite hot to see people flirt with me and asked me to flirt back if I was comfortable with it. So I did, and that night i'm pretty sure I had the best sex of my life." Harry giggled, cheeks going rosy.

"Then after we done that for a bit and I started letting people get a little touchy with me, just simple stuff like hands on my waist or my arm, nothing that could do any harm and he liked it a lot. Eventually he said he wouldn't mind if I let them kiss me so I started dancing with people and let them kiss me. I could always feel his eyes on me and knowing he was looking and getting turned on was pretty hot. Then he asked how I felt about bringing someone home and seeing how comfortable we felt with it going a little further. I ended up having sex with someone the first night we tried it and we both loved it. It did not feel like cheating because we both got enjoyment out of it and both consented to it happening. Matt really liked seeing my from that perspective, getting to see the way I let go off myself during sex and I felt really sexy pleasing him that way." Niall cleared his throat, turning his glass in his hand looking a little flustered.

"And like, did he join in a lot or was in just watching he was interested in?"

"Most the time he watched, he liked instructing the person, telling them what I liked and how to fuck me. Then he would either have a wank while watching or wait until we were done and he would then fuck me right after. Occasionally we picked someone out that he really liked too, and he would then join us. We got a little addicted to it to begin with, but once we started thinking about having kids we cut back then once Rae was living with us it was strictly for when we had a night off. But, I just bloody love it now. I um, yeah need it i guess. I struggled without it." Harry rested a hand on Zayn's knee, giving him a soft smile.

"We really like doing that with you, if it helps. If you feel like its been to long you can come to us. I have been really enjoyed what we have been doing." Niall's hand rest on his other leg, and he leans forward enough that Zayn can feel his breath ghost over his neck. He wished he could lean back into him a little, get close enough to have Niall's lips on the sensitive skin, have Harry kiss his lips, have their hands all over him.

The music on he jukebox changes and a collective groan goes over the pub as Taylor Swift starts to play. Zayn jolts out of his daze, Niall laughing loudly.

"Not Taylor Swift fans these lot!" Zayn lets out a nervous laughs, getting to his feet. He felt weird, thoughts of Matt mixing with the tug of arousal in his stomach.

"I'm going for a fag."

"Don't be long, its nearly ten!" Zayn gives him a nod, sliding past his knees hand eagerly patting his pockets for his fags and lighter.

There is only one other person outside when Zayn slips out the door, he raises his pint to Zayn who smiles back and walks around the side of the building as he lights his cigarette.

He was thankful to Harry and Niall, for wanting to help him and make him happy. Thankful that they enjoyed it and welcomed it.  
But he was single. He was not in a relationship, he was not apart of theirs. He couldn't drop everything and jump in his car to drive up the motorway every time he felt unsettled.

He would have to move on. The thought always made him feel sick. Moving on and fully accepting it was all over for good.

Leaning against the wall, with his foot propped up he slips his phone of out his pocket. He has a few texts from Liam and Cassie that he swipes away and ignores before clicking to read the ones from Matt. He can't remember the last time he looked at his phone and didn't have a message from Matt. Six years and he still had not got out of the habit of telling Zayn every detail of his day as it happened.

Elliott just swam the full length of the pool. You win. Swimming lessons are worth it.

Its hot.

I may have burnt my foot.

Miss you.

Rae just made that really annoying noise that Liam makes when he is outraged. I actually miss that sound. How is everyone?

I love you.

My parents took the kids out to this disco thing, miss you so much when they are not here to distract me.

Miss your laugh. Haven't heard it for so long.

He wondered what it would be like when they stopped. When Matt met someone and he didn't want to tell Zayn anymore because he had another person to tell. Someone who would reply. Someone that would be let into the kids lives. Someone Matt would share a home and a bed with. It's that thought that has him tapping on Matts number. He takes a extra long drag of his cigarette, enjoying the slight burn in his throat before putting the phone to his ear.

It only rings once before Matt answers.

"Zayn hey, hi! Are you OK?" Zayn peaks around the wall to see the man had gone back inside.

"I'm good." They are silent for a bit, Zayn listens to him breathing and can hear what sounds like a mattress squeaking. He pictures Matt in some hotel room, laying down in bed. He clears his throat, the bottom of his belly tightening slightly.

"Did you ring for a reason? I mean you don't have to have a reason you can call me whenever, anytime Z. I just... You sure you are OK?" Zayn steps away from the wall, walking away from the pub a little, everything around him a lot darker now he was away from all the lights.

" I am, I'm good. I just-I don't know."

"I miss you so much baby."Zayn takes the phone away from his ear, shaking his head. Why did he think this was a good idea? He throws his cigarette down stamping on it before bringing his phone back to his ear.

"The kids still out?"

"Oh. Yeah, will be for a couple more hours. Mum thought I needed some time to myself. Which I don't, but it makes her happy to think she has treated me so." Zayn smiled, Bridget, Matts mum was one of Zayn's favourite people. It took her a long time to warm up to Zayn but once she had she was like a second mum. She still came to see Zayn quite a lot, he doesn't think she ever stopped feeling guilty about what her son done.

"At least they are having fun. How dressed up did Rae get?"

"Oh god Z." Matt laughs and the sound makes Zayn's lips tugs up a little. "She spent ages in the bath and when I asked what was taking so long she said she was steaming her pores." Zayn snorted. Rae had been picking up on some of Macy and Rivers beauty tips but had been mixing them up a little, which had some hilarious results.  
"And then she laid on the bed with some cucumber on her eyes while she got mum to paint her nails and then she got my dad to dry and curl her hair. And she put the puffiest dress on." Zayn got an imagine of Matts dad playing hairdresser to Rae and couldn't help but laugh.

"Your dad actually done her hair. Oh man he is smitten." Zayn laughter died down, Matt silent as he waited.

"I missed that sound so much. You have the best laugh, so beautiful."Zayn clears his throat, feeling the heat spread over his face.

" I better go. I'm at the pub with Niall and Harry and they will be wondering what I'm doing."

"You still with them?"

"Yeah, until the weekend" He can feel the tension over the phone. He knows Matt is pissed off, he had made they clear when he snatched the phone of Rae the other day when Zayn had been talking to her and he had overheard Zayn say he was with them.

"You don't get an opinion anymore Matt. You know that."

"I love you."

"What's that got to do with them?" Matt sighs, mattress making noise again.

"I just-it was so good Zayn. I hate that he got to keep yo-" Zayn hangs up, shoving his phone back into his pocket with shaking hands.

He made him so angry that Matt still got jealous. It was a good reminder of why he didn't take him back. He said he would be fine with it but he wouldn't, not really. Maybe at first but it would creep back in again.

Toxic. He just has to keep reminding himself that it would be toxic.

He quickly walks back toward the pub, pushing the doors open a little harder then necessary making a few people turn to look at him.

He looks over to their table to find it empty, with three new full pint glasses waiting. Then he heard the opening notes to Endless Love and Niall's loud cackle. He groaned then slowly turns toward the sound. Niall and Harry are stood on a small stage, only about a foot off the floor and barely enough space for the two of them. Niall is clutching two shots in his hand.

"Zayn! Zaynie boo boo, karaoke!" Niall downs a shot shoving the empty glass in Zayn's direction after and every person in the bar not already looking at him turn in their seats to look. Harry snatches the other shot and swigs it back before stepping up to the microphone to start singing.

Zayn backs toward the tablet, shaking his head frantically when Niall start waving him over.

"Zayn!" Harry slaps Niall across the chest for shouting over his singing, barely getting words out over his smile.

When Niall said it got crazy at ten he was not thinking karaoke. They are idiots.

Niall grabs the mic stand and starts singing with Harry, practically screaming the words into the mic.

Zayn looks towards the bar where Jimmy is cleaning a glass, head slowly shaking as he laughs to himself.

"Zaaayn! Come sing." Zayn sits down at their table, snatching his beer off the table to chug it.

There was no way he was getting on that stage and singing. No way at all.  
Not with all this people watching. At least back home people were more concerned about themselves then who was attempting to sing. Here everyone was watching Niall and Harry closely with fond looks.

Niall and Harry finished the song, both bowing clumsily as everyone clapped and the next song started.

Half an hour later Zayn was squashed between them both singing along to Mr Brightside. It wasn't so bad really.

Xxxx

Zayn was sitting on the windowsill of his bedroom, window cracked open and he smoked. It was 2:46am. They had come back from the pub at midnight and he hadn't been able to settle to sleep yet.

It didn't help that Niall snored like a yeti and Harry talked in his sleep after getting a little drunk.

Moving to his own bed didn't help either. He had gotten use to having Niall and Harry pressed to him while he slept. He didn't want to think about what that meant for his sleep when he went home.

His phones rested on his lap, open on his and Liam's message thread.

He had sent Zayn a pictures of himself pretending to cry as Caleb climbed over his head. Zayn has no idea how Liam is not dead with the lack of sleep he gets.

They had been texting back and forward since, and Zayn was doing a good job of ignoring the string of unread messages Matt had sent after Zayn had hung up on him.

This shouldn't be his life anymore.  
He shouldn't still be fighting with Matt over Niall. It was none of his business anymore.

Why the fuck was he feeling guilty?

His bedroom door creaked open making him jump and quickly throw his cigarette out the window.

Harry stumbled in, rubbing at his stomach and scratching his head.

"Don't worry, I know for a fact Niall sneaks in her to smoke out the window sometimes." Zayn huffs looking down to the ground with a pout.

"Wish I knew that before throwing nearly a whole fag down there." Harry crosses the room, sitting opposite Zayn bringing his legs up to rest either side of his waist.

"Why are you awake?" Zayn asks, closing the window and locking it.

"Niall's snoring woke me, wondered where you had gone." Harry made grabby hands towards Zayn so he shifted to sit between Harry's legs, tugging his arms around his shoulders.

"I'm surprised you heard him over your own talking. Kept going on about putting the cake in the oven on time right in my bloody ear."Harry chuckled, then yawned into Zayn's hair. Zayn could still smell a slight hint of alcohol on his breath.

"Sorry. I get chatty when I'm tipsy, in sleep also it seems."

"S'ok, it was cute."

"Is that what I am? Cute." Zayn smiled looking up at Harry.

"Fluffy cute ball."Harry narrowed his eyes before dipping his head down to kiss Zayn, hand gripping his chin as his thumb runs under his bottom lip.

Kissing Harry was nice. He didn't get the same feeling he did when he kissed Matt or Niall, but it made him feel warm and cared for. Also Harry had amazingly soft lips and he was a pretty decent kisser.

"Where is your head at love?" Harry moved his hand over Zayn's cheek, kissing the tip of his nose before leaning back.

"I don't know. All over the place really. I'm sad Harry." Harry sighs, gently pushing Zayn up.

"Let's go for a walk. Let me just grab a top and I will meet you by the door. We will talk."

Minutes later they are walking down the small road that leads away from the house and towards the village.

Its completely silent and black and beautiful.

Zayn feel more relaxed, the darkness like a security blanket around him.

He reaches out for Harry's hand, his own feeling small once Harry's is wrapped around it. He likes how small and delicate Harry makes him feel.

"It so peaceful, I can see why you and Niall wanted to be here. Don't think my lungs have felt this good for a while, and I smoke nearly a pack of cigs a day." Harry chuckled, thumb smoothing over Zayn's hand.

"Are you and Niall alright?" Zayn asks, glancing over at Harry just making out his face in the darkness.

"Of course we are, why would we not be?"

"I don't know, I guess I was just worried that this thing between us three might be a sign that things were not going well. It's not the kind of thing I expected you to be OK with. Me and Niall." Harry stops walking, tugging at Zayn's hand to spin him around and face him. He wraps an arms around Zayn's waist pulling him until their chest were touching.

"Nothing is wrong I promise, we are perfect. We just love you a lot and I feel like Niall is safe with you and this is something we can all do without things getting messy. Making you and Niall happy is important to me, I enjoy making you both feel good and knowing you are both having fun is really nice." Zayn runs his hands over Harry chest, holding still to feel the steady beat of his heart under his palm.

"I'm really lonely Harry. I don't want Niall to know because it will upset him and stress him out but I am so lonely all the time. I really miss Matt and it hurts every time he brings the kids home and leaves again because it still feels like he should be staying. I still love him and I just want to go back to when it was all OK again, get it right and just have my life back. I want him to stay" It felt good to say it to someone. To admit out loud how much it hurt still, to say out loud that yes, he was lonely and it fucking sucked.

"Oh love, Zayn i'm sorry this is still so hard for you. I wish I could fix it all for you. Maybe you should stop being so angry about what happened, work on forgiving him a bit more. I have, if that helps. I forgive him."

"How? How can you forgive him?" After what Landon had done to Niall, Zayn can't imagine Harry ever getting to a place where he can forgive Matt for bringing Landon to them in the first place. He understands that Matt did not know how out of hand it would get, that he did not know and would have stopped him if he knew what was happening to Niall. But it did happen and Zayn does not know if he could ever get passed it being Matt's fault, how could Harry?

"Look at you Zayn, look what he had." Harry cups Zayn's cheeks, tipping his head back a little until Zayn could make out the glow of Harry eyes in the moonlight. "Can we really blame him? He thought he was going to lose you, and I know he wasn't and I know the right thing to do was talk to you but he must have been so scared. I would have done anything to keep you if I was him. I would do anything to keep Niall. He did not mean for it to go so far, and he ended up losing so much more. He lost us all. Landon is the one I am angry at, the one I will never forgive. Matt I do forgive, he was family and I can't help but still care for him a little. Everyone would understand and be fine with it if you took him back. Its been years and he is still waiting for you, that's love. I don't want you to be lonely anymore, someone as good as you should never be lonely." Zayn looks down, taking Harry's hand away from his face. His eyes burning with unshed tears and his throat tightening.

This is one of the main things holding him back. Niall and Harry forgiving Matt could change things. But would it still work?

"What about my feelings for Niall? If Matt could not cope with it before how will he now? When me and Niall are even closer, when we have been sleeping together. How can I ever be comfortable around him when I would just be waiting for him to snap again. I'm not sure he can be an option now, even with everyone forgiving him. It really sucks because I just want to love him and have a normal relationship with him. It's all I ever wanted. I have only ever wanted him, he was always going to be more then enough for me and he couldn't see that."

"Zayn I can't- only you can decided what you want and what you are willing to try. If you don't want to risk it and end up more hurt then don't, but if you do then you have our support and our love no matter what the end result is. You both will have our support." Zayn takes Harry's hand back in his and starts walking again, thinking over what Harry said.

Was it worth risking getting hurt again?

Maybe. If it went well he could have Matt back and it could possible be like it was before. Elliott and Rae would have their family back together. Was that the right reason to do it? Just for the kids. It could end up hurting them too, now that they were both old enough to really know what was going on if it all fell apart again. Rae can still remember bits and pieces of the break up, but it was fading. Could he really put her through that again, now that it did not bother her so much.

When they get back to the house its nearly half past three and Zayn feels more awake then when he left. Harry follows him into his room, sitting on the edge of his bed as Zayn moves around the room removing his jumper and taking his shoes and socks off. Zayn goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth, Harry silently watching him through the doorway.

Zayn sometimes forgot quite how lucky he was to have Harry in his life. He rinses his mouth out, wiping his face on a towel before switching the light off and walking over to the bed. Harry parts his legs for him, hands going up to Zayn's waist as he moves between his legs.

"Hey, so not sure if you remember but when I was in high school I was a jerk." Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Really? I have no idea what could make you think that." Zayn glared down at him, poking his nose.

"Shut up. What I mean is, well I don't think I ever really thanked you for what you done for me. You and Cassie. You know, with the free lessons and making sure I had somewhere to stay and money for food and shit. It helped, and I think I would have ended up a lot worse if not. And you knew I was a jerk about Liam and you still offered me to come stay with you sometimes which was like really cool of you. Kinda wish I took you up on them offers, you would have probably sorted my arse out a lot sooner if I was under your roof. Would have been easier then waiting for the near death experience that came with a killer headache."

"Don't joke about that." Harry hands tighten around Zayn hips, his eyes sad. "When I heard about your overdose I still hated you but fuck was I worried. So, just don't make light of it please. Not with me. And don't thank me when I didn't do much. Still failed you didn't I. Should have dragged your arse back home with me and given you no choice."

"Hey, don't under estimate your help. You know how many times I wanted to end everything when I was in rehab? Like every hour of every day. If I didn't pick up my guitar, that you gave me by the way, I probably would have. You helped, some of it I had to learn the hard way. now please accept my thanks with dignity Harold." Harry smiled, shaking his head.

"Fine. You are most welcome I accept kisses as rewards." Zayn laughed before leaning down to press his lips to Harry's, fingers tangling in his hair.

Harry thumb digs into the flesh of his hip before dragging his hand around to his stomach, fingers spreading out over his skin. Zayn muscles clench under his touch letting out a soft moan as Harry lick into his mouth.

Zayn enjoyed the way Harry took control. When Zayn was with Niall he was the one in charge, Niall practically putty as soon as Zayn touched him. Which he loved and had dreamed about for so long. But with Harry, it was a part of sex Zayn had missed. Sometimes he needed to let someone else take charge.

Harry slowly tugged the front of his trousers down, just enough to let his half hard cock spring out. He pulls away from Zayn's lips with an wet smack.

"Can I? "

"Yes." Zayn grips Harry's hair tighter, pushing his head down towards his cock.

He wrapped his lips loosely around his tip, tongue slowly dragging across the slit to gather his pre-cum in his mouth before taking him in fully.

Zayn's eyes close head falling back, hips slightly bucking forward as Harry bobbed up and down. 

When he managed to tear his eyes back open and look down his cock gave an almost violent twitch in Harry's mouth at the sight.

Harry looked good sucking cock. All puffy, wet red lips and flushed cheeks, eyes watering from taking Zayn down so far, hair mussed up from Zayn fingers pulling and twisting.

Fuck. Zayn looked away again, hand coming up to run over Harry's lips around his cock, to feel how stretched they are as they work over him.

"Harry" Harry pulls off, tucking Zayn back into his trousers. Zayn falls onto his lap, knees either side of his waist as he kisses him, licking the slight taste of himself from Harry mouth.

Harry lifts him a little, arm muscles tensing under Zayn's hands as he lays him down on the bed, lips never leaving his as he lays between Zayn's legs.

"So beautiful. So beautiful." Zayn let's out a shaky breath, Harry kissing down his neck, kissing sweet words into his skin. By the time he works back up to Zayn lips Zayn is clawing at Harry's top, feet bunching up the loose, soft fabric of his trousers desperate to get him naked.

Harry keeps its slow, placing his hands over Zayn's to stop them. It had Zayn panting into his mouth, then into the pillow when Harry finally sits up to take off his own top. His skin looks so pretty in the moonlight, tattoos to dark to make out across his silky skin. Zayn likes that he knows exactly what ones he is running his fingers over, that he doesn't have to see them to know. Its nice to know someone's body to well.

Harry removes Zayn clothes painfully slow, taking time to kiss and bite at the skin as he reveals it, making Zayn feel like he is a precious gift being unwrapped.

Its different from the other times. He hadn't expected it from Harry. It felt less like fucking and more like making love.

He laughs quietly to himself at the thought making Harry look up at him questionably. Zayn just shakes his head, bringing Harry back up for a kiss, enjoying having his body laid out across his.

"I have lube in my bag." Harry leans back so Zayn can bend over the edge of his bed were he had last throw his bag. He has to rummage for a bit, he thought he would be using his own lube an awful lot while staying here. He never imagined he would be using Niall and Harry's a lot more.

Once the bottle is in his hand he lays back down holding it out for Harry who take it with a small smile, opening the cap.

They were both more then ready to get started. Harry hard against Zayn leg, Zayn's own cock arching painfully towards his stomach.

Harry wiggles back down the bed, playfully poking at Zayn's belly button before slicking up his fingers.

He pushes two straight into Zayn, hand pushing his legs apart more. Zayn moans, hips raising off the bed. He feels a small twinge of guilt suddenly, thinking of Niall across the hallway asleep but it soon goes when Harry spreads his fingers before pushing a third into him.

Harry makes quick work of opening him up, movements suddenly more frantic and the complete opposite of how he had undressed him.

"M'ready. Ready." Harry pulls his fingers out, wiping them on the bed before positioning himself back above Zayn, hand gripping his dick to line himself up.

He pushes in slowly, Zayn gasping as he feels every inch of Harry drag against him. Harry lowers himself down until his chest is pressed to Zayn's, kissing him deeply and slowly as he waits for Zayn to adjust around him. Once Zayn has relaxed and is started to grind his hips impatiently, Harry grips his legs and hooks them over his waist before slowly thrusting into him.

Zayn claws at Harry's back, choked off moans being pressed to Harry's shoulder as they roll their hips together movements lazy and intense.

Its been so long since Zayn has been held and fucked like this. Since he felt so loved and looked after.

"Harry." He sounded desperate, voice breaking as he whispers Harry name. Harry kisses him again, hand pushing through his hair.

"Its OK, I got you." Zayn nodded, body shaking as Harry picked up the pace a little.

Niall had told him before that one of his favourite things about Harry was how he always seemed to know exactly what Niall needed, even when Niall himself did not know.  
He knew when he needed a hug. When he needed a tea. When he needed a snack. A book, time alone, a kiss, a quick hard fuck, a slow drawn out soft and loving fuck.

Zayn had always been a little jealous of it. They had this thing that went beyond what even Zayn had with Matt.

But now he was getting it. Harry knows want he needs. He knows and Zayn didn't and its so much.

Harry movements gradually grow more frantic the closer he gets to his orgasms, bringing Zayn along with him.

He can feels tears burning the back of his eyes, the warmth spread from his heart and down to his stomach, his whole body tensing before curling into Harry, legs tightening and hands touching whatever they could.

They come together, Harry moaning Zayn's name into his mouth, while Zayn just tries not to cry with how good his orgasm feels. How it makes him black out for a second, makes his toes and finger tingle, how he just keeps coming and coming all the way up to his chest soaking him and Harry. How warm and full he feels as Harry comes inside him, so much that it starts to trickle back out before Harry has even finished moving into him.

Harry waits until Zayn's breathing settles down again then pulls out, keeping Zayn's legs around him as he lays on his side, bringing Zayn's head to his chest. He didn't seem bothered at all by the sticky mess and the sweat, surprisingly neither did Zayn. He was more then happy to lay here in his own mess.

Harry keeps him close, one hand smoothing over his back while the other plays with Zayn's fingers that are resting on Harry's chest by his chin.

Harry doesn't talk. He stays so quite as he holds Zayn, occasionally pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Zayn can feel sleep starting to creep into his bones. Head going heavy and his eyes fluttering. He wonders if Harry feels the same.

"There is something I should tell you." Harry shifts slightly so he can look down at Zayn.

Zayn avoids looking back up, his heart speeding up. He had been avoiding thinking about this. Talking about it to either of them. Pretending he never done it.

"Matt took the kids a few days before I came here. It's the longest they have ever left for and I was already in a bad place in my head, and the kids are the thing that keeps me going. They stop me falling into this never ending black pit and they make it a little easier. So when they left I shut myself away and ignored everyone and I just let it take over. I missed them as soon as they left and it just felt like they were never coming back."Zayn turns his face until his nose brushed across Harry's chest, he kissed the skin tasting the saltiness of Harry's sweat. A 'I'm sorry' and 'please forgive me' hidden in the small kiss.

"I brought some cocaine" Harry sits up, arms bringing Zayn with him as he grabbed for his face eyes wide with worry.

"Zayn"

"I didn't take any. I promise I didn't. I got home and I was ready to, I was about to. Then Liam sent me this picture of Caleb and its was his fucking eyes you know. I shoved it in one of the kitchen cupboards and threw random shit in a bag and came straight here." Harry is nodding and shushing Zayn before he finishes talking.

" I know love, I believe you, and I am so proud that you made that choice. Thank you for telling me and thank you for coming here. I just wish I knew how much you were struggling." Harry's voice sounds thick with emotion, and Zayn feels so bad for making him upset.

"I'm sorry I went there, I should have just come here as soon as the kids left, I knew I would find it hard. Can we please not tell Niall, I don't want him to worry. I know you don't like lying to him but I don't want him to know"

"OK, we won't say anything, whatever you want. Let's just... Go join him in bed should we? Big snuggle and get some sleep. Kids will have us up soon but we need some sleep OK?" Harry is out of bed, helping Zayn to his feet.

His hands are shaking and Zayn knows he has throw Harry a little with his confession. That Harry will feel guilty for not knowing how hard Zayn was finding things. Maybe he should have stayed quite about it.

Harry checks the hallway before the both dart across, completely naked into Harry and Niall's room.  
Niall is still fast asleep, snoring softly with a deep frown on his face.

Zayn climbs in first, Harry tucking in behind him, long arms reaching over his waist and across Niall. Niall's face smooths out, a happy sigh leaving his lips. Zayn carefully kisses him before settling back against Harry and closing his eyes.

"Love you." Zayn smiles, squeezing Harry's arms.  
"Love you too."

Xxxxxx

Zayn follows Niall closely though the market, eyes drifting off to look at the different stalls as they move though the crowd. He thought the atmosphere would be different this time, now that he had already been, but it still had a magical warm glow to it. He had been pleasantly surprised to find different stalls then last time and had enjoyed stopping to talk to a few new faces, Niall proudly introducing him each time.

Niall fit so well here, in a small village where everyone knew each other and cares for each other. It suited him and it made him glow so much more then London ever did.

It was hot today and Niall kept tugging the collar of his t shirt away from his chest to flap the material around. Each time he done it a small strip of his back would be exposed and the ball of arousal in Zayn's stomach got tighter.

"Ni, do you mind if we stop on at the art shop again?" Niall looked up from were he had been examining some homemade brackets for the twins, face squinting in the sun.

"You have been painting a lot huh?" He turns back to the stall, holding two up for the lady to see before handing her some money.

"I have been pretty inspired I guess. Mostly just random stuff, but think I have done a few bits Macy can sell for me."

"That's good."Niall shakes his head at the offer of a bag and instead slips the bracelets onto his own wrist before grabbing Zayn's hand and dragging him away from the main market and towards the row of shops. He drops Zayn's hand as soon as they are out of the crowd giving him a sheepish smile.

"Sorry. You want to get some food in a bit? There is a really nice cafe at the bottom of the road."

"Yeah sounds good." Zayn opens the door to the art shop, bell jangling above their heads as they walk in.

The shop had the same smell to it that all craft and art shops seem to have. Paint and a slight chemical smell, a hint of fabric. It makes Zayn think of his studio in his old house, which is never a good place for his mind to wonder to. He makes himself focus on looking at the shelf's, hand running over a display of pencils as he passes, Niall tutting and rolling them back the way they were.

"What do you need?" Niall talks quietly, front pressing up against Zayn's back as they slowly walk up the aisle. The warmth of his body spreads over Zayn making him feel a little flustered.

"Probably another sketch book and last time we came in I saw this cool pencil set I wouldn't mind. Small bit of green paint, maybe some red. I got this idea.." Zayn trails off Niall's hand wrapping around his wrist as he sped up a little.

"Just want to try this thing, and I got this idea. Was thinking about something." Zayn trails off again, Niall laughing to himself as he stops to grab a paintbrush and wave it in front of Zayn face.

"That is a great explanation. I really get what you are hoping to do. Good idea."Zayn huffs swatting the brush away, looking down at Niall's hand in his.

"I don't know how to explain it, will show you if I get it done before I leave. You are going to make people think you are having an affair you know." Niall waggles his eyebrows, shoulder bobbing up and down.

"We could be the talk of the town Zayn. Ooo did you see Niall with that mysterious sexy dark haired stud, its an affair I tell you." Niall gasps, throwing his head back dramatically.

Zayn is going to miss him. Oh god he is going to miss him so much.

"You are making me want to kiss you, idiot."Niall giggled.

"Now that dear would make people think I'm having an affair." Zayn starts walking again, arms pulled back as Niall trails slowly behind him.

"I don't think anyone would think that anyway. Like you could get me, I'm too handsome."Zayn scoffed, looking over his shoulder.

"Excuse you, I think you will find it is you that could not get me. Have you seen my face. Its like amazing Niall. People would not put this face with your face."

"Oh shut up. You want my face badly and everyone can probably tell. Bet they can even tell you came all over it." Zayn shushes him, hand slapping over his mouth.

"Ni! People have ears you know." Niall frowns moving Zayn's hand away.

"The shop is empty. Only us. And the lady at the counter who is like deaf."

"Still be careful. I don't want you and Harry to actually be the talk of the town or anything. The weird couple that fuck their best friend."

"Liam is my best friend, so that would be really weird."Zayn picks up a brush and throws it towards Niall's head, smirking as it smacks into his forehead.

"Ouch ya dickhead." Zayn ignores him, carrying on up the aisle towards the paint. Niall rushes to catch up, pressing up against Zayn's back again.

"Now I can't stop thinking about you coming on my face."

"Niall!"

"Just saying. Don't act like you ain't thinking about it. Can I suck your dick tonight?" Zayn sighs rubbing at his eyes. What was it with Niall and Harry being constantly turned on.

"You are going to make me hard. I am wearing skinnies please don't make me hard." Niall does a quite evil laugh reaching up to tug at Zayn's hair.

"I miss Harry." Zayn bends down to look at some colours on the lower shelf.

"Well go suck his dick then and leave me to shop in peace." He stands back up straight thinking about maybe grabbing some purple while he is here. Niall's hands slides round to his stomach, finger spreading before curling and digging into the softness.

"Harry fuck you last night while I was asleep?" Zayn swallows, heat spreading over him, flashes of last night flashing through his head.

"Yes." Niall makes a content noise, nose brushing over Zayn's ear as his hand drags round to the back of his jeans, tips of his fingers pushing into the waistband.

"He take good care of you?" Zayn opens his mouth to reply but no sound comes out so he just nods instead.

"Good. It's hot. Makes me so hot thinking of you two fucking." His hands goes back round to Zayn's front, moving down to cup his dick over his jeans. Zayn gasps loudly, hand flying out and knocking into the paints in front of him.

"How did he fuck you?" Niall's hand runs slowly over Zayn, heel of his hand pushing down hard. Zayn starts to harden, pushing against the material in a way that is both painful and so good.

"Slow. Was slow." Niall groans, head dropping to Zayn's shoulder.

Zayn looks down, biting hard on his lip to stop himself moaning loudly at the sight of Niall's hands moving over his erection.

"Wish I saw. He feels good doesn't he, so fucking good. Maybe you could fuck me like that tonight show me how it was. Slowly fuck into me. Would ruin me, would be a mess I reckon." Zayn can already feel himself getting close. He is so aware that they are in the middle of a shop, that someone could walk around the corner at any second, but he is so close to coming he can barely care.

" Niall, Ni I-" Zayn's head falls back to Niall's shoulder, his breath quickening as his stomach tightens and tightens and his skin burns and his eyes roll.

Then Niall's hand is gone and he is pushing away from Zayn.

"Mrs Bailey, how are you?" Zayn stumbles forward, gripping onto the shelf. He feels a little like he has been punched in the stomach. He was so close, seconds away from spilling into his boxers. He glances over to Niall who is smiling and looking relaxed as he talks to Mrs Bailey. Right now Zayn hates bloody Mrs Bailey.

He turns his back to them to hide his erection, not able to adjust himself until she has gone.

His hands shake as the drag across the shelf and the slight movement almost sends him tumbling over the edge anyway.

He let's out a shaky breath, eyes wide as he tried to clear his head.

He doesn't move until he hears Niall say goodbye and the sound of footsteps have faded. He turns slowly, already adjusting his hard dick.

Niall looks him up and down with a shrug.

"Shame. Come on grab ya stuff I am starving." Niall walks of, whistling loudly.

Zayn frantically grabs what he needs, still shaking as he takes it to the counter and pays, so aware of Niall leaning by the door watching him.

Its not going to go. His erection is not going to go.  
He sends Niall a panicked look and he knows Niall knows because he looks so smug.

He stumbles out the shop Niall's hand pressed to his back feeling like fire.

"Niall I need to-"

"We need to get food, I know. Good boy." Zayn's head falls back a little, Niall's hand shooting up to push it back.

"Sort your head out love, you look completely out of it."Zayn takes a deep breath, eyes blinking as he looks around him, sure everyone is going to know as soon as they look at him that he is hard and on the edge of coming. He feels a little confused. Dazed, too hot, turned on but mostly confused.

"Was... was I not suppose to sleep with Harry? I'm sorry." Niall stops walking turning Zayn to face him. He tilts his head to the side, lips pursed out as he looks Zayn up and down.

"I'm not punishing you, if that is what you mean. You sleeping with Harry is not a problem." Niall starts to walk off, Zayn reaching out for his t shirt so he doesn't walk too fast. He is sure the friction would make him come if he has to rush to catch up.

"Then what are we doing? Niall I need to come. It's not going to go unless I come. I need to go somewhere." Niall looks over at him, a small smile on his face.

"Do you know how good you look right now? I don't want you to come." They come to a stop outside what Zayn guessed to be the cafe. He looks in to see the place nearly empty, a young girl leaning over the counter looking bored.

"But I need-"

"I need you to stop whining. You are not coming because I don't want you to. Spoil me yeah?" Zayn grumbles, face screwing up.

"You are a bitch." Niall beams back at him leaning over to pull the door open, motioning for Zayn to go inside.

"They do really good pizza here, wanna share one with me?" Zayn takes the table closest to the door, figuring it means a quicker exit. He has to sit slowly, dick pressing into his jeans as he bends. Niall watches him,eyes shining with amusement as he sits opposite him.

"Yes I will share a pizza with you, then I am punching you in the face." Niall laughs loudly turning to get the waitresses attention.

"Kinky. Hi, can we have two colas please and a cheese pizza." The waitress gives Niall a bored look then walks off into the kitchen.

"So have you heard from the kids today?" Niall asks, turning back to Zayn.

Zayn lets out a loud sigh, giving in to the fact that Niall really was going to torture him until his dick fell off.

"I spoke to Elliott but Rae was already off swimming." The talk about the kids until their food arrives, then the subject switches to the children books, Niall giving Zayn more details about what he has planned. Zayn has not told Niall yet but he had already sketched out quite a few pictures for the book, based on what he read in the draft Niall showed him. He thinks what he has done so far matches up pretty well to what Niall has been picturing so he was glad he would not have to go back and scrap them all.

Niall lit up when he started talking about a possible book tour, about how fun it would be to go hotel to hotel together. Niall struggled on book tours, Zayn knew that thanks to the many phone calls he would get in the middle of the night with Niall whinging about how he could not sleep without Harry, so it was nice to know him being there was helping him enjoy the experience a little more.

He chewed his pizza slowly, Niall's voice drowning out as he starts to think about fucking Niall in hotel rooms. Would Harry let him? Was this thing even going to carry on after he left? Harry did say he could come to them whenever he wanted, but was it different rules being in a hotel with Niall and no Harry. Maybe if they done a video call.

He needs to stop thinking about sex.

He really needs to stop thinking about sex with Niall.

"I wish this town was not so small." Zayn turns back to Niall, picking up another slice of pizza.

"What are you on about, you love living in a small town. Love everyone knowing your name and stopping you to talk." Niall shrugs looking out the window.

"I know it's just-" He leans back in his chair, eyes suddenly back on Zayn, his stare intense, burning into him.  
"I want to hold your hand, like over the table you know. Like a date, want this to be like a date." Zayn swallows, throat going dry as he thinks of Niall dressing up for him, taking him out somewhere. Holding his hand, fingers playing with his, brushing hair from his face before kissing him.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Not that this is where I would take you on a date mind. Still, it would be nice to act how I want to. Without it spreading round by the end of the day." Niall picks up his pizza slice shoving nearly half into his mouth, sauce spilling over to the side of his lips.

"Sexy." Niall waggle his eyebrows, purposefully chewing with his mouth open.

He won't ever get to date Niall, but he was happy with just knowing Niall wanted to.

Niall is wiping his mouth with a napkin when a different waitress then they had before starts heading back over to them. Niall smirks and Zayn is about to ask what he has planned when Niall's foot presses to his crotch. Heat instantly swells in his balls and up to his stomach.

He looks down, a tingle of pleasure trickling up him, Niall's socked foot slowly rubbing against him.

"Don't you fucking dare."

"Hey boys, enjoying your pizza?" Zayn hands smacks loudly against the table as he shuffles forward, hoping she can't see Niall's foot moving against him.

"Hey Sal, pizza was great as always. Wasn't it?" Niall turns to look at Zayn, face completely innocent as he waits for Zayn to answer. Zayn flushes, clenching his fist to stop himself reaching under the table to grab Niall's foot.

"Yes." Niall grinned, leaning forward to rest his chin in his hands.

"Sal, this is my friend Zayn. Say hi Zayn." Zayn's lips parted, a small groan coming out as he made himself look back up at the waitress.

"Hello." Niall digs his heel in, making Zayn lurch forward chest hitting the table, breath coming out in a puff, his dick throbbing.

Niall's foot stops moving and Zayn almost sighs with relief but then he starts to circle it and Zayn can feel the tip of his dick pushing into the zip of his jeans, the foreskin pulling back slightly.

Niall glances over at Zayn, making a humming noise to whatever Sal was saying, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

Zayn twitches in his jeans. He could feel himself getting wet against his leg and he couldn't work out if he was completely fine with coming right here and now or if he wanted to break Niall's foots.

"You want any pudding?"

"I'm good, you want some pudding Z?" Zayn glares at him, hips lifting off his seat a little.

"No thanks." Sal nodded with a smile, taking both their plates sending Zayn a confused look before walking off.

Niall starts laughing as soon as Zayn's hand wraps around his ankle.

"You fucking arsehole." Zayn pushed his hips out again, hand tightening around Niall's foot as he moaned quietly before he let's go, Niall letting his foot drop back to the floor.

"You looked like you were about to bust a nut, bet she could tell." Zayn whined dropping his face into his hands.

"What is up with you today? God, can we go so I can have what is going to be the quickest wank know to man." Niall snorts, gathering up his wallet and phone.

"You don't want me to sort it out?"

"I don't think you deserve my penis right now."

"Penis." Niall giggles, sliding out from the table.

"You are a five year old." Niall sticks his tongue out, going over to the counter to pay. Zayn glares at his now shod foot.

"Do you want to go anywhere else?" Niall asks once they are out the cafe and walking back towards the car.

"I currently have the most uncomfortable hard on tucked very awkwardly into my tightest pair of jeans, I'm pretty sure if I walk more then I have to I'm going to come. So no, I don't" Zayn was not even sure he was walking normally right now. Every step sent vibrations over his dick. It felt good, but Zayn really was not into ruining his pants in front of a bunch of strangers.

"Holy shit!" Niall shoves against Zayn, sending him tumbling towards a small alleyway between two shops.

"What the hell?" Niall shushes him, hands flapping over his mouth. Zayn frowns, slapping his hands away.

"Look, look, look" Zayn follows where Niall is pointing, eyes narrowed as he tries to work out what has got him so excited.

"What?"

"Over by the shop with the green door. Quick before they move." Zayn's eyes roam down the row of shops until he finds the green door and...

"Oh. Oh"

Willow is stood a couple of steps away from the door looking down the road with a smile on her face. Behind her is Cameron, hand held loosely in Willow's while the other rummaged in her bag.

"Do you think?"

"I don't know." Niall and Zayn huddle closer together as they peak around the wall more.

Willow must say something because Cameron suddenly laughs and looks over to her. Willow turns, tugging Cameron closer before pressing a small kiss to her lips.

Zayn and Niall both gasps, Zayn hitting Niall shoulder.

"Kiss!" A few people passing glance at the two girls before carrying on.

"Oh god, a kiss. Fuck, I am so bloody proud of her. Do you think she is OK? What if that was her first time in public? What if she is scared? Should we go over? What if someone says something , I should be there to defend her right?"

Zayn can't believe that the same girl who just a few days ago was scared to tell her dad's that she was gay was out in the middle of the street kissing another girl.

A girl she loved.

Oh god now he was going to cry and come.

"I think she is fine. Nobody is saying anything and they both look really happy. Niall she looks so happy. God this place is amazing, like nobody cares. You and Harry were so right about moving here. Your girl is amazing." Niall's hand curls around Zayn's shoulder, yanking him back onto the wall.

Zayn only had about half a second to register the desire on Niall's face before he is kissing him.

Zayn kisses back quickly, parting his lips to let Niall's tongue in. He moans, finger's gripping onto Niall's waist as his taste fills his mouth and seeps into him.

Niall presses him harder against the rough brick behind him, his leg slotting between Zayn's.

Zayn's hip are rolling before Niall has even pressed his thigh fully against his dick.

Moans tumble constantly from Zayn, muffled and silenced by Niall's mouth, lips and tongue working perfectly with his.

How is he going to give this up?

He holds Niall to him tighter, kisses him harder and rubs against him quicker.

He can still feel him slipping away.  
Less then a week.  
He has less then a week with him.

"Niall, I'm gonna-oh fuck, Ni I'm so close, gon- no Niall." Niall steps back, wiping at his mouth, laughing as he runs out the alleyway.

"You fucking shit." Zayn moves forward, letting out a whimper as his hard on rubs harshly against his jeans, head going fuzzy.

"Fuck." He braces his hand against the wall and considers wanking right this second to just finally come.

He looks at the end of the alleyway.  
Being caught wanking in public was probably a lot worse then getting caught with a married man.

"Fucking cunthead."

By the time Zayn gets to the truck Niall has the engine on, bobbing along to the radio.

Zayn climbs in slamming the door as hard as he can. His dick was constantly throbbing, it hurt and he was pissed off.

"You OK there Zaynie? Took your time."

"Fuck you, you Irish twat. When we get back I'm coming on your pillow." Niall laughed, head flung back.

Zayn hates how beautiful he looks.

"I'm not against sleeping on your come." Zayn groans slouching back in his seat.

"Just go. I'm so fucking horny I might actually throw up. Holy fuck Niall." Zayn drops his legs open, screwing his eyes shut.

"Its like... You have been fucking edging me all day. I just need a little." He reaches for the button on his jeans, feeling pretty confidante he can touch himself now he is in the car.

Niall's hand gently takes Zayn's wrist moving his hand away.

"No, not yet. Got plans for you." Zayn's whole body shakes at that, hands falling limp to his sides. 

"Quick plans yeah?" Niall chuckles, pulling out of the parking spot.

"Oh love, I'm going to take you to hell and back." Zayn hits the back of his head against the seat, feet stomping on the floor like a child.

"Already in hell I would say. It hurts, my dick really fucking hurts."

"Does it actually though?" Niall reaches out to gently run his fingers around the outline of Zayn's bulge. He grips the door handle, arching up into the touch.

"OK no, its good. So good, fuck. Please." Niall gives him one hard, quick squeeze then places his hand back on the wheel.

"Later." Zayn mimicked him, pulling a face before crossing his arms, leg bouncing.

Maybe being single is not so bad. Nobody to tease you and to stop you from having a nice wank.

Niall pulls up to a junction, pressing on the break harder then necessary. The belt tightens against Zayn and he let's out a hiss at the feeling. Niall giggles, head turning to look for traffic.

"Fuck you. You know you're just going to make me come untouched. That would ruin your plans."

"Not really. My plans will still be good, just have to get you worked up again. Not that hard." Niall pulls out, fingers drumming on the wheel as he drives.

"Are you implying I'm easy?"

"Are you currently sat in my truck seconds from coming?"

"Not because I'm easy, you have been teasing me. You are mean. I won't miss you at all when I go." Niall pouts, flicking Zayn's ear.

"You will. And you will think back to this moment and cherish the memory of your throbbing dick. Your pulsating penis"

"You're a fucking idiot." Niall crackles loudly, slapping the wheel with his hand like he thinks he is the funniest person alive. Which he probably does.

"Harry is going to love hearing about this. Can't wait to tell him about my productive day. Might wait until he is fucking me, he likes when I talk about you."

"Since when?"

"Since you got here and he suddenly decided he liked the idea of your dick up my arse." Zayn takes the chance to press down on himself a little while Niall is focused on the road.

He is starting to makes his jeans damp and it feel tacky and gross but also kind of really sexy.

"Shit." His eyes flutter closed, head rolling to the side as he keep rubbing at himself, thinks of Harry and Niall together, how good they look.

"Stop that." Niall slaps his wrist, then grabs it and yanks it away when Zayn does not stop.  
"You're acting like an animals."

"Oh fuck you." Niall huffs out a laugh.

"You will be, but not yet." Zayn sits up, shaking his head.

"No, nope. No way. Stop the car." Niall frowns, hands tightening on the wheel.

"What, you going to sneak into the bush for a wank? We will be home soon."

"Stop the car." Niall looks over, licks his lips then looks away again.

"No." Zayn slams his hand down on the dashboard, Niall jumping.

"Stop the fucking car now!" Niall pulls over, eyes rolling as Zayn rips his seat belt off then reaches over to unbuckle Niall's.

Zayn's hands are shaking so much he takes three attempts to open the car door. He slides out as soon as the doors opens, spinning back round to Niall, glaring.

"On your front." Niall's eyes widen, head snapping back and forward as he looks around the road.

"I don't thinks so." Zayn growls, leaning back into the truck to grab Niall's leg and yank as hard as he can. Niall slides easily on the leather seats, back slamming into the door as Zayn pulls him until he is on his back, feet dangling out by his side.

Zayn leans over him, purposefully makes himself look angry as he stares down at him.

"On your front now." He watches Niall's throat bob as he swallows then he turns onto his stomach, hands by his head gripping onto the seat.

Zayn places his hand on his back, taking the time to enjoy this moment. Niall laid out for him. He is back in control which is just what he needs.

He takes his time pulling Niall's jeans and boxers down, watching the rise and fall of his back get more frantic as his breathing speeds up.

He leaves them just under the swell of his arse, cupping his cheeks with his hands pulling them apart.

Niall makes a noise, face pressed into the seat as Zayn presses his thumb against his hole.

"So pretty." He bends down, replacing his thumb with his mouth. Niall makes a choked off garbled sound, arse lifting up to press into Zayn's face and he licks into him.

He is purposefully messy, making Niall wet for him as he opens him with his tongue.

Zayn looks up, lifting Niall's top up a little so he can see the flush spreading over his back. He makes the best sounds during sex, Niall does, so desperate and so into it.

Zayn drags his fingers over the curve of Niall's spine, watching the skin turn white from the pressure before slowly fading back to red.

"Zayn" Zayn starts licking into him faster, face pressed between his cheeks, breathing heavily out of his nose.

He waits until Niall's noises are high pitched, almost shouting, and he is clenching around his tongue and can feel his legs start to shake with the build up of his orgasm. Then he stops, straightening back up and wiping his mouth on his arm as he quickly looks around to make sure they are still alone.

Niall is starting to lean up on his elbows, head turning. The flush has spread up his neck and over his cheeks, his eyes dark and blown, swollen bitten lips parted as he pants.

Zayn's head is spinning as he pushed his jeans down, gripping the base of his dick tightly so the movement of pulling himself out doesn't make him come.

He won't last long. Will defiantly come before Niall, but right not he is not thinking of Niall. He just needs to come, and he wants to use Niall to do it.

He twists his hand in Niall's top as he lines himself up, Niall's head falling back down with a happy sigh as he waits for Zayn to push into him.

He goes slow, the drag still a little dry, and it takes a lot of effort not come at the sounds Niall makes as he goes deeper and deeper. He is clawing at the seat now, one hand wrapped around the wheel until his knuckles go white. He pushes back against Zayn, pushing him the rest of the way in.

"Fuck." Zayn bites down on his lip, hand pressing down hard on Niall's back, the heat and the tightness overwhelming.

He moves back again until just the tip of his dick is in Niall then he slams back in. He starts fucking him with short, hard thrusts, focused only on chasing his own orgasm. Niall's body jolts with each movement, his hand dropping from the wheel to push against the door.

Zayn grabs his legs, bending them and holding them by his waist. It makes Niall tighter, makes Zayn go in deeper.

Niall cries out, followed by a sob as he starts to fuck back into Zayn.

Zayn grunts, eyes rolling, pulling tighter at Niall top and then he is coming.

He feels like he goes on for ages, wave after wave of pleasure rolling over him as he spills and spills onto Niall.

"Shit Niall." he drops his head down onto Niall's back, searching for his hand, still moving into Niall, letting himself come down slowly.

Niall holds his hand tightly as Zayn presses kisses to the back of his neck, nose nuzzling into his hair.

He doesn't pull out straight away, still enjoying the feeling of Niall around him, being so close to him.

Niall turns his head, lip puckering out for a kiss. Zayn lifts himself up more happy to give Niall want he wants, lips moving slowly together as he eases out of him.

Niall turns, grunting in annoyance when he jeans twist. Zayn steps back, tucking himself back into his jeans, eyes on Niall's erection.

He is very obviously waiting for Zayn to do something about it.

Zayn smirks grabbing the waistband of Niall's jeans and yanking them back up and over his dick. 

"Hey! I didn't come." Zayn pats his cheek, pushing his legs back into the truck.

"I don't want you to come love. I got plans for you. Going to take you to hell and back. You can wait."Niall huffs kicking his feet out towards Zayn's chest.

"Don't be a prick. " Zayn keeps shoving Niall until he is sitting up in the drivers seat.

"Oh, but I thought you liked this kind of thing? Don't worry Ni, I will make you come eventually. Now get driving we are nearly home." Niall starts the engine up, glaring at Zayn before pulling back out onto the road.

"You know, I can't wait to tell Harry about this later." Zayn turns his head to the side, laughing to himself when he sees the pout on Niall's face. "Maybe I will tell him about it while he is fucking me." Niall raises his middle finger in the air.

"Screw you. You ain't getting him or me. We don't want you"

"Yeah whatever. You think we have time to fuck again before the kids come home?" Niall sighs, turning into the track that leads to the house.

"Yes. I guess we do."

Xxxx

Zayn is laid back on one of the empty shelf's in the barn, leg swinging as it hangs down.

Tom had called this morning to let Harry and Niall know he had received an OK to let his birds back out, so Zayn had spent the morning watching Niall and Harry let the chickens out in the paddock and clean the barn up a little.

Of course with it being Harry and Niall, who Zayn still compared to two teenagers freshly in love, it ended in sex.

Zayn tugged at his lower lip as he looked across at them.

Niall had his hands braced against the wall, head hanging down as Harry fucked into him.

Zayn was hard, cause of course he is. People are having sex in front of him. Two very good looking people.  
He just was not really in the mood.

He could see Harry looking over every now and then, his frown getting a little deeper and his movements more harsher each time he took note of Zayn's lack of interest.  
At least Niall was benefiting from it.

Maybe they had been doing it too much.  
Maybe Zayn was growing bored.  
Maybe this was getting Niall out of his system.

He looked at Niall.

No. Still very much in his system.

While Harry seems to be slightly put out by Zayn lack of interest, Niall barely notices.

Zayn loves how lost in Harry Niall looks when they have sex. Love, there is just so much love there its almost unbelievable.

He can remember that, with Matt. How lost in him he would get, how consumed by him. He could feel like Matt was sinking into, every pore every bone in his body just filled with parts of Matt. Everywhere he touched and kissed always left with a small trail of the man he held closest to his heart.

So much of him had become apart of Zayn that he could still feel him there. Rushing around his body.

They didn't have sex as much as Harry and Niall do, he doesn't think anyone has sex as much as Harry and Niall do, but they did it a lot, and it always felt like so much. It never got any less never meant any less. He wished so much that he had known the last time would really be the last. He would have held him tighter, kissed him longer, pulled the blanket over them and never let him leave.

He thinks back to when they first ever had sex, in Zayn's small room at the rehab centre. The one bonus of his parents guilt getting him into a private facility was getting his own room. He only had four days left, but he and Matt had been talking for weeks by this point and Zayn had spent days wanting him.

The plan was to start seriously dating once he was out. Matt was still training to be a counsellor, neither of them wanted to do anything to ruin that. Shagging a current patient would probably do just that.

Matt would sneak into his room most nights before going home, with some snack he had gotten from the staff vending machine. This time was used to curl up in the dark and get to know each other. Confess things they had never confessed before, and fall in love.

Four days left and they both snapped.

Matt had tore a hole in Zayn's top with how eagerly he had pulled his clothes off, and then he fucked him against the wall. Then again in the bed. Again on the floor. He had to hide in Zayn's wardrobe when a nurse came in to do the night check, barely keeping his giggles down, then they did it once more before he left.

Zayn loves the start of relationships, not that he had experienced many and the longest one he had before Matt was not really the best, he loved how you just couldn't get enough of the person you were with.

The sex slowed down a little, after a few weeks they didn't feel the need to sneak into bathrooms or any hidden corner to have sex or give each other a quick blowjob, but it all still carried on feeling the same.

Seeing him wake up, seeing him smile and laugh, feeling his skin on his own, cuddling, kissing, talking, sex. It all stayed feeling the same.

Matt devoured Zayn. Left him a brainless, mindless, wreaked, warm, panting mess. Always loved.

He feels Harry's eyes on him again so he unzips his jeans, sliding his hand down to rub at himself.

He is achingly hard now, dripping.

He settles back, finds a position that doesn't have wood sticking into his shoulder and closes his eyes.

He thinks of how Matt used to feel between his legs. Solid and sure. How it felt when he pushed into him, gripping him tightly and always looking straight into his eyes.  
He thinks about the warmth of his mouth around him, his eyes as he looked up.  
His hands spreading over his body, wrapping around his dick, fingers sliding into him.  
He thinks of Matt's lips pressed to his ear. Whispering how good he was, how loved he was, how he belong to Matt. Would always belong to him, never leaving him.

Zayn orgasm hits him suddenly and with a cry he spills into his boxers, hand still rubbing over his length.

He turns his head, pushing his mouth into his arm as he shakes with it.

When it finally stops, his body slumps jolting a couple of times with the aftershocks.

Jesus. He has barely been touching himself.

He slides his hand back out, grimacing at the mess on his hand.

He wipes his hand on a random cloth hanging by his head and hopes its not important. Although the thought of Harry grabbing it to find Zayn's come on it was kinda funny.

He looks over to Niall and Harry to see if they had finished up to find them getting dressed. Harry was looking down at the floor, body turned away from Zayn. Niall was looking right at him, arms pushing trough the sleeve of his top, a sad look on his face.

"What? Don't tell me wonder dick there didn't make you come?" Harry looks up, the same look on his face.

"OK, what did I miss?" Niall sighs walking closer to Zayn.

"You were saying his name." Zayn swallows, the room spinning.

"Wh- no I didn't. Don't even know who you are on about." Zayn jumps down from the shelf, tugging at his jumper as he makes his way to the doors.

"I saw all the drawings in your sketch book. Of matt." Zayn pauses, his stomach dropping a little.

"I don't know what you're on about, stop talking shit." He yanks the door open, chickens shattering around his feet as he walks quickly over to the paddock gate. He jumps it because its quicker then unlocking it and he wants as much distance between himself and Niall.

"Zayn wait! I want to talk to you about this." Zayn spins round as Niall's feet hit the gravel , Harry right behind him.

"Talk about what? How you have been snooping through my stuff?"

"I wasn't! You dropped it and I saw them. You draw him all the time." Zayn clenches his fist at his sides, anger swirling in his belly.

"So what, why do you care? Why do you keep pushing it Niall! I fucking love him and I never wanted this life without him. But why do you care! He is the reason you got hurt!"

"I want you to be happy!"

"Well I'm not OK! I'm not happy and I won't be happy and you can't change that. Not by making me forgive him or by making me want to be with someone else. This is who I am now, I am sad and I am alone and you need to fucking leave it." Niall steps forward, face softening as he reaches out for Zayn.

"No." Zayn moves out of his reach, a flicker of hurt going across Niall's face.  
"You-this, its not what I need right now. Just leave me alone." Zayn storms towards the house, Niall following.

"You need to let this anger go and just accept what it is you want to do. I don't care if he is getting what he wants too I just want you to he as happy as possible." Harry grabs Niall's shoulder pulling him back as Zayn slams the front door in his face.

"Leave it Ni." Niall slumps back into Harry's chest, starting to cry as he turns into him.

"Its OK. He will be OK eventually. He just needs more time. It wont be forever."

Xxxxx

"Rebecca Maura Styles, what do you think you are doing?" Rebecca reacts the same way she always does when she has been caught doing something she shouldn't, she drops to the floor and plays dead.

Niall sighs, rubbing his face as he looks across the floor were Zayn's pens are scattered, sketchbook open on the coffee table filled with Rebecca's drawings.

"Becs, what have we told you about going into peoples stuff and using it without asking?" She stays still, eyes closed as she answers. This is not want Niall needs when Zayn is already in a grump.

"That is can upset people and it's not nice"

"Right, so when you come back to life I want you to put it all back and then go say sorry to uncle Zayn." Rebecca opens one eye.

"I'm sorry Daddy."

"Not me you need to be saying it to Princess." She gets up, letting out a sad sigh as she starts to gather up the pens, laying them next to sketchbook.

"Uncle Zayn has the prettiest pens."

"I know, but they are for his work darling not for playing with. They are important, you can't play with them unless he has said so and is watching you OK." Rebecca nods, shoulders slumped as she walks out the room. Niall follows her to the bottom of the stairs to watch her go up and towards Zayn's room.

The front door opens as she is knocking on his door, Willow and Cameron coming in.

Cameron gives Niall a shy smile, cheeks turning red.

"Hey Mr Styles." Niall narrows his eyes, putting a look on his face that he hopes shows her that he know she hurt his daughters feelings.

"Afternoon." Willow rolls her eyes, taking Cameron's hands into hers.

"Is it OK if Cameron stays for dinner?"

"I don't see why not." Cameron smiles, shuffling closer to Willow.

"Thank you Mr styles."

"I reckon you ought to start calling me Niall now love." He looks down at their hands.  
"Guessing you will be coming about more often."

"Oh. Um yes, thank you Niall."

"Thanks Dad." Niall grins, Willow calling him dad will never not give him butterfly's.

"Door open!" He shouts as they run up the stairs

"Dad!"

"I'm joking, have fun girls."

"Oh my god." Niall laughs heading into the kitchen to put the kettle on, ready for when Harry came from walking Dougie with Jackson and Darcy.

He unloads the washing machine and heads out into the back garden to hang the washing out.

When he comes back in the kettle is whistling and Zayn is stood against the counter with his arms crossed. Niall pauses, clearing his throat as he shuts the door behind him.

"Tea?"

"Yes please." Niall grabs three mugs from the cupboard, eyes flicking over to Zayn as he moves about the kitchen.

"Did Rebecca apologise? She got into your bag."

"Yeah she did." Niall nods once then turns back to the kettle.

"Niall I'm sorry." Niall sighs, getting a spoon out of the draw.

"No don't be silly, it's me. I know what it's like to love someone and not have them, I'm sorry I keep bringing it up. I'm worried about you but I get that it's not going to help. I just want to be there for you."

"I know, and you are there for me all the time. I just need to work this out myself Ni, just me. I get its taking me a really long time but I promise I am working through this. Sometimes I think I made the biggest mistake, if I'm not over him after six years then it must be wrong. Then other times it feels right and I don't think we can have what we had before. I just need to let this sort out in my head. If I rush it then I make the wrong choice and I'm hurt all over again." Niall closes the gap between them, arms wrapping around Zayn's waist and his head resting on his chest.

"I don't like making you angry." Zayn muzzles the top of his head, before resting his cheek there.

"I don't like it either. Loves you a lot." Niall smiles, turning his head to kiss Zayn's shoulder.

"Loves you a lot too." They hug for a bit longer before Niall finishes off making the tea, taking the mugs through to the lounge just as Harry comes back.

Darcy stomps down the hallway in her wellies, until she sees the look on Niall's face then run back to the door with a sheepish smile to take them off.

Harry shuts Dougie outside until his feet dry, slipping his own shoes off.

"Tea yay!" He jumps over the sofa, nearly knocking Niall's own tea out of his hand.

"What we doing for the rest of the day?"

"Well if you don't mind husband of mine, could you amuse the kids so me and Zayn can go in the office to start working on some stuff? " Zayn looks over, surprised.

"We can start already?"

"We can start when we want. They are our books. You up for it?"

"Yes. Please, that would be awesome."

Xxxxx

That night Harry and Niall undress Zayn slowly, lips and hands touching every part of his body, fingers gently opening him up.

He is a mess by the time Niall pulls him on top of him. Arms barely keeping him up, breathing harsh. He feels like he is falling as he pushes into Niall, like the breath has been punched out of him.

Harry kisses up his back, until his nose brushes his hair, then he slowly eases himself into Zayn.

Then its all three of them, holding on to whatever they can, hips rolling and lips meeting.

Zayn's arms give out and he lays with most his weight on Niall, Harry's thrusts keeping him moving inside him.

They kiss while Zayn pushes his face into the pillow to try and silence his moans, fingers digging into Niall's shoulders.

Niall's warmth and the stretch of Harry makes him come quick, and then he comes again with Niall, Harry seconds after.

After they both clean him up they go take a shower.

Then its Zayn, alone in bed aching and sore, scrubbing away the tears with the back of his hand before they can fall and he doesn't think he has ever felt so alone before.

Xxxxxx

Niall finds Zayn standing in the hallways frowning done at his phone.

Everything OK? "He startles a little, clutching his phone to his chest.

"Yeah, I think. I just spoke to Sam. I missed my normal visit and it threw of his routine and he really likes his routine so he was a bit grumpy with me. It's fine though, I will make it up to him. He seemed happy by the time we hung up." Niall leans against the wall, eyes narrowed as he looks at Zayn. He looked sad.

"You sure that's all?" Zayn sighed, slumping against the wall across from Niall.

"I spoke to Madeline, his social worker. She's not suppose to tell me but this couple might be adopting him." Zayn voice broke and Niall's heart shattered for him.

"I guess--I guess I just forgot that he is not mine you know. And I don't know if I will be able to see him anymore if these people take him and he doesn't really like new people and he is mine Ni. I found him first. He was suppose to be mine." His eyes meet Niall's. Empty and broken.

"I didn't think I would lose him too."

Xxxxxxxxxx

Niall links his arm in Harry's as they follow the twins and Jackson up the road, Dougie running around their feet waiting for berries to drop out of the kids hands as they pull them from the bushes.

"I spoke to Liam this morning, he seems really tierd." Niall looks up at Harry, seeing the worry on his face.

"You think we should go visit soon? Or we could have Caleb for a few days." Harry sighs kicking at a stone , Dougie turning away from the kids to chase it.

"Maybe, not yet though, kinda want you to myself for a bit when Zayn goes. It's been great having him here obviously, and its been fun but it will be nice to go back to normal. Does that make me sounds like a dick?"

"No, I don't think so." Niall leans his head against Harry's arm. "I get what you mean. I like our normal. I like you." Harry laughs, nudging Niall with his hip.

"I like you too. My cute little bean."

"Bean?"

"Yep, little Irish bean all cute and adorable and fluffy. Urgh I love you." Niall tugs on Harry's arm to stop him from walking, pulling him down for a kiss.

"I love you too, so much. Blows my mind how lucky I am that I found a best friend with such a hot Dad" Harry laughs, kicking gently at Niall.

"Well I'm lucky my son got a best friend that grew into a very sexy man."

"Hey, I was sexy before I was a man."

"I know, but that just sounds wrong. Sexy boy? Sexy child? Ew." Niall shakes his head, kissing him again.

"Daddy stop being gross!" Niall pouts against Harry's lips.

"She means you."

"No she defiantly means you." Harry steps back, taking Niall's hand in his as they start walking again.

"Do you think we are helping him? Zayn, with this thing we have going on. Or do you think we are making it worse?"

"I have no idea love. I thought he seemed happier, brighter, but he is still lonely. I don't think there is anything we can do to change that though. He loves us and we are important to him and we can make him feel special and wanted but we are not what he wants. Not that he knows what he wants."

"He wants Matt, or what they had. I want that for him too, but he is so stubborn with his anger. What if he ends up alone for the rest of his life because Matt really is the only one for him and he just won't let himself try. They were soul mates. Do we have more then one do you think?" Harry looks up at the sky before looking back down at Niall.

"I did. Rebecca was my soul mate. She was made for me, I have no doudt about that. I just was not meant to keep her forever. I was supposed to find you too, to spend the rest of my life with. It could be the same for Zayn, he is just taking longer then I did to realise its OK to love someone else."

Niall really hoped that was true, that there was someone else out there for Zayn that could give him everything, if not more then what Matt gave to him. He deserved so much love in his life, more then what he was getting now.

"I really love you Harry. I'm so glad I have you and our family." Harry holds his hand tighter, eyes on the kids running in front of them.

"Me too love. I love you."

Xxxxxxxx

Niall walks across the garden, feet bare on the slightly damp grass. He stops behind Zayn, cup of tea clutched to his chest.

"What you doing?" Zayn sits up straight, tilting his sketchbook towards Niall.

"I'm not sure if it's what you imagined, but when we were going over your ideas for the book about the environment and climate change this is what came to my mind." Zayn had draw a picture of the Earth with a sad face, a plaster above its eye and a thermonator sticking out of its mouth glowing red. Niall laughs, setting his cup down so he can take a closer look.

"Just thought the kids might get the picture you know? Like its hurt and its hot and we need to help make it better. Poor earth." Zayn pouts, eyes big and sad.

Niall loves it, and he loves how into the children books Zayn was getting. He was worried Zayn would feel obliged to say yes to working on them with Niall, not wanting to hurt his feelings by saying no. He seemed genuinely excited and was coming up with some really good ideas that Niall had not even thought of, and he was already getting the pictures spot on to how Niall had been imagining.

"Z, I love it. This one defiantly needs to stay. Could be a good cover actually, and like maybe we could have a big rubbish heap be another character. You think that could work?" Zayn slides the book back across to his lap, bending down to change his pencil.

"Definitely, and this is probably shit because this is more your side of it but I thought what if we had like a villain who messes up peoples recycling and other stuff and then we have the characters that are like climate superheros, cause superheros are the shit man, and we can have the kids like help with what rubbish should go where and solve other issues to make the world a lot cleaner. That's lame ain't it?"

"No! No I actually like that, I can do that! It makes it more exciting. Hang on let me go grab my laptop." Niall wraps his arms around Zayn shoulder, squeezing him as he kisses his cheek.

"Dream team." Niall runs back across the garden towards the house with a cheer.

"Fucking dream team Zaynie!" He stops by the back door spinning round to hold his fist out, Zayn watching him with a smile.

"Climate superheros to the bloody rescue! One of them is going to be a really obnoxious vegetarian right?"

"Fuck you. Yes."

Xxxxxxxx

Niall trails his fingertips up the curve of Zayn's back before dragging them back down to where the blanket is covering his lower half.

Zayn's head is rested on his arms, facing Niall. He looks tired, eyes half closed and puffy. Harry's back is pressed to Niall, breathing softly in his sleep.

Zayn had been quite today, disappearing to his room or going outside to smoke. He had a lot to think about, and Niall got that and was glad he was taking the time to try and work things out, but he was still worried about him.

"What are you thinking?" Zayn turns onto his back, taking Niall's hand in his and holding it to his chest.

"Sam."

"What about him?"

"I'm angry. I feel guilty because he needs a proper home with a proper family, but I'm angry and I don't want these people to take him away. I'm angry at Matt for letting me get attached to him and love him when he knew there was a chance we were going to split up. The whole thing is so fucked, it shouldn't feel like this anymore should it?" Niall bites down on his lip, finger tracing across Zayns tattoos.

"When I first found out that Matt was involved I was angry and hurt too, I hated him for a really long time but I also still loved him a little. I went to see him that night, after it all happened, and I just wanted him to tell me it was not true that he could never do anything to hurt me. He didn't even try to lie to me, he admitted it all and I could tell he was sorry, that he could take it all back if he could. He looked so broken, but I was too angry to care, I wanted him to hurt. He deserved to hurt." Niall lowers his head to Zayn's chest, Zayn's hand coming up to brush over his hair.

"While it was all happening I was terrified. I thought someone was going to get hurt because of me, I have never felt as vunrable and defenless before. I had no idea who it was or why they were doing it, it was fucking scary. So I was angry for a long time."

"And now? What's it like now?"

"I guess it still hurts to think about, because he was family, but its not as bad. I think I feel more disappointed then anything, because he didn't feel like he could come to me about his worries. I had nightmares for awhile, they didn't start until after me and Harry got married. I started waking up and I would feel this horrendous panic that he, Landon, was here, sometimes it felt like he was in the room watching me and I wouldn't be able to breath. My throat would feel full and I couldn't swollow because I didn't want to, so it would take me ages to get my breath back. "

"Shit Ni. You never said." Niall leans back up on his elbows again, looking down at Zayn.

"Because it felt like something for me and Harry to deal with, and we did deal with it. I haven't had one for more then a year now. I feel like we took time to work on it and we healed. I forgive Matt, because he didn't do the thing that stayed with me. He just got desperate. But for you, he did the thing that stayed with you. I think it make sense that it's taking you a lot longer to forgive then the rest of us, and you right you can't rush it." Zayn stays quite, fingers playing with Niall's, as he thinks over what Niall said.

Niall wishes he could climb into Zayns mind and help him sort out all his jumbled thoughts for him and see what was really going on in there.

Zayn turns back onto his side, pulling Niall back down, until they are face to face.

"This thing we have been doing. Me, you and Harry, its been really nice and you have both given me a little bit of that feeling I have been missing and I think it's helped with like my mood and my head a little. It's just, sometimes, and I know you don't mean to, but sometimes after, you and Harry go into your own little world. This loved up, we just had sex and we really love each other place. It's cute and I love you guys so much for still being like that but when you go there I'm left behind and it feels lonely. I'm fed up with being lonely."

Niall instantly feels guilty. He knows him and Harry do things like that without meaning too, it's only natural, but he thought they had been better at making Zayn feel involved at all times.

"What is it you really want Zayn? The perfect ending, the dream." Zayn let's out a shaky breath.

"To be loved, not be alone. I want Sam with me everyday. Matt. I want Matt, it's always him."

"Then why the divorce? Why six years?"

"It felt right at the time, and whenever I thought about putting a stop to it and letting him back in something stopped me." Niall stroked across Zayns face, fingers trailing across his lips.

"What do you think that could be? This thing?"

"You. I think it was you, is still you. Or our friendship. The worry that he won't want us to carry on being friends and it all happens again and I get hurt, or I lose your friendship completely. I can't see a way it won't end in me being hurt. I just want someone that can accept me for me, trust me, be OK with me being friends with you."

"I understand that and its what you should have. Can I just ask, your next relationship, with Matt or someone new, what are you expectations? Do you want them to just be OK with us being friends and how you feel about me. Or do you want them to be OK with you still sleeping with me and Harry sometimes? If that's what you plan to do." Zayn let's out a puff of breath, sitting up with his knees pulled to his chest. Niall turns onto his back, leaning his head against the back of Harry's.

"I don't know. I don't need to be sleeping with you, I don't need anything sexual with you. I just need you to be my friend so if they don't like the idea of us doing this sometimes then it's fine, I will only need them. I only needed Matt. But if they are fine with it then yeah I guess. I would like to do this with you two and them. Like for fun every now and then. But it's not a requirement. So just the friendship I guess."

"Then you need to talk to him. You're never going to know if you don't ask. He has lost you and he is still waiting that has to mean something. He wouldn't have waited this long if he was not willing to give you everything" Zayn groans, falling back onto his back, bouncing a little before he settles.

"You think?"

"If he is what you want then what harm can it do to just found out where his head would be if you had a relationship again? He regret it Z, he is sorry to us all. I want you to be a happy. Forgive him, please."

"OK , yeah. Maybe I can. Maybe."

Xxxxxxx

"I can totally explain. I swear, it's actually a really funny story. You are going to laugh so much Liam."

"Am I? Am I really Niall?" Niall covers his face with his hands, trying not to punch Zayn who is smothering his face in a cushion behind him so Liam doesn't hear him laughing.

"See I can't quite work out what joke you were trying to play."

"Well you see... Its because... What I was trying to do-"

"I currently have a picture of you and my dad in bed which is not so bad, everything is covered so that's great. How sweet, love and all that shit." Niall drops his hands, shaking his head at Zayn mouthing at him to shut up.

"But then! Then I read the fucking message, expecting something nice, wishing me a happy day-"

"I do wish you a happy day. The happiest-"

"what I get instead is come back to bed Zaynie we miss your cock" Zayn laughs loudly, Niall grabbing a pen and throwing it towards his head.

"Like I said it's a joke."

"You're all having sex aren't you?" Niall screws his face up, raising his middle finger towards Zayn.

"Yes."

"You two, with my dad."

"Yes Liam." Liam is silent for a while. Zayn lowers the cushion, eyebrows raised as he looks at the phone on the coffee table.

"Tell Zaynie he can expect a punch in that cock of his when he gets home. Stop fucking my dad you arsehole! I can hear you fucking laughing. Fuck you all. Go to fucking marriage counselling next time you feel the need to invite someone else into your bed Niall. It's my Dad's bed. I can't cope. Why is this my life? Fuck you all I need to go bleach my brain." Liam hangs up. Zayn starts laughing again, rolling off the sofa and grabbing at Niall.

"He didn't sound that angry. I don't even know why he is surprised."

"Harry is going to be so pissed that he knows."

"Well don't tell Harry then. I doubt Liam is going to mention it to him. Secret is safe, Harry will never know that Liam knows."

An hour later Harry rings Niall to ask how Louis knows they are sleeping with Zayn.

His friends are the biggest gossips.

Xxxxxxxx

"You don't have to go. I can hide you in my bedroom and bring you snacks and draw you pictures." Zayn holds Jackson tighter to him, squeezing his eyes shut so he does not cry.

"I would love that mate, but I need to get home to Rae and Elliott now."

"They can hide too." Zayn laughs, pulling back so he can press a kiss to Jackson's cheek.

"I'm going to miss you, keep being a good boy and be careful yeah?"

"OK." He let's go of Zayn, looking sad as he walks over to stand with Harry.

Zayn turns to Darcy and Rebecca, holding his arms out for them to rush into.

"Bye baby girls. I love you both and will miss you. Thank you for making me laugh." They both kiss him, Darcys chin wobbling as Zayn stands back up, smiling at Willow.

"Come here you." Willow wraps her arms around his waist, head resting on his shoulder as they hug.

"I am so proud of you my brave beautiful girl. Keep being you OK, don't take any shit. Call me whenever you want, about anything. I love you."

"Thank you, love you too."

Niall walks slowly over from where he had been putting his bags into the back of the taxi.

"Hey kids, how about you run back inside to get ready for school. Can't be late." They start making a fuss, but Willow is quick to user them all into the house, sending Zayn one last smile and wave before closing the door.

"You sure you got everything?"

"Think so, everything important anyway, just post anything you find." Niall takes Zayns hand, thumb brushing over his knuckles.

"Or you might have to come back for them. Shame that." Zayn laughs, tugging Niall forward until their chests press together.

"I'm going to miss you." His voice breaks as he talks, throat burning slightly as he tries to not cry. Being here had been such a comfort to him, the thought of leaving is hard.

"Will miss you too. Don't want you to go." Zayn tips Nialls head back, pressing a small kiss to his lips.

"I will call you when I'm home OK, and I will bring the kids to come see you soon. Love you." Niall wipes at his face, turning away from Zayn as he let's his arms fall from Nialls sides.

Zayn walks over to Harry, hugging him.

"You know what you are doing now?"

"Yeah, I think so. Thank you, for the past two weeks and just being there for me all the time." Harry kisses the top of his head, hand rubbing over his back.  
"Cassie has been to the house, she got rid of the drugs for you." Zayn sighs, relived he doesn't have to go home and face them.  
"Thank you."  
"If you need us then you just come here. Whenever for however long. I hope everything is how you want it to be in the end, be happy Zayn."

Zayn manages to keep his tears in until he gets into the taxi. He turns and looks out the back window as they drive away, Harry and Niall watching as he goes.

Be happy.

He looks down at his hand, finger running over where his wedding ring used to be.

Be happy.

Xxxxxx

Zayn sits on the edge of the sofa, fingers drumming on his knee as he looks out the window, waiting for Matt's car to pull into the driveway.

He had missed the kids so much, and waiting for them to come back was torture. On top of that he was feeling nervous about seeing Matt.

He runs his fingers over his hair, smoothing down his fringe before straighting out his top.

The car pulled into the driveway. Zayn jumps up heart slamming into his chest as he walks over to the door pulling it open.

"Daddy!" Rae let's herself out of the car as soon as Matt stops. Zayn crouches down and catches her as she leaps at him.

"Hey darling." He cradles her close to his chest, her feet banging against his legs as she flings her arms around his shoulder. Zayn tried hard not to think about the days when he could slot her on his hip.

"Me too." Elliott is jogging up the driveway, rucksake slamming against his back. Zayn bends down again, Rae stepping back to make room for Elliott to get to his dad.

"Hey buddy. God I missed you two. Did you have loads of fun?" Rae nods, clapping her hands together.

"Yes we did. We done so much swimming and grandad taught me to swim on my back which was really cool and I can show Jill at my next swim lesson and she will be really annoyed she can't. We got you some presents too but Daddy said we had to unpack before we give them to you." Zayn ruffles Elliott hair, finally turning his attention to Matt who is stood just behind Elliott, hands clasped behind his back.

God, he was so attractive.

"Hey."

"Hi, you OK?" Zayn nods reaching for Rae's rucksack. Matt steps forward as he passes it over, smiling when his eyes meet Zayns.

"I will take their suitcase home to wash all their clothes, the presents are in the backpacks. Um, I got a fine from the school for taking them out but I will cover all that. I think that's all, so kids give me a kiss and I will see you next weekend." Rae and Elliott both fall into Matts arms, kissing all over his face.

"I love you both, thank you for being so well behaved and I had so much fun with you!"

"Love you Daddy, we had fun too."

"Love you Daddy." Matt kisses them both once more, looking emotional as he gets up.

Zayn hates this part. It always leaves him with an ache in his heart when one of them has to walk away.

"Bye guys. Bye Z." Zayn goes back into the house, the kids running up the stairs proably to get his presents ready.

Zayn pauses then turns back round, walking quickly to Matt's car.

He knocks on the window, hands twisting together as Matt climbs back out.

"Everything OK?"

"Are you free tomorrow night?" Matt nods, his face dropping slightly.

"Oh. Yes, I'm always free. You need me to have the kids?" He is nervous. He married this man, spent years with him but it feels like the first time he ever spoke to him.

"No. I will need a babysitter though, but I'm sure someone could, maybe Louis.." Zayn trails off with a frown, he hadn't really planned this out.

"Zayn want are you on about? Do you need to have the kids or not?" Zayn shakes his head letting out a breath. This is Matt. His husband. Was his husband.

Be happy.

"Would you like to have dinner with me? Tomorrow. A date. Me and you. Would you like to go on a date with me?" Zayn clears his throat, looking down at his feet, pretending his hands are not shaking.

"What? Zayn, yes. Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I thought... I would like to try. Its just a date. One date, but if it goes well, we could maybe.. . I want to try." Matt moves forward, reaching out for Zayn who steps back, arms wrapping around his waist.

"So yeah tomorrow night." Matt's hand drops back to his side. He looks shocked, eyes wide as he nods.

"Yes, definitely. Is eight alright with you? It can be earlier or later just whenever."

"Eight is fine." Zayn starts walking backward slowly towards the house.

"Thank you Zayn. This is- see you tomorrow. I will book somewhere, thank you" Zayn goes back into the house, heart still beating fast in his chest.

He felt like he had made a big step, he just hopes it was towards something positive.

"Dad." Rae comes down the stairs, arms full of what Zayn guessed to be his presents. "This one is from Daddy." Zayn takes it, watching as she goes over to place the rest on the sofa.

The gift was wrapped and quite small, a smiley face draw in the corner. Zayn opens it letting the wrapper fall to the floor as he holds it in the palm of his hand.

"I don't get it, why did he get you that?" Rae scrunched her nose up, looking unimpressed with the white stone in Zayns hand. Zayn laughs, eyes watering as he closes his fist around it.

Flashes of him and Matt on their first date going through his head. Matt pressed up behind him as he tries to teach him to jump stones. Pressing a small white stone into his hand, the first stone Zayn succssfully got to jump across the water. Laughing and turning to jump into his arm. I love you leaving his lips for the first time.

"Its a memory. A really good memory."

Be happy.

Xxxxxxxxx

Zayn can't stop rubbing his fingers over the stone inside his trouser pocket. He put it there for good luck, which is stupid. How is some stone that was probably picked up from some random beach that means nothing to him going to give him luck.

Its a nice reminder though. That after so many years and a lot of bad times, Matt still manages to surprise him in the nicest ways.

"You look fancy." Zayn turns, smiling at Gracie as she walks into the room followed by her dad.

"He always looks fancy, cause of his face." Zayn rolls his eyes, taking his hand out of his pocket so he can hug Gracie.

She looked so much like Cassie with her wide, bright green eyes and vibrate red hair, but her personality screamed Louis.

"Your Dad is an idiot."

"I know, mum's always telling me. Where are you going tonight?" Louis tuts, poking Gracies shoulder.

"Don't be nosy madam. Go play with Rae and Elliott, it's bedtime soon." Gracie gives Zayn another cuddle before rushing out the room.

"Thanks for having them to sleep. "

"That's OK, how are you feeling about everything?" Zayn lets out a breath, laughing at how shaky and nervous it sounded.

"I'm really scared Lou."

"What about?" Zayn slips his hand back into his pocket, fingers curling around the stone.

"What if its not the same? Our lives might be at two different places and we might not have anything in common anymore. I'm not sure we are the same people." Louis nods, rubbing as his face.

"True, its been a really long time that you have both lived separate lives, but what you definitely do still have in common is your love for each other and your kids. If that ends up not being enough then at least you can say you tried. You can walk away from it all knowing you done all that you can. That's got to be better then not trying at all, just in case it's not right." Louis was right, he had to try and if it did not work then at least he would have some kind of closure over the whole thing. He was still terrfiied that it wouldn't work out and he would have to fully accept that Matt was no longer the one for him.

"Zayn, just try to remember that you are so different to when you first met him and that you needed him for different reasons back then. Stability and strength to help you reover and keep you strong. You can do those things yourself now, just try to go into this with that in mind, because if this does not work out and if there is even a smallest of a chance this could be a thing that does not make you happy anymore then you can walk away and you will be alright. You're not a scared teenager anymore. You are a man who has more strength then all of us put together." Zayn raises his eyebrow in surprise. He never knew Louis thought like that about him, that anyone did. Zayn himself still saw himself as the same person he was when he was sixteen. He still turned to drugs when things got hard, only two weeks ago he was sat in his house ready to take some.

He had walked away though. He always walked away now. So maybe he was strong. To have that moment of weakness but then shove it to the side and not ever fully giving in. Maybe if he has to do the same with Matt he will also be OK.

"Also you proably have the prettiest dick in the world. Plenty more fish in the sea for you Mr." Zayn laughs, slapping Louis across the shoulder.

"Fuck off. We were having a bro moment then and you ruined it."

"Matts here." Cassie comes into the room, fussing over Zayns hair and clothes.

"You ready."

"Yes."

"If you need me to fake an emergency to get you out then I will. Make your expectations clear OK. Set those standerds high and make him work for you. Don't feel guilty if it's not right for you anymore. Order something really expensive, food and wine. If it goes well don't let him kiss you, leave him wanting more."

"Thanks Cass, I know how to date him."

"You be sure you do. Right, you look really nice. Be safe OK." Zayn covers her hands with his own, holding them to his chest.

"I will be, don't worry about me." Cassie huffs out a laugh.

"Always worry about you, it's a habit now. Just look after your heart please, that's all I have ever wanted you to do. Take care of yourself and what makes you happy. Don't think about the kids or Matt or us. Just you." Zayn pulls Cassie in for a hug, hand cradling the back of her head. He was so lucky to be surrounded by people that just wanted him to be happy.  
At least if it didn't work out with Matt he still had them.

He goes to say bye to the kids, successful avoiding answering Rae and Gracies a hundred questions about where he was going, then heads downstairs into the pub.

"Why are you following me?" Louis is practically pressed to his back as Zayn walks out from behind the bar.

"You actually think I was not going out to give him my, don't fuck with Zayn face?"

"You don't have a face that says that." Louis tuts, reaching up to unlock the doors.

"Just be quite and let me go all Dad on him." Zayn rolls his eyes, pushing the doors open.

Matt is leaving against his car looking so handsome that Zayns heart skips a few beats.

He hasn't seen Matt dressed up for years, only seeing him when he is rushing from work to get the kids or looking sleep deprived and exhausted dropping them off.

This Matt is in a shirt and jeans that make his legs look long and toned and his hair his fluffy and soft and exactly how Zayn used to love it.

He looks nervous as he pushes away from the car and walks towards them.

"Hey." Zayn actually acts like a teenager and blushes while doing the a little wave back.

This was going to be a disaster.  
Matt looks behind Zayn at Louis.

"Hi lou, it's really good to see you." Louis crosses his arms, leaning back against the side of the pub, looking Matt up and down.

"If he comes back with anything other then a smile on his face I will actually smash your face in."

"Jesus, Louis." Zayn scowls at him. Matt let's out a laugh, shaking his head.

"No, it's OK. I get it, and I don't plan on upsetting him in anyway. His smile is safe with me I promise. You can trust me" Louis gives Matt another hard look before stepping back towards the doors.

"Bring him back in one piece and then we will work on that trust. Have a nice night boys." Zayn and Matt don't talk as they wait for Louis to go back in, sending Matt another glare before he shuts and locks the doors back up.

"You look... really good." Zayn nods, feeling a little more awkward now that it's just the two of them. He can't remember the last time it was just them with no kids doing all the talking for them.

"Thanks, so do you." Matt smiles, holding his hand out for Zayn. He looks at it, he can barely remember what it felt like to hold his hand, then he walks straight past him. It wasn't going to be that easy.

Matt jogs to catch up with him, heading to Zayn side of the car.

"I can open my own door thanks."Matt stops, let's out a sigh then goes to his side getting in the car.

Zayn hides his smile as he get in, buckling his seatbelt.

The drive is quite, but only a little weird , Zayn relaxing back in the seat as Matt turns the radio on.

"The kids settle at Louis OK?"

"Yep, they love it there. Gracie and Rae get on really well."

"That's good, she is six now?" Zayn nods, looking out the window at the buildings passing.  
"Liam and Macy had a boy right? Elliot talks about him loads."  
"Yep, Caleb. He is proper mental, winds Liam up all day and night it's great." Zayn starts laughing, thinking about how Caleb is proably driving Liam up the wall right now.  
"I'm sorry I'm missing it all." Zayn turns to look at him, his face sad.  
"Me too. Your fault." Matts grip on the wheel tightens before he let's out a sigh and relaxes again.  
"I know. I fucked up." Zayn scoffs, because isn't that the understatement of the fucking year.

They don't talk anymore after that and soon Matt is pulling into the car park of Zayns favourite vegetarian restaurant.

They get out in silence, Matt waiting for Zayn to walk around the car before walking towards the door, his hand on Zayns lower back sending a warm shock over him. A small part of him wants to push him away, yell at him to not touch him, but tonight he needs to make some effort towards working things out.

"Reservations for Davidson please." Zayn jolts at the name, frowning before he can stop himself. Matt gives him a knowing look.  
"It was weird for me too, when I first started saying it. Matthew Davidson, I forget he existed." Zayn thinks of the smiling idiot who kept pestering him while he was going through withdrawal until suddenly his days where filled with laughter and a warm bubbling in his stomach. He remembers Matthew Davidson well. Just not this version.

They are seated in a somewhat private area, ordering drinks straight away.

They fall into easy conversation about the kids, which is defiantly a safety net they would have to venture out of before the end of the night. It can't be helped though as Matt is full of stories that Zayn has not heard from the kids directly and he wanted to know every second he had missed.

Its easier then he thought, talking to Matt. He makes him laugh and blush and by the time the food arrives he thinks that maybe he was not as angry as he thought. Maybe it had all passed and moving on and letting go of the past could be easy.

They eventually move away from talking about the kids and move on to what Matt had missed out on with the gang, he is full of questions keen to learn as much as he can about everyone's kids, laughing loudly at the many stories.

Their hands move closer across the table, then they are holding hands without even realising, feet tangling under the table as they both lean over their plates to be closer.

Its not like before, not even close, but it's the first time they have really sat down and talked without it being tense. It's nice, so nice and Zayn doesn't want the night to ever end.

But it can't all be laughter and loving touches and looks filled with heat. Zayn starts playing with the cutlery with his free hand, table now clear as they wait for dessert.

"I've still been going to see Sam." Matt looks down at the table, shoulders slumping slightly.

"How is he?" Thinking of Sam was like someone stabbing right into his chest. He slides his hand out of Matts, leaning back in his chair to put some space between them.

"He is really good, really grown up and so sensible it's ridiculous. He even has a weekend job now, at the shop just down the road from the home."

"That's really great, I'm glad things are going well for him. And that you still get to see him. I though he was perfect for you, for us."

"Yeah well-" Zayn picks up his spoon, tapping it loudly against the table. "He might be getting fostered out so looks like I could be losing him for good."

"Oh. Oh Zayn." Matt drops his face into his hands. "I am so sorry." Zayn sniffs, wiping at his nose.

"Its fine, or whatever. I'm happy he is getting a home. I'm glad I got to know him and love him. Obviously it was just not meant to be. Its just... You where so fucking cruel for doing that to me." Matt takes his hands away from his face, looking across the table at Zayn.

"I know. I was desperate, and it's not an excuse but it's all I have. I thought he would be the reason you stayed with me. I didn't have time to think what it could do to you, I just acted. I really did want him to be apart of us, I was starting to love him too."

"But you got out before it was too late. I didn't start to love him, I actually do love him. Six years I have been going backward and forwards to that place to see him and now I might never get to see him become a man, have his own life and find his own happyness." The waiter is heading back towards them with their dessert, both waiting for him to walk away.

"I wish I knew what I could do to take they pain away from you." Zayn pokes at his cake with his spoon.

"I know. I know you are sorry and I know you regret it all and I know that if you could go back you would change it all. That is why I forgive you." Matt looks shocked, reaching out for Zayns hand again, holding it tightly.

"You do?" Zayn stabs his cake, tearing a small chunk off before putting it into his mouth.

"You can thank Niall and Harry for that." The atmosphere changes the second the name leaves Zayns lips. This is the big test really. How will Matt react towards the conversation changing to Niall.

"You enjoyed staying with them?"

"I always enjoy staying with them." Matt looks down at his bowl.

"Course you do, how are they?" Zayn narrows his eyes. He can't work out what Matt is thinking. He sounds pretty casual while talking about them. He looks calm too.

"They are really good. Both doing well with work, kids are bloody amazing. Well kids and teenager, she would hate me calling her a kid. They have actual cows by the way." Matt laughs, covering his mouth.

"Of course they do! Jesus."

"This stupid fucking dog too that you just fall in love with. Beautiful horse, I always forget how much I miss horses until I go there. And the village is amazing, the people are so friendly and accepting. I got so much work done while I was there. Oh chickens too! I had a drink names after me. The slutty Zayn." Matt snorts, looking fondly at him.

"Do I even want to know how it got that name? "

"Niall thought I was being a slut for this farmer who lives near them, and his dad was the one making the drink. He was hot, but straight and I was defiantly not a slut for him. We just milked the cows."

"Oh." Matt put his spoon down, looking serious as he rubbed at his chin. "Milking cows is actually a very serious thing. Basically married I would say." Zayn lips twitch as he tries not to smile.  
"You think? Well damn, I just left without saying bye to him too. You think I should go back? Learn the ways of the farm."

"Oh yes, for sure. I mean, any farm is going to benifit from having you work it. Zayn Malik, farm boy. Can see it quite clearly." Zayn laughs, kicking Matt under the table.

"I have you know i am very good at tending to the aniamls."

"Tending to the animal! What has happened to you, you are a changed man." Zayn picks up a bit of his cake and throws it towards Matt. It hits his chests before falling to the floor.

"Shut it you. I'm exactly the same." Matt giggles, flicking some or his crumbs at Zayn.

"You wanna get out of here and go for a walk?" Zayn nods eagerly, getting up as Matt calls the waiter over for the bill.

He thinks it's going good.

They have laughed loads, he has mentioned Niall without any fuss, he has got it out there that he forgives Matt.  
He is having a good time.

They walk down the road in silence, still in quite a busy part of the city, enjoying each others company and watching people who pass them.

They pass all the clubs and the bars until they finally turn onto a practically empty street, mostly houses.

"Thank you, for giving me a chance tonight. It really means a lot."

"It means a lot to me too. I've been angry for too long."

"No, I don't think you have. My actions had a lot of really bad consequences, I have deserved the anger from all of you. I should have spoken to you sooner. I don't even know where my head was at." Zayn places his hand on Matts arm, pulling them to a stop.

"Let's not talk about it right now. We need to at some point obviously, but tonight is going really well and I am enjoying being around you. Let's just take all the bad stuff one step at a time." Matt nods in agreement, motioning for then to start walking again.

The conversation flows easily, like it has been the whole time, and Zayn is starting to feel like this really is something he can do. They will have to take it slow, make sure they are one hundred percent ready for a relationship again before letting the others and the kids know.

Zayn has to protect his own heart in order to protect the kids, he had to get it right.

He really does forgive Matt. He hasn't felt his normal anger and resentment towards him, just a familer feeling of what they used to be. Enough that he knows its reachable.

"So, where are you taking me next time then? Cause I'm thinking something fun, like laser tag or go karts. We need a good laugh I reckon." Matt stops, looking surprised but happy.

"You want to do this again?" Zayn shrugs kicking at the ground.

"Not quite sure how you expect us to get back together one day if we don't date first." Matts fish mouths, before grabbing at Zayn and turning him so his back is to the wall of a house.

"Are you fucking serious. You're not joking? Because that would be so mean and I deserve it but I'm going to cry." Zayn laughs hands grabbing at Matts arms.

"Yes I'm serious. It's going to take time and you have to really work for this but I am willing to try. I would like to try." Zayn feels so much weight lift of his shoulders as he says it, finally let's himself have what he has been denying he wants.

"Zayn... I can't... Thank you. Thank you so much. This is everything. I've been waiting--and I would have kept waiting I promise. We can go as slow as you like, you make the rules. I can't belive you actually--oh god baby." He hugs Zayn to him, hands gripping onto the back of his shirt.

Zayn can see he is crying when he pulls back, but he doesn't mention it. He is close to tears himself.

Matt gives a shaky laugh, hands rubbing up and down Zayns arms.

"You got new tattos?"  
"Yeah, well they are old now but my newest." Matt wipes at his eyes.  
"To cover the marks?" Zayn holds his arm up as Matt starts to trace around the outline of the markings.  
"Yes, Rae was starting to notice them so I thought it was for the best."  
"Oh, I didn't know that." Zayn leans into Matt slightly as he keeps stroking over his skin, eyes flutter closed a little as he thought back to Matts hands moving all over him in a similar manner.  
He would be lying if he said he had not thought of Matt in a sexual way throughout the night.  
He loved him still and he looked beautiful. He was bound to be effected.  
"I find it so weird that there are things I don't know about you now. Parts of you thst are not familiar to me. I used to know every inch of you. Marks and tattoos and scars. All your stories." Zayn let's out a breath, head tilting back.

"You can learn them. I want you to learn them. I want--I want that. I want you." Matts lips are on his before he can think about if he wants to kiss him. Zayns knees go weak, Matt gripping his waist and pushing him back into the wall with his body. He let's out a whimper, hands tangling in his blonde locks, already growing hard at the taste and feel off Matt all over him.  
He has missed this. God has he missed this. Feeling complete. Its perfect. Matts lips slot with his perfectly his hands on his waist are perfect, his taste and feel.

He is his. Matt belongs to him and he belongs to Matt and he has been without him for so long.

Matt is the only person Zayn has kissed and his whole body has reacted to him.

Matt pulls back a little to trail kisses down his neck, licking and biting at the skin. Zayn moans, tugging desperately at Matts shirt, legs parting to let him in closer. He doesn't even care at this point if someone comes around the corner or out of a house. He hasn't felt this good for years. He is pretty sure he would drop to his knees if Matt asked.

Fuck taking it slow. This is love.

"I can't belive... God Zayn. So lucky, I never thought..Thank you baby, thank you for picking me." Zayn goes still, hand dropping from Matt shirt as disappointment washes over him. Matt doesn't seem to notice the sudden change and keeps kissing over Zayns neck, slowly making his way back to his lips.

Thank you for picking me.

He places his hands on Matts shoulder then shoves him away. Matt stumbles back, looking shocked as Zayn starts wiping at his neck.

"Picking you? I'm not picking you. I'm not picking anyway. What the fuck, what do you mean picking you?"

"Over your friendship with Niall. I know its going to be hard at first but it's the right choice Zayn. Niall has his life and now we can have ours. We can be so happy." Zayn laughs in disbelief.

"That's not what's happening here Matt. Nothing is changing between me and Niall. No choice has to be made."

"But, you kissed me. Surely you know we can't be together with Niall still apart of your life." Zayn turns away from Matt, can't bare to look at him. He braces his hands against the wall screwing his eyes shut, wishing he could go back in time and never decide to do this. He had been so stupid, of course nothing is ever this easy for him. Nothing works out for him.

"This is not going to work. It can never work, Oh my god we won't ever work" Zayn pushes away from the wall and starts walking away not glancing at Matt once as he start to cry. He can't keep it in, tears starting to pour, Matt following him.

"I don't... I don't understand why I'm. Not enough."

"You are!" Zayn spins round to face him, almost laughing at the confusion on his face. "You were. I don't understand why you can't be OK with this. You don't see Harry freaking out."

"Harry doesn't have to deal with Niall loving you. He doesn't have to fucking share you like I did." Zayn feels the anger build back up, the anger he should never have let go of because he wouldn't be standing here crying and hurt if he hadn't. He was so stupid.

"You never had to fucking share me you arsehole. Never. I was all yours, I fucking loved you more then you could ever fucking know. How dare you think I should have to chose. How fucking dare you!"

"Of course I do Zayn. What am I supposed to do? Just accept you being around him when I know how you feel about him?"

"Yes!"

"Well I can't OK." Matts voice breaks and he let's out a sob "I either have all of you Zayn or none of you. I can't-I can't have you spend time with him if we are going to start over." Zayn nods, taking a deep breath to try and calm his crying.

"We're not going to start over Matt. I'm sorry. It's time for us to both move on I think. Stop clinging to the idea that we could be together again. This is it. We are over. For good. No going back now." Zayn turns walking away quickly, ignoring Matt begging him to stop.

"You're actually going to pick him over me? Over our family Zayn! I have waited six years for you to fucking work this shit out."

"There is nothing for me to work out you twat. He is my family. Him and Harry. You, you're not anymore." Zayn can feel the pressure build up on his chest, panicked and devasted at the sudden turn the night has taking. He was going to lose it soon and he can't be here when he does.

"I would love for this to work. I thought this would have been what makes everything perfect again, but it's all wrong. It won't work, not ever. And its not my fault. It's not my fault at all and it's time I stop feeling like it is. It's your fault. You are not the person I fell in love with and I don't think you ever will be again. So yeah, sorry. Goodbye Matt." Zayn turns, pushing through the crowd desperate to lose Matt. He is sure he can still hear him crying out for him so he speeds up breaking into a run as soon as the crowd thins out.

He drops to his knees once he has managed to slip down a small alleyway, certain that Matt won't find him even if he did managed to keep up.

His hands are shaking when he takes his phone out of his pocket, breathing laboured and painful.

He manages to dial the number up he needs and presses the call button, using both hand to hold the phone to his ear.

"Zayn my man! Didn't think I would be hearing from you so soon. What can I do for you?" Zayn closes his eyes, grip tightening on his phone.

What is he doing.  
What the fuck is he doing.

"You there man? You after another batch yeah? Just come by, you know you don't have to call." Zayn let's go of his phone letting it clatter to the floor.

"Fucking stupid." He picks his phone back up, hanging up and deleting the number from his history before getting back up.

He runs again, ignoring the shake to his legs and the pain in his chest, untik he reaches the familiar door, knocking hard.

Liam looks pissed off as he answers but it's quickly replaced with worry when he sees Zayn.

"Whats happened? What the fuck did he do?"

"Can I stay here tonight please? I really need you. I need you to help me." Liam pulls him into the house, Macy rushing towards them with her arms spread ready for him.

Xxxxx

6 months later.

"Maggie really likes the first draft we sent, so I just need you to send me the two drawings we talked about last week and I can put it all together a bit better. I will send it to you first to see if you are happy with it all." Zayn is hopping around trying to put his shoes on as Niall talks, phone balanced between his shoulder and ear.  
"OK, that sounds great I will send them to you as soon as I can." Zayn stumbles into the wall, his foot finally slipping into his shoe.

"I still think we should use your earth picture for the cover but when I showed it to Sonya she seemed to prefer the superheros one said it will draw the kids attention in. You can decide on that one, maybe give her a call." Zayn yanks his jacket down from the coat rack, knocking Elliotts yellow raincoat off at the same time.

"Niall I need to go love, Rae has this new teacher and I have this stupid appointment to go meet him." Zayn yanks his coat on, swapping the phone to his other hand.

"What his name?"

"I don't know, Mr knight's or something I wasn't really paying attention. Waste of my time really but he is keen to meet parents one to one. Proably a right lame arse." Niall laughs, and he knows he is rolling his eyes at him.

"Just be nice. He is about to teach your daughter for a year. Smile and play nice guy." Zayn scoffs, shaking his hair about.

"I am always a nice guy. What are you trying to imply."

"Of course you are. Now off you go. I love you. Come see us soon yeah?"

"Missing me?" Niall laughs.  
"Always. Give me lots to miss." Zayn blushes, glad nobody can see him.  
The last time he had seen Niall and Harry had been when they came down for Nolans birthday, four months ago. He had been dragged into the bathroom where they had both dropped to their knees and mouthed at his cock in the most teasing manner ever. He had come embarrassingly fast. Liam had pointed out some come on Nialls hair half an hour later. Zayn had then turned red enough for Liam to send him evil looks and not make eye contact with Harry for the rest of the day.

"I really need to go, love you bye. " He hangs uo halfway through Niall shouting goodbye and races out to the car. He thinks this meeting is pointless but he had no plans to be late and give this new teacher the impression that he didn't care about his daughters education.

He manages to get to the school ten minutes early, London traffic working with him for once in its life.

He crosses the playground, eyes roaming across the field for any sign of Rae or Elliott, he is a little disappointed when he doesn't spot either, he loves seeing them at school with their friends. Escpically when they don't know he is watching.

He signs in at the reception desk, going along with the small talk the receptionist starts as she takes him to Rae's classroom.

"Mr knight's, Raes dad is here." Zayn thanks the lady and steps into the room putting on his polite dad smile. He closes the door behind him instantly recognising the man in front of him even though he had changed quite a lot over the years since Zayn last saw him.

"Dylan?" Dylan walks towards Zayn big, excited, friendly smile on his face.

"Yeah, hi! I wondered if it would be you. God you look good man." He grabs Zayns hand for a limp handshake. Zayn just stares back. He is gorgeous. Zayn can't belive this is the same boy. Sure he was handsome at school but this man stood in front of him is another level of good looking. Zayn flushes all thoughts leaving his brain as he is flooded with a lot of imagines he never thought he would have about bloody Dylan knights. He is not even sure if he is breathing. Oh god, what if he is breathing too much?

"You're bloody hell." Zayn startled embarrassed.

"I mean hot, shit no hi! Hey. Hello. Sorry for swearing. Oh god like sorry for everything coming out my mouth." Dylan laughs, Zayn still shaking his hand. He realises what he is doing when Dylan looks down at their hands with a raised eyebrows and quickly drops it.

"Want to take a seat?" He motion's over to his desk, a chair ready and waiting for Zayn.

"What? Yes. Sitting. That would be good. Sorry." Zayn walks over to the desk, mentally kicking himself for getting so flustered.

He is Zayn Malik, he does not get flustered over men. They get flustered over him.

Dylan sits across from him, fingers brushing over his almost jet black hair, green eyes smiling at him.

Fuck.

He can't even remember if Dylan is into guys. He never saw him with anyone at school. He never really had much to do with him other then sitting next to him in a couple of classes. Dylan helped him sometimes and didn't look at him like he was a tosser. That's about all there is to their history.

Does it even matter if he is gay?

Get a fucking grip.

"So Rae is an absolute delight so far." Zayn beams, and good, this is safe ground. He can talk about his daughter without coming across like a brainless idiot.  
"Spoiler alert, she is my pupil of the week. Don't tell her." Zayn laughs, relaxing even more in his seat.  
"She will be please, she likes to pretend it's really uncool but she keeps all her badges." Dylan grins, grabbing some papers next to him and handing them to Zayn.  
"This is some of her work if you wanted to take a peak, her hand writing is a little off but she is so creative I can't really bring myself to moan at her for it, but if we could sneakily work some letter forming exercises into her school and homework I will be super please." Zayn flicks through the papers, frowning when he sees some of her letters forming wrong.

" You think its a worry? "

" Oh no, not at all. I think she has so much to say that she is just too fast for herself. If we can get it as more of a habit then she will be fine. We just need to get her there before her SATs because her answers might be read wrong and I would hate for her to be marked down. Its a shame because I don't think her previous teacher worked on her with it. "

"Mrs Lemore. She was a ratty bitch." Dylan snorts, hand flying up to cover his mouth.

"Oh god, I never met her and I'm sure she was lovely." Zayn smirks, looking up at him. Which is a mistake because now he can't remember how to talk, or sit properly. Or his name.

"Um, I don't really have much more to say because she is so perfect. I have no concerns about her socially. She seems a well adjusted, happy content girl. You must be really proud of her."

"Yeah, I really am."

"Was your husband working today? I would love to get the chance to meet him too I really think it's important to have a relationship with all parents."

"I can let him know. He is not my husband though, we divorced. I'm Single. I'm a pringle." What the fuck. Zayn grips the papers in his hand. What the actual fuck. I'm a pringle.

"I'm sorry. I don't always act like this." Dylan, leans back in his chair looking amused.

"I remember. You were Mr cool at school. I'm surprised you even remember me. I was such a dork."

"No, of course I remember. You used to help me in history and French sometimes." Dylan eyebrows shot up as he leans forward again.

"Yeah, you remember that?"

"Yeah, pretty sure I only passed cause you kept sliding me your notes."

"Pretty sure you were the only person who didn't call me creepy Dylan." Zayns eyes meet Dylans, the room around them suddenly feeling hot and a lot smaller. Dylan bite down on his lip, letting out a small laugh before looking away. Zayn clears his throat, shifting in his seat trying his best to ignore the flutter in his stomach. Butterflys. Dylan was giving him butterfly's.

"So are you with anyone? Married?"

"No, I am also a pringle." Zayn laughs, face heating up. He was never going to forget saying that. Never. And nobody must find out, ever.

"Well thank you for coming. I will get the school to contact Raes other dad to save you the hassle. It was really good to see you, I'm glad you're doing well."

"Yeah, you too. I'm glad my kids going to have a decent teacher for once." They both stand, Dylan leading Zayn towards the door.

"Ah well, I'm sure all teachers are decent." Zayn chuckles stepping out into the hallway.

"You're never going to say a bad word about another teacher are you? " Dylan just shrugs, smiling.

"I just simply don't have a bad world about anyone in the educational system. Staff or pupil."

"Yeah yeah. Would love to see if that changes after a bad day and a few drinks." He regeats it as soon as he says it, but Dylans expression doesn't change. Although Zayn imagines working with kids from the age of eleven is good practice for keeping a poker face.

"Well, once again thanks for coming. I'm sure you are really busy so I appreciate it." Dylan holds his hand out for Zayn to shake. Zayn can't seem to keep up with Dylan as he switches from chilled and laid back then to work mode but he at least manages to give him a firm handshake this time while really hoping he gets to see him again.

Maybe he can bribe Rae to be naughty. 

"Would you mind if I got your number from reception?"

"No, that's fine." Great, so maybe he does want to talk about Rae again in the future. At least he knows and can practice how to function like a normal person.

"Great. I can't use my phone at work, and I have to be professional and stuff. So just give me until like maybe 4pm and I'm going to ask you out on a date OK?"

Date.

I'm going to ask you out on a date.

Zayn is not sure what his face does over the few seconds it takes for his brain to register that yes, Dylan is going to ask him out on a date, but he figures it can't be good because Dylan starts to laugh.

Why does he lose his cool at the one time he actually wants to come across as cool. This is actually mortifying.

"Oh. Yeah, that would be...yeah. OK. You just... Yeah. I look forward to that." He goes to walk of because clearly that is the only way to not make it worse. Then he realises he is sill holding Dylans hand. Dylan stumbles forward slightly, before Zayn drops his hand quickly.

"Oh fuck. Sorry! Oh god, I'm just going to, like leave now. Bye. Fuck." He leaves quickly, the receptionist giving him odd looks as he signs himself back out. As soon as he is by his car he gets his phone out and rings Niall.

"Hey love, how did it go?"

"I need to kill myself."

"Oh, was he a twat then?"

"No. Oh God niall, my stomach is doing this thing and I was so stupid."

"Ah. He was good looking then."

"Mate, you are not going to belive it."

Xxxx

"So here we are again. Me, watching you go out on a date with someone who is not me. Guess I will never get to see that dick then." Zayn groans, shaking his head as he buttons up his shirt.

"Louis, you wouldn't even know what to do with my dick."

"Un excuse you, I would blow your fucking mind. Literally."

"Cassie! Your husband is annoying me." Cassie comes into the room, swatting at Louis with the dishcloth in her hand until he leaves the room with a screech.

"Such a nuisance." She turns to Zayn, looking him up and down.

"Oh hun, you are all buttoned up wrong." Zayn looks down at his shirt, which yes, is very much buttoned up wrong.

"Maybe I should cancel."

"Over a few buttons? How nervous are you sweetie?" Cassie moves Zayn hands away from his shirt, unbuttoning it for him so she can do it again.

"I'm either going to pass out or be sick. Maybe even both. That's about how nervous." Cassie finishes doing his shirt, smoothing her hands over the material before cupping his face.

"You looks so handsome. It's only the first date, you will be fine. If he ends up a complete bore or an arsehole then enjoy the free meal, or whatever he has planned then just block his number." Zayn laughs, turning back to the mirror to look at himself.

"He is not either of those things." He had been texting Dylan a lot since he met him at the school a week ago. He made Zayn laugh. They had spent most evenings watching the same thing on TV, Dylan providing hilarious commentary that had Zayn snorting with laughter. He also kept his phone fully stocked with cute and ridiculous selfies.

He felt like he had known him for a lot longer then a week and he hadn't even seen him face to face again yet.

"He makes me feel like a teenager again, but like the best parts of being a teenager. I want him to like me as much as I like him." Cassie presses up against his back, chin resting on his shoulder, arms wrapping around his waist.

"He will. He already does I bet. I can't wait to meet him. Put the fear of God in him." Zayn hadn't even thought about the fact that Dylan would have to be brought around the group if this went well. Oh god, that is worse then meeting the parents. Liam was already having too much fun with how much Zayn liked Dylan.

"He is the first person I have been around since Matt that I can see myself with."

"I know love." Cassie kisses his shoulder then steps back as Louis comes back into the room, hands held up in front of him.

"I come in peace. Your boys downstairs." Zayns stomach flutters. Your boy.

"Ooo, let me come take a peak." Cassie grabs at Louis, both of them rushing over to the door.

"No guys come on. Leave him alone." Zayn grabs his wallet and phone off the side and follows them as they go down the stairs laughing like children.

They stop at the entrance to the bar, peaking around the corner.

"Which one?" Louis points, grinning.

"Black hair, ridiculous eyes. Like greener then Harold's. Wearing the red shirt, perfect with his skin tone and hair." Zayn scowls at the back of Louis head.

"He is rather sexy Zayn. He looks nervous. Oh no, I love him already." Zayn sighs pushing past them.

"Bye idiots. Thanks for having the kids, you are both the best." Zayn walks around the bar, heart in his throat and palms already starting to sweat as Dylans eyes meet his, smile braking out across his face. Zayn stops right in front of him, face heating up under his stare.

"Hi." Even though he had been texting him non stop, all his weird thoughts and all his boring daily life stuff, he felt so shy seeing him in person.

He doesn't think anyone has made him like this before.

"Hey, you look beautiful." Dylan takes his hand, fingers curling around his.  
"Kids OK?" Zayns hearts swells and it takes a lot of effort to not lean forward and press his lips to Dylan.

"Yes, happily playing. "

"Good. Its nice to have you here in front of me. I've missed you." Its stupid really, because they have not really known each other long and it was just a week ago but Zayn had missed him so much too.

"You ready to go?" Zayn nods eagerly letting Dylan tug him towards the door. He turns back to Louis and Cassie. They both wave, looking happy for him as he slips out the doors with Dylan letting them close behind him.

Xxxxx

"I know its still a little chilly, but I really want to know as much about you as possible and its kind of hard to do that in a restaurant with people sitting around you, don't you think?" Dylan is zipping Zayn into a thin coat, picnic blanket and basket spread out next to them on the ground.

"Yeah, this is perfect. And I want to know about you too. Thank you for thinking of this, its sweet." Dylan chuckles pulling Zayn down to sit.

"If you told me back in high-school that I would be having a picnic date with you in the future I most definitely would not have believed."

"Well back in high school everyone thought I was about to beat on them so I'm not surprised." Dylan gives him a look he can't quite work out, before turning to the basket dragging it closer to them.

"I'm not sure what you liked but I remember how you used to always go for the meat free option at school, so I looked up all these different vegetarian recipes. I hope that's OK?" Zayn stares at Dylan as he pulls out different containers and cutlery.

He must be too good to be true. There had to be a catch somewhere.

Smelly feet?  
Small penis?  
Please do not be small penis.

"Its great, that was really thoughtful."

"Well I am wooing you, I have to be thoughtful." He gives Zayn a cheesy grin, passing him some food.

"Right, you go first then. Tell me all there is to know about Zayn Malik that I don't already know?"

"Even the boring bits?" Dylan pulls the lids off his container, shoving his fork into it.

"Expecially the boring bits."

So he does.

Its a shortened down version but he covers what he think is the important stuff all the way from high school to now.

Dylan listens the whole time, making the right noises and pulling the right face, and not because he feels he needs to but because he wants to.

He asks questions, shows real interest in knowing Zayn the best he can, clearing up any rumours he had heard and admitted to believing a few. 

It feels nice to lay it all out there so open and honestly. After Matt, he thought the best way to protect himself was to keep the messy complicated things to himself. Hide the parts of himself that might bring up obstacles and problems, but there was something about Dylan that made Zayn feel safe to get it all out.

By the time he has done, the food is all gone and they are laid out on the blanket facing each other, hands held between them and legs twisted together.

"What about you? Your family and life?" Dylan pouts his lips out, thinking as he looks down at their hands clasped together.

"You ever heard of someone who used to called himself blazer?"

"Oh god yeah. I was actually a runner for him when I was fifteen. Really nasty bloke, used to make some of the kids do some really nasty shit. He really scared me actually, don't think I would have got into drugs as much if he didn't keep pushing them on me." Dylan tugs at the picnic blanket.

"Well he is my dad."

"Oh. Oh fuck Dylan I am so sorry."

"Yeah. So that was me. Creepy Dylan by day, drug lord son by night, my Mother I never met. Sorry its grim." Zayn pulls him closer, knee slotting between Dylan as he reaches up to run his thumb across his cheek.

"We all have grim. Thank you for feeling like you could tell me. Do you still see him?" Dylan leans into his touch, letting out a sigh.

"No. He actually went to prison four years ago. One of the kids got scared and told their patents what they had been doing so they reported him. I haven't seen him since he was in court and that was only to testify against him, so can't imagine we will be on speaking terms when he gets out."

"That was a brave thing to do."

"Yeah well, he ruined a lot of people lives. Nearly ruined mine. Its why I was such a geek at school, knew I had to do good for myself and stay away from all that" Zayn frowns, thinking back to the times he saw Dylan walking through the hallways being called names and pushed about a little. He was not badly bullied but any type of bullying is shitty, and he was one of those people who done it. Maybe not to Dylan himself but to Niall and its stayed with him ever since. He feels bad that he was not the type of person who would have stopped and done something to make Dylan feel better about himself.

"I'm sorry if I was ever mean to you. I proably was at some point because I was kind of a shit person."

"Actually I think you where the only one who didn't treat me like crap. I'm sure it helped that I was giving you notes but still. It used to be a nice peaceful hour sitting next to you in class." It Makes Zayn feel a little better to know that.

That he gave Dylan a moment of calm at school.

"Look at you now though. Pretty sure you are the cool one. Awesome job, smooth and confidant." Dylan laughs loudly and its all teeth and scrunched up eyes and Zayn just wants to kiss him.

"I am most certainly not cool. Oh man, I have no idea how I kept my shit together when you walked into my classroom. Probably because I was in teacher mode. Do you even realise how nervous I was? God, I always thought you where so cool and you look like a geek god, which I'm sure you have been told. You are scary. You make me feel things that are scary and it's only the first date. Your Zayn fucking Malik." Zayn leans forward until his head is pressed to Dylans, eyes down on his lips.

"You make me feel things too. I don't think I find them scary though. I'm kind of excited. I was like a teenage girl when I left the school, rang Niall up to gush about you." Dylan smiles, leaning his head back slightly until his nose brushed against Zayns.

"I never imagined you and Niall being so close now, didn't you hate him? Or he hate you?"

"Oh he hates me alright. I don't think I ever hated him, I was jelouse that he was so comfortable in his own skin so I acted out. I was such a dick."

"Just a bit, but he forgave you and it sounds like your all one big happy family so its all good. I can't wait to meet all your friends. It will be cool to see Niall and Liam again, show them I'm not so creepy."

"Who even started that? I never found you creepy." Dylan nudges his nose, hand moving to rest on Zayns side. The touch sends a jolt of arousal to Zayn stomach and he suddenly can't wait to feel Dylans hands on his bare skin.

Zayn licks his lips, Dylans eyes following the movement. Maybe he wants Zayn just as much.

"Umm, not sure but I think maybe Liam? I used to stare at Niall a lot and he called me creepy for it one day, which yeah I was. I guess it just caught on."

"Why did you stare at him? Was it cause he had that weird forehead when he cut his hair super short." Dylan snorts, hand covering his mouth as he laughs.

"No! I didn't even notice. No, I used to fancy him like crazy. Just used to get lost in those blue eyes of his."

"What! Rally? No way." Zayn sits up, eyes widening. He had no idea. Niall hadn't said anything about Dylan fancying him when he said he was going to go on a date with him.  
He did mention he used to find him a little odd. Why would he leave out this detail?

"Yes way. He danced with me once and I had a boner for days."

"You didn't"

"Well no, of course I didn't. That would have been terrible. Had a rather good wank to it though." 

"Dylan!" They both laugh, Zayn flopping back down and going towards him more. Dylan slides his hand round to Zayn back, watching him as he settles and gets comfortable again.

"You idiot. Do You still fancy him?" Dylan pushes his face into Zayns shoulder and it take everything for Zayn not to react to his lips being so close to his neck. He places his own arms around Dylan waist, wishing he could see how they look all wrapped up in each other.

"I feel like I should say no considering I'm wooing you here, but I'm big on honesty. I think he is like super good looking still and I have all his books and sometimes I open them to just see his cute little picture in the back. Please still want a second date with me cause you are super cuter." Zayn bites down on his lip. Should he confess about his feelings for Niall? Is it something he needs to know. Telling Matt went well but then in the end its what broke them apart.

He said he was big on honesty. So would not telling him be something they could break them apart? If they became a thing.

"He is super cute. He is a really big part of my life now. We are really close and Um, it's caused problems. How we are. So I need to get it across to you now that he is apart of my life that I can never walk away from, he is a big part of me, My ex husband he couldn't deal with it." Dylan looks confused as Zayns talks.

"Why would it be a problem. Everyone needs best friends don't they? I wouldn't want you to have to step away from any of your friendships. Is it like an attention thing?" Zayn almost laughs at that. If only it had been as simple as paying Matt a little more attention.

"No. I wasn't going to mention this at all, or at least not this soon, but I guess it's good to get everything out into the open so you know want you could be walking into."

"What I hope I'm walking into."

"It might not be that simple." This is as scary as he thought it would be. It's proably the most fragile part of Zayn, his feelings for Niall. He is aware he is asking a lot for anyone to be OK with it and carry on having a normal relationship with him. And this is a first date, it's pretty heavy.

The more he gets to know Dylan the more he knows he has to tell him. Its best he knows now before Zayn starts falling. If it ends now he will be disappointed but he can get over it.

"I have feelings for Niall. I love him." Dylan sits up, hand dropping from Zayns.

Zayn is quick to follow, stomach dropping when he sees the look on Dylan face. It doesn't look good.

"Listen, it's not like, big. I don't want to be with him. He has Harry and I love him and Harry together. It's just this feeling that is sort of just there and always has been. I would never ever choose being with Niall over being with someone else, he is just my friend and it will stay that way. I can still have a normal relationship with someone else, I can love someone else more. Its hard to explain but do you understand? " He can't see Dylans face anymore so he has no idea what he is thinking. It can't be good though and Zayn just wants to pull him back to the ground and hug him again.

"Does Niall know?"

"Yeah. And Harry. It's out there and it's really not a problem."

"Harry is cool with it? He doesn't give you shit."

"No, no. Um, actually we like... We have slept together. All of us. I'm not really sure how you're taking this, I'm guessing not well?"

"So you have sex with Harry and Niall?"

"Yes. Wait no, not like all the time. It's happens sometime and oh god this sound terrible. If this go further it won't effect us. I am so completely fine with being just friends with Niall and nothing else. If that is something your into then yes it could happen but only with you there and it does not have to happen for me to be like happy or anything. I really like you and you seem bloody great and you would be enough." Dylan turns to face Zayn again, crossing his legs.

"Hang on, let me get this right. A relationship with you could potentially mean getting to see you with Niall? Possibly joining you with Niall and also Mr styles?"

"Oh God don't call him Mr styles. Harry, he is just Harrym" Zayns heart starts slamming in his chest, because he doesn't look pissed off or disgusted. He just looks normal.

"To you maybe. To me he is still Liam's dad, Mr styles. I haven't seen his dick have I. Maybe after that he can be just Harry." Zayn laughs, relived. So fucking relived.

It has to be too good to be true. It had to be.

"What makes you think you will "

"Um, because I'm going to continue to woo the shit out of you, take you on a few more dates, ask you to be my boyfriend then to prove how awesome and perfect I am going to be for you I am sitting the fuck down and enjoy every second of you shagging Niall Horan- sorry Styles, because that shit is fucking hot. Only if you want to of course. Then you are going to fall more in love with me then you ever thought possible, so be ready for that. I can be super loveable"

"Wait you wouldn't mind my feelings? They won't make you insecure? Want me to stop being friends with him."

"I would never ask you to stop being friends with anyone, that's not up to me. What I will do is choose to trust you because I think you are the kind of person I can trust. You would be mine, no matter what happens you would be mine and that is just about the best thing I can imagine right now, if you want to be mine after the wooing that is. No pressure." Hope bloomed inside Zayn, he felt intoxicated with it. He reached for Dylans face, voice shaking as he speaks.

"Please, please tell me you're serious. I can't have you mess me around with this. You're really OK with it?" Dylan places his hands over Zayns, looking softly back at him.

"I promise I am telling the truth. All I really want out of this is for you to be mine, and to make you happy. This pass week talking to you has been one of my happiest. I think we could be good together. I don't feel like it would be sharing you or anything, it's something that if it happens then it's fun for us all. And if you need to go and spend time with your friends on your own I know you will be trustworthy. I don't think you're the type to be dishonest or unfaithful. You have been nothing but open since I first started talking to you. I think you are pretty prefect really, I'm not walking away from Zayn fucking Malik just because he has feelings for another pretty hot dude." Zayn felt like the weight had lifted from his soul, was sure he could float with the happiness bubbling inside him.

He always thought his happiness was based around Matt. That Matt was his life, his world.

But sat here, with Dylan sitting across from him, nothing but the truth on his eyes Zayn can't even wrap his head around how wrong he was.

Dylan Knights. The answer to his heavy heart all this time had been Dylan Knights.

"But hey, it's only the first date so let's just see where it goes yeah." Zayn nods, a shiver going through him.

"Its getting dark, are the kdks expecting you back before bedtime?"

"No, Lou and Cass are keeping them overnight." Dylan starts packing up the food. Zayn doesn't want it to end but things had gotten pretty heavy and he didn't any to scare Dylan away so he helps clear up and folds the blanket away.

"You know, Louis gave me a bit of a talking too when i first got to the pub. You have a real solid friend group don't you?" Zayn did not even want to think what could come out of Louis mouth when he is left unattended.

"I do yes. We are a family, we have been though some shit so we are pretty strong. I'm afraid you will have to please every single one of them whilst wooing me or you are wasting your time." Dylan tucks the blanket under his arm, picking up the basket and holding his hand out for Zayn to take.

"I like a challenge, wouldn't have decided to work with kids if not. Just so you know i have already got Rae on my side. She loves me."

"Well, that's a good start I guess. Your doing good by the way, at wooing. I'm quite wooed already."

"That's good to hear. I was really nervous for this." Zayn moves closer to Dylan, arms brushing as they walk.

"Me too." Zayn stands by the car as Dylan throws the stuff in the back, before opening the door for Zayn.

"Are you going back to the pub or am I taking you home?"

"Home please." The drive to Zayns house is mostly silence, but its comfortable after they have already spoken so much. They are just enjoying each others company.

When they pull into the driveway, Dylan parking behind zayn car, he is so disappointed the date is coming to an end. He enjoys Dylans company so much, wants to know so much more about him. He sits for a bit trying to think of any excuse to prolonge saying bye. In the end its Dylan who makes a move, unbuckling he seat belt with a happy sigh.

"I should walk you to your door. To help with the wooing." Zayn smiles down at his lap, hand already unbuckling his own belt.

"Makes sense." They walk slowly, glancing at each other as they move up the path.

"Right so, we will text to sort out another date?"

"Yes, definitely." Zayn shoves his hands into his pocket, rocking back on his feet.

"OK great." Zayn doesn't make a move to go inside and Dylan doesn't move to leave.

Butterfly's swirl back in his belly, fluttering about, making him feel a mixture of giddy and sick.

He forgot that it felt like this. Its a nice feeling. The start of something.

Dylan cups Zayns chin, lifting his head up a little.

"Could I kiss you?" Zayn is nodding before Dylan has even finished getting words out, hands coming up to wrap in Dylans shirt as he steps forward.

"Zayn fucking Malik." He whispers with a smile before pressing their lips together.

Everything seems to melt away as Dylan gently grips Zayns waist and pulls him closer, lips moving slow, learning each other.

Zayn slides his hand up to the back of Dylans neck, fingers gripping at the black strands as the kiss speeds up, Zayn parts his lips pressing against Dylan more as he slips his tounge past his lips, groaning as they clash and taste.

Goosebumps. He has goosebumps all over. He can feel them raise and spread. Can feel the chill of them mix with the heat of everything else.

Zayn pulls back, head spinning and breath gasping from him.

Dylan eyes remain closed, lips quirking into a small smile, his finger twitched against Zayns hips.  
"Wow." Zayn doesn't think wow even begins to cover what he just felt during that kiss. He fumbles in his pocket for his keys, Dylan still looking dazed as Zayn unlocks his door.

"That was th-" Zayn grabs the front of Dylans shirt and yanks him into the house, leaning over his shoulder to close the door before slamming Dylan back into it and crashing their lips back together.

Dylan whimpers, kissing back quickly his arms wrapping around Zayn neck. 

He is working open Dylans shirt before he even realises what his hands where doing. Dylan doesn't stop him though so he keeps going slipping it from his arms and letting it drop to the floor. Zayn runs his hand down his chest and over his stomach, feeling the muscles tense under his touch.

He breaks the kiss to look down, hand gripping onto the belt on Dylan jeans.

"I don't normally do this kind of thing so soon, just so you know." Dylan sound breathless as he talks, hips pushing away from the door as Zayn unbuckles his belt.  
"Kissing people does not normally feel like that though so I'm guessing the rules can be a bit different for this situation-Holy fuck." Zayn drops to his knees, kissing down Dylan stomach as he goes.

He is gorgeous. Beautiful. Sexy. Fucking pretty.  
Every good thing you can think of, Zayn thinks Dylan is it.

He pops the button, hands shaking as he work the zip down.

"Are you gonna... Holy jesus." Zayn hooks his fingers in the waistband of his jeans, slowly wiggling them down until they are around his knees. He looks up to meet Dylan eyes, fingers running over the top of his boxers. Dylan swollows then nods. Zayn pulls them down quickly, Dylans dick already hard.

"Thank god its not small." Dylan let's out a short laugh.  
"Why would it be small?" Zayn shakes his head, leaning back down to kiss Dylans hip before wrapping his lips around the tip of his dick, letting his taste fill his mouth. Dylan let's out a deep breath, hand gripping into Zayns hair.

"Zayn I won't... Oh god, you don't even understand how good you look. I won't last, if you want to have sex." Zayn laughs, letting Dylan slip out of his lips.

"Could you come again after?" Dylan closes his eyes, head falling back with a thud against the door.

"Are you kidding me. This is... Zayn fucking Malik." Zayn takes that as a yes and takes Dylan back in his mouth, sliding down until his nose pressed against the soft hairs at the bottom of his stomach. He does this three times before Dylan is coming with a cry, hand twisting in Zayns hair. Zayn swollows, breathing out of his nose as he works Dylan through his orgasm. He tastes sweet with a slight bitter tinge that Zayn actually loves. Which, Considering its come, is quite the accomplishment.

Zayn stands back up, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. Dylan is panting eyes wide as he watches Zayn.

"So, you going to take me to bed?"

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Are you wooed yet?" Zayn lifts his head up, to grin down at Dylan who's head is currently slotted between his knees.

"I think it's safe to say you wooed the shit out of me." Dylan blows a raspberry on his belly, making Zayn giggle and swot at his head.

"Sounds messy." He crawls back up Zayns body, brushing his lips gently over Zayns.

"So as we are breaking the rules. Multiple times-" Dylan waggles his eyebrows. "Can I break one more and aks you to be my boyfriend before the wooing stage is over. Would your friends approve?" Zayn leans up for a harder kiss, legs wrapping around Dylan waist.

"They approve. They get no choice. Ask me." Dylan pulls back, brushing Zayns damp hair from his face.

"Zayn fucking Malik. Will you be my boyfriend ? No take backs." Zayn leans back into the pillow, biting the inside of his lip to keep his smile at bay.

"I think I could do that, yes." Dylan kisses him again, and it's toe curing and stomach flipping and he has a boyfriend.

He has a Boyfriend.

Dylan fucking Knights.

"I'm gonna suck your dick now. Can't belive how lucky I am. I get to suck a dick that's been inside Niall fucking Styles." Zayns laughter booms around the house, feet kicking as Dylan starts to tickle at his sides. He winks at Zayn before yanking the duvet over his head, sliding down until his nose brushes down the length of Zayns dick.

Zayn gasps at the warmth of his mouth, back arching as his hands curl into his pillow.

Lucky.

How did he get so lucky.

Xxxx

9 months later.

Zayn signs his name of the sheet before sliding it across to Dylan. He moves from foot to foot as Dylan writes out his name keeping up the small talk with the receptionist.

He felt sick. With nerves and excitement.

It was happening. It was happening and Zayn hadn't slept all week because it was happening.

They are buzzed in and Zayn grabs Dylans hand speed walking them though the hallways and passed the main rooms, familiar faces greeting him as he goes.

"Babe, slow down."

"I will slow down when we are home. I'm going to jump out of my skin if we don't just hurry up." Dylan yanks him to a stop, spinning him around to hold his face.

"It's here. I get you have waited a lot longer then me and i understand why you might be nervous, but take the time to enjoy this. It's here and it's happening and nothing is going to change that." Zayn nods, taking a deep breath and slots his hands in Dylans.

He loves him.

He is so in love with him.

Their lives are about to get fuller and it's one of the happiest days of Zayns life and he has a ring shoved in his draw back home that he will be getting out very soon and he just loves this man so much.

"OK, I am calm. Sorry." He walks the rest of the way at a normal speed, greeting people who pass. His heart is about to slam out of his chest as he turns the corner and walks into the room.

Sam looks up, his conversation with his social worker coming to a stop as he zips up his bag.

"Morning!" Zayn smiles, stepping into the room to give Sam a hug and ruffles his hair.

"Stop it, you know that annoys me." Zayn laughs, kissing the top of his head before stepping back holding his arms out.

"Come on then buddy. Its time to take you home."


End file.
